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Message
re: Acquaintance is Pissed Cause I Said No To Borrowing
Posted on 5/6/20 at 11:03 am to SirSaintly
Posted on 5/6/20 at 11:03 am to SirSaintly
Never loan a friend something with a motor, or your wife. There's a good chance you'll get either one back with a rod slung in it. 
0
Posted on 5/6/20 at 11:05 am to Supermoto Tiger
quote:
Hard to comment becuase this would never happen to me. I dont loan things out to people. The last time i did, I never saw the item again.
Agreed. Every time I have loaned something out it has come back broken. None of it was cheap to fix or replace.
Posted on 5/6/20 at 11:06 am to SirSaintly
Cut you buddies grass yourself and then brag on FB about it so people think you are a hero.
Wear a mask so nobody calls you out on nextdoor and ruins your hero status.
Wear a mask so nobody calls you out on nextdoor and ruins your hero status.
Posted on 5/6/20 at 11:09 am to BestBanker
quote:And he won't fix his own lawnmower.
Teach a man to fish.
Man, if I had a nickel for every time I heard this...
Posted on 5/6/20 at 11:10 am to AUriptide
quote:
I learned some years ago that friends are a liability.
Yep...Helped countless friends move, do construction projects (example. Jack hammering for a sewer line, sheet rocking a ceiling, painting).. All of them were too busy when I needed help..
I helped family do all kinds of stuff. I called my SIL to get my nephew to help me spread dirt at my house and she wanted me to pay him..That really pissed me off because I spent countless hours helping them for FREE!
Posted on 5/6/20 at 11:51 am to Pettifogger
quote:
my friends are pretty much welcome to borrow whatever they want whenever they want for however long they need it.
If someone breaks something or loses something they'll replace it or pay me or I'll tell them it doesn't matter if it's old/not that valuable.
This is how to live life with GOOD and true friends and this is what life is supposed to be, we all should be able to help each other out when we need it.
Also, there are too many acquaintances now with social media where people think they can take advantage of others they barely know.
Posted on 5/6/20 at 12:41 pm to SirSaintly
quote:My kindness is always conditional. That approach applies to friends, family, my wife, and complete strangers. Those conditions obviously vary based on the situation; sometimes implicit and seemingly negligible, other times explicit and more stringent. Regardless, if the conditions aren't met, my kindness stops. I enjoy helping people, even if I don't know them. And because I'm explicit about my conditions when I think it'll be necessary, I don't worry about being taken advantage of.
Last week they asked via FB if they could borrow again. I just ignored and acted like I didn't see it.
Well I received a long, drawn out FB PM last night at about 3am about how they thought we were good friends and they can't believe I told them no. "It's just a lawnmower" and his wife was so upset that we told them no and are wondering what they did.
I'm basically going to consider this a good lesson to never offer to help anyone but really good friends. Did I do anything wrong here? Would you be mad?
It helps to not be awkward or a pushover. I'm charming and sociable enough that I wouldn't have had to autistically ghost someone the second time they asked for a favor. I would have called dude and worked out a scenario where I either continued to help him because I wanted to, or I didn't continue because I didn't want to. Either way, I would have limited the awkwardness and I wouldn't have to worry about him constantly lurking and acting thirsty in my DMs. If you're too autistic or timid to casually bring up or discuss a topic that directly affects you (like a neighbor pimping you out for your lawn care equipment) then it might be best for you to just cut off everyone.
Posted on 5/6/20 at 12:48 pm to Athis
quote:
Yep...Helped countless friends move, do construction projects (example. Jack hammering for a sewer line, sheet rocking a ceiling, painting).. All of them were too busy when I needed help..
I helped family do all kinds of stuff. I called my SIL to get my nephew to help me spread dirt at my house and she wanted me to pay him..That really pissed me off because I spent countless hours helping them for FREE!
If you help people with any thought of any sort of repayment, you're bound to be disappointed. I help people move and things like that because I like them, I want to help them, and they appreciate it. Whether they help me later or not never enters the equation. Incidentally I've always had plenty of people help me in the past when I needed favors. In the case of moving I always provided free food and booze as a thanks as well.
This post was edited on 5/6/20 at 12:49 pm
Posted on 5/6/20 at 12:55 pm to SirSaintly
Tell them you ain't letting them borrow it no mower.
Posted on 5/6/20 at 1:03 pm to SirSaintly
Should have mowed it for them
Posted on 5/6/20 at 1:04 pm to Hulkklogan
quote:I'd argue that your kindness is conditional and requires that you be repaid with appreciation. If you helped someone move and they treated you like shite the whole time and then told you to frick off after, you would probably feel like a used whore and would be unlikely to again offer that person help.
If you help people with any thought of any sort of repayment, you're bound to be disappointed. I help people move and things like that because I like them, I want to help them, and they appreciate it.
Posted on 5/6/20 at 1:06 pm to SirSaintly
Should have mowed their yard for them. And did it better than he does.
Posted on 5/6/20 at 1:09 pm to SirSaintly
quote:
was complaining on FB
quote:
they asked via FB
quote:
Yesterday on FB
quote:
I received a long, drawn out FB PM last night
found your problem, luckily its easily solved
Posted on 5/6/20 at 1:10 pm to SirSaintly
I had a cousin who wanted to borrow 5k, knowing his history, I told him frick no....
He owed my grandmother about 10k at the time...
He owed my grandmother about 10k at the time...
This post was edited on 5/6/20 at 1:12 pm
Posted on 5/6/20 at 1:14 pm to SirSaintly
If it was just an acquaintance, I probably would have ignored the facebook post. If it was a good friend, I would have helped them out.
As a rule, I usually regret anytime I type anything of facebook. I rarely do, but almost always regret that shite.
As a rule, I usually regret anytime I type anything of facebook. I rarely do, but almost always regret that shite.
Posted on 5/6/20 at 1:16 pm to SirSaintly
Honestly, you were a bit of a jerk. You could have asked them “was your mower not able to be fixed? What is wrong with it, perhaps I can help you fix it.”
Or you can say no and potentially lose them as friends. Which is what you did.
Borrowing a mower twice is not taking advantage of you. Borrowing one all summer is. You got offended too quickly.
Or you can say no and potentially lose them as friends. Which is what you did.
Borrowing a mower twice is not taking advantage of you. Borrowing one all summer is. You got offended too quickly.
Posted on 5/6/20 at 1:29 pm to ChEgrad
This is why I do not loan stuff to people. The first time, sure. Now the guy had three weeks to find a solution. He could have got a kid to do it. He could have tried fixing his mower. He could have hired a service. He could have knocked most of it down with a weed eater. He could have set it on fire.
What would this guy have down if he hit a tree root or a brick or something else that broke his friends mower?
What would this guy have down if he hit a tree root or a brick or something else that broke his friends mower?
Posted on 5/6/20 at 1:31 pm to SirSaintly
quote:
They returned it 4 days later.
i cut my grass every 3.5 days during quarantine.
Posted on 5/6/20 at 1:32 pm to Pecker
You have a point but seems like a weak one. Of course, I'm not a door mat. But I don't help people with the expectation of reciprocation.
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