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re: 12 Year Old Girl with BPD
Posted on 4/29/24 at 3:55 pm to Leotiger725
Posted on 4/29/24 at 3:55 pm to Leotiger725
Have her committed to a psychiatric hospital with a unit specifically for children and adolescents. She will be cared for round the clock by staff who are trained to deal with manipulative behavior. She will participate in group sessions led by social workers, and individual therapy with her psychiatrist. Additionally, there will be school taught by teachers trained to deal with children who act out, and music and art therapy as well. Good luck!
0
Posted on 4/29/24 at 3:57 pm to Boondock Saint
quote:
Tough situation, but I can tell you what won't work. Prayer.
I disagree but not just based on the Judeo-Christian angle. Prayer is a healthy tool not just for hoping for God's intervention... It also has a calming affect attuned to silent and inner reflection. Now if you're waving a crucifix over her and yelling like Robert Tilton, then yeah. It might be a little ineffective. There's never anything wrong with quiet, reflective prayer.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 3:58 pm to lsunutinno
From 13-21, I fully expected to get an early AM phone call telling me that our daughter was dead. I told my wife all the time that I just hoped she didn't kill someone else too.
She's truly made an amazing turn around. I credit my son-in-law with 90% of this. He's a great guy and amazingly patient and understand with her. They just had their first baby and she seems to be a very attentive parent. I pray daily that everything continues to workout for them.
OP, one of our best friends had similar issues and Teen Challenge worked for them. I linked it earlier.
She's truly made an amazing turn around. I credit my son-in-law with 90% of this. He's a great guy and amazingly patient and understand with her. They just had their first baby and she seems to be a very attentive parent. I pray daily that everything continues to workout for them.
OP, one of our best friends had similar issues and Teen Challenge worked for them. I linked it earlier.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 3:59 pm to Leotiger725
Sounds like conduct disorder.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:00 pm to Leotiger725
God Bless you Leo. My daughter has a bit of anxiety from time to time and I have to get in the right place to be patient enough and do the best for her in the moment.
I can only imagine your struggle. I pray it gets better for you guys and she gets the help she needs. YOU are doing a hell of a job though in a difficult situation.
I can only imagine your struggle. I pray it gets better for you guys and she gets the help she needs. YOU are doing a hell of a job though in a difficult situation.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:05 pm to Jake88
Conduct disorder is typically how they label it with kids.
I believe it's usually not until they are adults they they use ASPD and BPD.
I believe it's usually not until they are adults they they use ASPD and BPD.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:05 pm to Leotiger725
Buddy, I have no advice for you but you have my empathy and prayers.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:05 pm to LSUZombie
quote:
LSUZombie
quote:
Posts like this kind of snap me back to reality
Checks out
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:06 pm to lsunutinno
Yep
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:10 pm to Leotiger725
Dang man, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Good luck.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:11 pm to Leotiger725
Child psychiatrist (I’ve heard good things about children’s hospital Nola), dialectical behavioral therapy.
Stop walking on eggshells and I hate you don’t leave me are two good books on the subject.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Even for trained professionals BPD patients are some of the most difficult to manage.
Stop walking on eggshells and I hate you don’t leave me are two good books on the subject.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Even for trained professionals BPD patients are some of the most difficult to manage.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:11 pm to lsunutinno
quote:
I believe it's usually not until they are adults they they use ASPD and BPD.
Pretty much.
They don’t like to use certain labels such as those, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, etc, before a certain age because those labels can’t get removed.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:14 pm to Leotiger725
Been there. Done that. Unfortunately, unless she's institutionalized, it won't get better and you're responsible for her until she's 18. Mine displayed the same behaviors and we haven't spoken at all in 3 years. It sounds shitty to say as a parent, but she brings no joy to my life, only grief. That being the case, I don't want her around.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:18 pm to Aubie Spr96
That's great about your daughter, Aubie.
My heart breaks for folks who have family members, or significant others with serious personality or mood disorders. I am truly thankful that my life has been relatively normal in this regard. My grandfather (mom's dad) was manic depressive so I have a fear in the back of my head that it will get me, or my siblings in a late onset. I am 36, sister is 38, and brother is 41, and so far, we are good. My mom is 64 so she is about at the age where it is unlikely that she'll ever develop anything.
My grandfather died when I was 12 or 13, and my memories of him are actually very fond. Any symptoms he'd display didn't dawn on me as unusual for the most part because I was so young, and oblivious to mental illness. I am thankful for that. I loved going to visit him in his little trailer. He was good about taking his lithium, and I remember him being a very mellow, loving, and caring man. Even at the end when he had to live in a facility because he couldn't care for himself anymore and had severe emphysema, we'd visit him there, and he'd randomly break out singing church hymnals-I really cherish those memories.
Anyway, I really hate that y'all are going through this OP, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I hope that things turn around for her. As many have said in this thread-there is hope, and hope is what keeps us sane. So never give that up.
My heart breaks for folks who have family members, or significant others with serious personality or mood disorders. I am truly thankful that my life has been relatively normal in this regard. My grandfather (mom's dad) was manic depressive so I have a fear in the back of my head that it will get me, or my siblings in a late onset. I am 36, sister is 38, and brother is 41, and so far, we are good. My mom is 64 so she is about at the age where it is unlikely that she'll ever develop anything.
My grandfather died when I was 12 or 13, and my memories of him are actually very fond. Any symptoms he'd display didn't dawn on me as unusual for the most part because I was so young, and oblivious to mental illness. I am thankful for that. I loved going to visit him in his little trailer. He was good about taking his lithium, and I remember him being a very mellow, loving, and caring man. Even at the end when he had to live in a facility because he couldn't care for himself anymore and had severe emphysema, we'd visit him there, and he'd randomly break out singing church hymnals-I really cherish those memories.
Anyway, I really hate that y'all are going through this OP, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I hope that things turn around for her. As many have said in this thread-there is hope, and hope is what keeps us sane. So never give that up.
This post was edited on 4/29/24 at 4:20 pm
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:22 pm to Tantal
Sorry that you and all the others in here have had to go through that. I can't imagine having to deal with or feel like that about a child of mine.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:22 pm to Leotiger725
Terrible. Sounds like a horror movie.
In addition to what you've tried, I would recommend finding physical activity she can tolerate and leaning into that. Burn some of the energy off. Sports, outdoors, karate, something.
One would think the more isolated and cooped up she gets with therapy and punishment, the worse she'll act.
In addition to what you've tried, I would recommend finding physical activity she can tolerate and leaning into that. Burn some of the energy off. Sports, outdoors, karate, something.
One would think the more isolated and cooped up she gets with therapy and punishment, the worse she'll act.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:25 pm to lsunutinno
quote:
Conduct disorder is typically how they label it with kids.
Also Severe Mood Disorder
quote:
I believe it's usually not until they are adults they they use ASPD and BPD.
From my experience, an actual BPD diagnosis or some other more specific diagnosis can come as early as mid-teens.
OP, I'm sorry for what you and your family are going through. Your child is suffering greatly and I know it gets harder and harder everyday to feel empathy but you need to get her real help asap.
The problem is that you won't find anything even close to proper help in Louisiana. Your best chance for now is finding a bed for her at New Orleans Childrens Hospital. While she's there, you can get some help to start researching intensive residential treatment centers in other states. I would start in Liberty, Texas.
It will cost you because insurance won't fully cover any treatment center worth sending her to. Also, look for staff to child ratio's of 1 to 5 or less. I wouldn't push higher than that until she's had some treatment and you all find some stability.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:26 pm to The Pirate King
This thread might be the OT’s finest hour. I’m proud of yall.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:26 pm to Aubie Spr96
The right partner can work wonders. A close friend of mine has had bpd for years. She was always erratic, had trouble holding down jobs, would constantly cycle through friend groups, and was generally incredibly self-destructive. She had been forcefully committed due to suicide attempts after a bad breakup, voluntarily gone for addiction at times, etc.
After years of watching her spin her wheels as she started making a concerted effort to improve herself (mostly through therapy, art, and treating people better), she finally decided to be vulnerable and get into a serious relationship with the man whom she’d been in love with but sorta kept at arm’s length for a couple years out of fear of being hurt. Instead of running from her feelings or trying to string along a situationship, or asking for friends with benefits while spiraling out of jealousy because he could see other women, she actually told him her true feelings and demanded a real relationship or nothing.
They’ve been dating seriously for just under a year now, and she’s completely changed in a positive way. While she’s still not the best employee one could find, her habits are so much healthier, she’s no longer acting out for attention or abusing alcohol to make friends. She’s still prone to emotional swings, but usually over real problems and not just problems she manifests in her head. She’s got a stable home life, great friends, constructive hobbies, and she’s even going to church.
It turned out that when she finally allowed herself to be vulnerable and put her insecurities on the table, she found someone who embraced her completely and healthily. Just getting that unconditional love was most of what it took to completely turn her entire life around. It turned out that much of her negative behavior stemmed from craving attention and validation. Now that she has that, she no longer seems to seek the attention. I’m super proud of my friend even if I “lost” my favorite drinking buddy
After years of watching her spin her wheels as she started making a concerted effort to improve herself (mostly through therapy, art, and treating people better), she finally decided to be vulnerable and get into a serious relationship with the man whom she’d been in love with but sorta kept at arm’s length for a couple years out of fear of being hurt. Instead of running from her feelings or trying to string along a situationship, or asking for friends with benefits while spiraling out of jealousy because he could see other women, she actually told him her true feelings and demanded a real relationship or nothing.
They’ve been dating seriously for just under a year now, and she’s completely changed in a positive way. While she’s still not the best employee one could find, her habits are so much healthier, she’s no longer acting out for attention or abusing alcohol to make friends. She’s still prone to emotional swings, but usually over real problems and not just problems she manifests in her head. She’s got a stable home life, great friends, constructive hobbies, and she’s even going to church.
It turned out that when she finally allowed herself to be vulnerable and put her insecurities on the table, she found someone who embraced her completely and healthily. Just getting that unconditional love was most of what it took to completely turn her entire life around. It turned out that much of her negative behavior stemmed from craving attention and validation. Now that she has that, she no longer seems to seek the attention. I’m super proud of my friend even if I “lost” my favorite drinking buddy
This post was edited on 4/29/24 at 4:29 pm
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:31 pm to Tantal
Update
I got her committed today to a long term facility in South Texas
I hope that the counselors will hold her to account and not be manipulated. Thank you for the advice and kindness. I hope none of you have to deal with this or even interact with this type of behavior. The Lord will provide.
I got her committed today to a long term facility in South Texas
I hope that the counselors will hold her to account and not be manipulated. Thank you for the advice and kindness. I hope none of you have to deal with this or even interact with this type of behavior. The Lord will provide.
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