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Message
re: 12 Year Old Girl with BPD
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:32 pm to Leotiger725
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:32 pm to Leotiger725
quote:
I have prayed over her
I am shocked that this didn't work
0
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:37 pm to Leotiger725
quote:
Update I got her committed today to a long term facility in South Texas
I hope that the counselors will hold her to account and not be manipulated. Thank you for the advice and kindness. I hope none of you have to deal with this or even interact with this type of behavior. The Lord will provide.
That’s great news. It’s just the first step but I hope it helps you all to get a better understanding of what she’s suffering with and to get her on the medication regimen that suits her best. Finding the right medication is key and not as simple as most think.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:45 pm to Leotiger725
God bless you
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:49 pm to Big Scrub TX
Big Scrub
You are a nut and mushrooms and MDMA are not the answer. Maybe for adult veterans suffering from PTSD, but not a 12 year old girl.
I disagree with everything you post on TD.
You are a nut and mushrooms and MDMA are not the answer. Maybe for adult veterans suffering from PTSD, but not a 12 year old girl.
I disagree with everything you post on TD.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:50 pm to Leotiger725
quote:
My daughter was just diagnosed with BPD. She is extremely manipulative, dishonest, and destructive. She has threatened to commit suicide 4 times in the past year and been hospitalized each time. She made up a story about her mother stranguling/abusing her and reported it to the miltary, which nearly ended her mother's career via court martial.
She seems to lack any empathy whatsoever. She threatened to murder her 1 year old baby sister and set a cardboard box on fire in my house.
Has anyone had any experience dealing with something like this? We are seemingly running out of options. I have tried to communicate with her from every angle and tried multiple ways of discipling her, but nothing works. I have prayed over her, medicated her, but it only gets worse and worse.
That's not bipolar.
She's a full blown sociopath
This post was edited on 4/29/24 at 4:51 pm
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:53 pm to Leotiger725
Your daughter needs long term treatment in a residential program. BPD requires therapy and a living situation where the manipulation will not work. In residential programs staff run the same behavior management protocols 24/7, 365. At 12 things can get much worse, the longer you wait.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:55 pm to theunknownknight
Borderline personality disorder, not bipolar disorder
Posted on 4/29/24 at 4:56 pm to Leotiger725
Are you talking about Borderline Personality Trait Disorder?
If so.... I'm sorry bro.
My ex-wife has this and all I can tell you is - buckle up. I don't know that there is a cure. Medication and intense therapy can help.
I could write you a book my man. It's rough.
I will say this - they can cut off / sever any relationship over any perceived "abandonment" or any time you don't take thier side.
There is never any accountability on their end. They act like it never happened. They can go forever without speaking to you. Do NOT EVER expect an apology from them. Ever.
They can say and do the absolute WORST things, turn it around on you.... hate your guts. Never speak to you again until YOU cave in and apologize or ....
When their life crashes for the 4,682nd time, they're your best friend.
Again - I'm sorry. MY ex wife is the absolute worst person in the world.
If so.... I'm sorry bro.
My ex-wife has this and all I can tell you is - buckle up. I don't know that there is a cure. Medication and intense therapy can help.
I could write you a book my man. It's rough.
I will say this - they can cut off / sever any relationship over any perceived "abandonment" or any time you don't take thier side.
There is never any accountability on their end. They act like it never happened. They can go forever without speaking to you. Do NOT EVER expect an apology from them. Ever.
They can say and do the absolute WORST things, turn it around on you.... hate your guts. Never speak to you again until YOU cave in and apologize or ....
When their life crashes for the 4,682nd time, they're your best friend.
Again - I'm sorry. MY ex wife is the absolute worst person in the world.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 5:01 pm to Leotiger725
quote:
My daughter was just diagnosed with BPD. She is extremely manipulative, dishonest, and destructive. She has threatened to commit suicide 4 times in the past year and been hospitalized each time. She made up a story about her mother stranguling/abusing her and reported it to the miltary, which nearly ended her mother's career via court martial.
She seems to lack any empathy whatsoever. She threatened to murder her 1 year old baby sister and set a cardboard box on fire in my house.
Sounds like she also has a conduct disorder going on too.
quote:
Has anyone had any experience dealing with something like this? We are seemingly running out of options. I have tried to communicate with her from every angle and tried multiple ways of discipling her, but nothing works. I have prayed over her, medicated her, but it only gets worse and worse.
Medications do not do much for personality disorders because the person being medicated does not see the problem. Call your PCP and get her referred to a pediatric psychiatry program ASAP. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is the only thing that has been shown to help and that is if the therapist is able to convince the patient there is a problem and how to recognize the symptoms. Also I know you do not want to think about it because she is your daughter and only 12 years old but if she has started having periods get her on contraception. It is not uncommon for teens with BPD to get pregnant as an alternative to threatening suicide as an attention seeking behavior.
ETA: Prayers sent for you and her mother. It is going to be difficult. Best of luck.
This post was edited on 4/29/24 at 5:03 pm
Posted on 4/29/24 at 5:02 pm to Leotiger725
quote:
I got her committed today to a long term facility in South Texas
That is great news, don't expect miracles but she will be getting tools for herself to use to live with BPD.
As far as the allowed phone calls, make sure to set rules and stick to them. She will be lashing out in anger at you on the telephone and it will be extremely hard to listen to but your best choice is to just hang up the phone.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 5:03 pm to Leotiger725
I dealt with a 17-20 year old version of this for three-and-a-half long years. She was not my child, and thankfully I could walk away, but it was a rollercoaster. I've mentioned it here before, her mother was full blown and she was slowly turning into her mother. It was her step-dad who told me to cut my losses and get away from her.
This post was edited on 4/29/24 at 5:09 pm
Posted on 4/29/24 at 5:05 pm to Leotiger725
quote:
Leotiger725
Glad to hear buddy. I know that is a load off. Best of luck for the situation to heal itself over time.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 5:08 pm to Leotiger725
Jesus, dude. As a father to an 11 year old who is a pretty mature, well-adjusted kid, I still want to strangle her during some of her moments. I cannot imagine dealing with a daughter who acts like a crazy ex or something.
Sorry I didn't offer any help or encouraging words, but hope it all works out for the best for your family. Tough situation there.
Sorry I didn't offer any help or encouraging words, but hope it all works out for the best for your family. Tough situation there.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 5:11 pm to Northshore Aggie
When my ex wife had her episodes... and let me say - it's Tuesday. Who loses their $hit on a random, boring, mondane Tuesday? A nothing going on Tuesday?
A Borderline does. And it's always YOUR fault.
Anyways - it could be something so simple as her endless complaining about petty stuff from her job, or aches and pains and eventually you just get tired of hearing it.
She can go off the rails when you disagree with her, or try to put in place boundaries ...
Two books - "Stop walking on egg shells" and "I hate you don't leave me" can help.
My ex used to get in my face screaming (and you can see the devil in her face) ANGRY, cusssing - "I F'N HATE YOU... if I was a man I would stomp your a$$"....
"I don't need you!"
Yep. And I had 2 boys with this woman.
They cannot be trusted. With anything. You cannot trust her with your credit or debit card, her cell phone... you cannot trust their word, or anything about them.
Even now, 10-11 years later, she lives 3.5 hours away and I don't trust her, negotiate with her, and I keep conversations short and sweet.
A Borderline does. And it's always YOUR fault.
Anyways - it could be something so simple as her endless complaining about petty stuff from her job, or aches and pains and eventually you just get tired of hearing it.
She can go off the rails when you disagree with her, or try to put in place boundaries ...
Two books - "Stop walking on egg shells" and "I hate you don't leave me" can help.
My ex used to get in my face screaming (and you can see the devil in her face) ANGRY, cusssing - "I F'N HATE YOU... if I was a man I would stomp your a$$"....
"I don't need you!"
Yep. And I had 2 boys with this woman.
They cannot be trusted. With anything. You cannot trust her with your credit or debit card, her cell phone... you cannot trust their word, or anything about them.
Even now, 10-11 years later, she lives 3.5 hours away and I don't trust her, negotiate with her, and I keep conversations short and sweet.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 5:14 pm to Leotiger725
quote:Agreed that 12 is too young, but this is going to be a long-term thing you are dealing with. You should spend some time learning about as many therapies as you can. MDMA-assisted therapy is likely very soon to be approved by FDA. The key part is "assisted therapy" - it's not just taking drugs.
You are a nut and mushrooms and MDMA are not the answer. Maybe for adult veterans suffering from PTSD, but not a 12 year old girl.
It's fine to hate on me all you want, I'm just trying to help. The most recent Phase 3 Trial data is actually quite promising for treating BPD. I don't know the earliest age they will allow a patient to enter a study (I'm guessing 18, but not sure about exceptions or other countries).
quote:
MDMA may have potential to improve treatment outcomes for individuals with borderline personality disorder. In particular, we hypothesize that the acute effects of MDMA may promote reduced emotional avoidance and support the development of a strong therapeutic rapport associated with disclosure of important therapeutic material, catalyzing more fulsome processing of traumatic invalidation or trauma. These hypothesized mechanisms may support shifts in the attachment-related structures that play a role in persistent areas of dysregulation and dysfunction among patients with borderline personality disorder, such as interpersonal and affective symptoms and related suicidal tendencies. With recent findings supporting the efficacy of MDMA-AP for PTSD, exploring the use of MDMA among individuals with borderline personality disorder appears fully warranted.
LINK
I understand you are reeling, but you should reconsider dismissing treatments out of hand before even learning about them. At some point, she will be old enough.
I do know of some teens legally receiving psilocybin therapy as young as 16 - but it was out of the country.
Again, hate on me all you want, I don't take it personally. I'm simply leaving information here that could be of possible long term help in your situation.
This post was edited on 4/29/24 at 5:17 pm
Posted on 4/29/24 at 5:15 pm to Leotiger725
quote:
You are a nut and mushrooms and MDMA are not the answer. Maybe for adult veterans suffering from PTSD, but not a 12 year old girl.
It seems crazy, but its not. Not saying that you should or should not look into this for your child, but psychedelic, MDMA, Ketamine, etc psychotherapy is becoming more and more mainstream, and that is because it has been proven affective for certain disorders.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 5:16 pm to wheelz007
quote:
My ex used to get in my face screaming (and you can see the devil in her face) ANGRY, cusssing - "I F'N HATE YOU... if I was a man I would stomp your a$$".... "I don't need you!" Yep. And I had 2 boys with this woman. They cannot be trusted. With anything. You cannot trust her with your credit or debit card, her cell phone... you cannot trust their word, or anything about them
I think this rage stems from deep self loathing related to some previous trauma. I believe that there is good evidence for reincarnation and these souls may be entering this present incarnation with significant spiritual/psychic baggage from the previous lifetime. These individuals are in pain. They are not evil.
This post was edited on 4/29/24 at 5:17 pm
Posted on 4/29/24 at 5:21 pm to Funky Tide 8
quote:There are studies underway for ketamine and BPD also.
Ketamine
quote:
This pilot study provides the first randomized controlled evidence of the effects of antidepressant-dosed ketamine in people with BPD. Our results provide reason for optimism that antidepressant-dosed ketamine will be well-tolerated in larger studies and may provide clinical benefit for mood symptoms and related impairments in people with BPD.
LINK
However, the OP does not seem to have mentioned treatment resistant depression as a symptom of his daughter's. I'm fearful that a lot of the benefit here will be ONLY if the patient also has that condition.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 5:22 pm to Funky Tide 8
quote:
It seems crazy, but its not. Not saying that you should or should not look into this for your child, but psychedelic, MDMA, Ketamine, etc psychotherapy is becoming more and more mainstream, and that is because it has been proven affective for certain disorders.
You’ll have a lot of difficulty finding a legitimate provider who will administer to a 12 year old. The earliest I’ve heard of at this point is 14 and they had to show legitimate treatment resistant depression (documented failure with multiple antidepressant meds). There hasn’t been enough studies for that age range and what’s good for adults isn’t necessarily good for developing brains.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 5:26 pm to BluegrassBelle
Yeah, good point.
I just think that in OP's situation it might be wise to entertain any possible effective treatment for help for his daughter.
I just think that in OP's situation it might be wise to entertain any possible effective treatment for help for his daughter.
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