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Message
re: 12 Year Old Girl with BPD
Posted on 4/29/24 at 5:29 pm to Leotiger725
Posted on 4/29/24 at 5:29 pm to Leotiger725
quote:
Update
I got her committed today to a long term facility in South Texas
I hope that the counselors will hold her to account and not be manipulated. Thank you for the advice and kindness.
I hope none of you have to deal with this or even interact with this type of behavior. The Lord will provide.
Glad to hear you found a facility for her. I just saw this thread and was going to recommend that given the circumstance. We typically don’t want to diagnose with BPD at her age because of potential hormonal/puberty influence but she sounds textbook by symptoms. And to be diagnosed at 12 means it’s a pretty significant presentation.
And as someone who used to work in long term PRTF, the folks working those facilities typically see more extreme presentations of personality disorders like BPD and are very familiar with the manipulation tactics. There will likely be a honeymoon phase as she feels out the boundaries she thinks she can push. Highly encourage engaging in family therapy through the facility as they can help everyone involved (and as I’m sure you know at this point the BPD affects far more than her). I also recommend the book Walking on Eggshells. It’s an excellent text for family/friends of those with BPD.
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Posted on 4/29/24 at 5:34 pm to Funky Tide 8
quote:
Yeah, good point.
I just think that in OP's situation it might be wise to entertain any possible effective treatment for help for his daughter.
Absolutely. Just wanted to put out there that there’s definitely a process to finding someone for her age and there’s usually multiple meds that’ll have to be tried (which will likely happen while she’s in the facility) before it’d ever be considered. I haven’t personally seen someone young as 12 being administered it as most of the facilities here won’t administer until 16 and up (and anyone under 18 has to have a specific type of referral that isn’t easy to obtain).
I believe a lot of it has to do with liability concerns. My boss is currently doing the training for psychedelic administration and she mentioned there’s a lot of red tape for anyone under 18. And a lot of insurance carriers limit coverage of clinicians if it’s under 18.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 5:37 pm to Swagga
quote:
Someone here can probably point you in the right direction.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 5:46 pm to Leotiger725
quote:
I got her committed today to a long term facility in South Texas
If it's Meridell, don't get your hopes up too high.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 5:56 pm to Leotiger725
quote:
Update
I got her committed today to a long term facility in South Texas
I hope that the counselors will hold her to account and not be manipulated. Thank you for the advice and kindness. I hope none of you have to deal with this or even interact with this type of behavior. The Lord will provide.
I don't divulge alot on this forum. I keep my personal and professional life to myself. Suffice to say there are few around these parts that professionally, can speak as well to this as I can.
They won't be manipulated from an LTC standpoint, this is right in their wheelhouse. In fact, they'll likely caution you not to be manipulated by her.
Additionally, there may be aspects of her care that as a parent, seem harsh to you or even borderline cruel. If so, bring it back here and we'll chew on it.
I'll give you an example. I was once a member of a treatment team who took care of a 9 year old girl who showed many of the same traits as your daughter. She would often get angry and act out. One of the ways she would act out is she would stare you straight in the eye and defecate on herself. When she did this, she was held accountable by making her wash her own underwear in the toilet bowl with her bare hands. She power struggled for awhile and then relented.
Just remember, sometimes when people take care of us, it feels bad.
This is where it all begins. Over the next few years it will feel OK and it will feel bad but I promise you this. Although nothing is guaranteed, the prognosis is so much better than you've been led to believe in this thread.
This post was edited on 4/29/24 at 6:01 pm
Posted on 4/29/24 at 6:06 pm to Leotiger725
quote:
Maybe for adult veterans suffering from PTSD, but not a 12 year old girl.
Just to be clear, as I replied about it also, and my screenname is Mushroom, I don't at all advocate doing this for a 12 year old child.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 6:08 pm to Leotiger725
Your daughter, you and everyone close to your daughter will be in my prayers.
My family had/has some members suffer greatly from mental illness.
My heart aches thinking about what you're dealing with.
Stay as strong as you possibly can. I know you know how much your family needs you.
Obviously no guarantees, but miracles can absolutely happen.
My family had/has some members suffer greatly from mental illness.
My heart aches thinking about what you're dealing with.
Stay as strong as you possibly can. I know you know how much your family needs you.
Obviously no guarantees, but miracles can absolutely happen.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 6:20 pm to Leotiger725
quote:Wow. Louisiana Youth Challenge Program. Sending your family prayers.
She threatened to murder her 1 year old baby sister and set a cardboard box on fire in my house.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 6:21 pm to Leotiger725
quote:
Update I got her committed today to a long term facility in South Texas I hope that the counselors will hold her to account and not be manipulated. Thank you for the advice and kindness. I hope none of you have to deal with this or even interact with this type of behavior. The Lord will provide.
I promise your daughter and your family will be in my prayers immediately. I do not believe the facility staff will be manipulated by her. The people that work in these places have seen everything and then some. Also, you might want to either get some therapy for yourself or join a support group. You have been through a lot. I can’t even imagine the mental scars you have. God Bless brother.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 6:21 pm to Leotiger725
I know this is not advice, but I just wanted to say I can't imagine how scary and stressful it must be to live like that. Do you take turns watching her, so the other can rest and recharge?
Posted on 4/29/24 at 6:31 pm to Leotiger725
Most will say I’m crazy, but I don’t care. You need to get that girl in a Holy Spirit filled church and get her to an alter for prayer. You’re dealing with the demonic.
That’s not your little girl behaving like that, it’s a spirit. Meds just treat the symptoms of it, but Jesus Christ is the cure. I’m not telling you this to scare you, but to encourage you. There’s a cure, you just have to trust and have faith. “Greater is He that is in me, than he that’s in the world”
1 John 4:4
“For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places” Ephesians 6:12,
That’s not your little girl behaving like that, it’s a spirit. Meds just treat the symptoms of it, but Jesus Christ is the cure. I’m not telling you this to scare you, but to encourage you. There’s a cure, you just have to trust and have faith. “Greater is He that is in me, than he that’s in the world”
1 John 4:4
“For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places” Ephesians 6:12,
Posted on 4/29/24 at 6:33 pm to Leotiger725
Sorry all this is happening to you. First thing I would have done is to move the baby crib to my bedroom and kept the door locked at night. And maybe have some kind of "ding" go off when she opened her bedroom door. You could also put the same on your bedroom door if she felt very negative with it.
You said you prayed over her, and thats great, despite the voices here. Obviously, you may have felt there were other forces that might be with her? Have you contacted any professionals in that area?
You said you prayed over her, and thats great, despite the voices here. Obviously, you may have felt there were other forces that might be with her? Have you contacted any professionals in that area?
Posted on 4/29/24 at 6:36 pm to Leotiger725
quote:
I thought about sending her to a military school, but that won't work.
Military schools have actually shown to not be effective for kids with mental health issues. They are effective for lack of a better term average punk who does not have a father figure but not for real mental health issues.
quote:
She always has the nuclear option of threatening suicide, and she uses it very often.
It's mostly attention seeking behavior and they have no intent on actually doing it. I know a father whose daughter has BPD kept threatening suicide. He lost it one day and slide his deer knife across the kitchen counter to her and said "Go run a warm bath, take an aspirin, and remember to cut up your arm not across it (he must have just watched the first season of House of Cards). Oh and please tell your mother to text me if she needs anything from the mall. I am going to buy a new suit." He swears that she has not mentioned suicide again. He says that she is still out of control, but now she is just using sex to get attention. So I do not recommend that approach because what if on the <0.001% chance she actually does it then you will hate yourself. Hospitalization is a much better approach; you did the right thing getting her committed.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 6:38 pm to Tantal
quote:
If it's Meridell, don't get your hopes up too high.
We had an awful experience there but I’ve recently met a family that swear they saved their lives. Their child to adult ratio was about 9:1 when my son went. Learned a lot from that 3 months..
Posted on 4/29/24 at 6:40 pm to Leotiger725
Thoughts and prayers are with your family. I am genuinely curious, as I have read your posts, as well as all of the responses. Her violence seems to be directed towards Mom and her sister. Your daughter does not appear to say she wishes violence towards you, the Father.
I hope her commitment is beneficial, for all involved. As others have said BPD's are immensely difficult, because they are ultimate narcissists and nothing is ever their fault. There is no personality mirror for them, and they don't see themselves for who they are. Master manipulators that will destroy others, for their own benefit. Getting her help, sooner, rather than later, will hopefully help.
Best of luck and Godspeed.
I hope her commitment is beneficial, for all involved. As others have said BPD's are immensely difficult, because they are ultimate narcissists and nothing is ever their fault. There is no personality mirror for them, and they don't see themselves for who they are. Master manipulators that will destroy others, for their own benefit. Getting her help, sooner, rather than later, will hopefully help.
Best of luck and Godspeed.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 6:53 pm to Leotiger725
quote:
I thought about sending her to a military school, but that won't work.
Check into residential treatment/school facilities. They will have people who specialize in the treatment.
Threatening suicide, and multiple attempts l, are textbook borderline behaviors. As are substance abuse and acting out sexually. If you set limits and boundaries, you MUST abide by them. Any crack and they will exploit it.
Unfortunately, many borderlines to end up committing suicide “accidentally.” Their intent is to attempt and get found in time to be saved, but sometimes their timing is off.
Get her into therapy with a specialist and make sure she stays med compliant. Don’t let her destroy your family. Oftentimes families are a casualty of the borderline. You and your wife need to always be on the same page.
I will tell you that we have a friend whose 18 yr old is a borderline. After many years and tears they are finally making some headway. Get your daughter into something she likes and can focus on. Our friend’s daughter has started baking. She is also holding a job.
Good luck.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 7:10 pm to Leotiger725
Prayers for you and your family. I hope you can find some method of help for her.
This really puts things in perspective. Here I am complaining about the normal trials and tribulations of raising 2 boys under 5 years old. Those things seem so trivial when you read about what other parents are going through.
As a father of younger kids, this has me curious, if you don't mind me asking...
When did behavioral problems start to arise? Been that way for a while, or did this start coming about in the tween years?
This really puts things in perspective. Here I am complaining about the normal trials and tribulations of raising 2 boys under 5 years old. Those things seem so trivial when you read about what other parents are going through.
As a father of younger kids, this has me curious, if you don't mind me asking...
When did behavioral problems start to arise? Been that way for a while, or did this start coming about in the tween years?
Posted on 4/29/24 at 8:11 pm to Leotiger725
It’s unbelievable how far modern medicine has come, yet they can’t fix so many debilitating diseases.
Posted on 4/29/24 at 8:20 pm to Leotiger725
Look up Neurofeedback it helped my sister with hers
This post was edited on 4/29/24 at 8:21 pm
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