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re: How is everyone transitioning your children financially after high school?
Posted on 8/18/26 at 5:19 pm to Redstickbaw
Posted on 8/18/26 at 5:19 pm to Redstickbaw
quote:
If they want on campus housing or apartment during college they will need to get a job and pay for that.
I don’t pay their tuition/fees, it’s covered by scholarships. I do pay their rent. They cover food/fun/books. Rent is expensive (850 each a month) but they have a nice place and their own bathroom, all utilities included, individual lease so no concerns if roommates come or go.
In my state living on campus is required if it’s more than 30 miles from your home, this is at nearly every state university. It was cheaper when they moved to student centric apartments.
Expect them to change majors or otherwise need 5 years to finish, my only things to add to your thoughts (2 in college 20 and 22).
Both should graduate in the spring, youngest already has a job lined up due to internship this past summer. Oldest is kinda lost in the wilderness about what he will do, I don’t really care as long as he works full time after he hopefully graduates in May.
Posted on 8/18/26 at 6:06 pm to Redstickbaw
My son started paying all his bills gas truck insurance and cell phone when he turned 16, once he graduated he went to community college and lived at home and worked full time and paid what TOPS didn’t pay. We kept telling him to save enough to not have to pay PMI on his first house and he did. He was able to buy my wife’s grandmothers house and we gave him her portion of the inheritance since he had saved almost 50k so he ended up with almost 90k equity in it at purchase.
My daughter has worked since 16 and was able to get additional scholarships in addition to tops. We pay her portion of an apartment as well as give her an allowance each month. But she is expected to work and pay her own gas/spending money. We have told her we will pay for classes she passes and she’s on the hook for any she drops.
Best thing I did was promise her a high dollar purse for a 4.0 that she got in high school and now a Rolex if she completes undergrad with a 4.0.
Im very blessed and both my kids work hard and have given me no trouble at all and will be better of financial than I am.
My goal was to have them appreciate what help I gave them and allow them to pursue and education that would pay off but not give them so much that it spoiled them.
My daughter has worked since 16 and was able to get additional scholarships in addition to tops. We pay her portion of an apartment as well as give her an allowance each month. But she is expected to work and pay her own gas/spending money. We have told her we will pay for classes she passes and she’s on the hook for any she drops.
Best thing I did was promise her a high dollar purse for a 4.0 that she got in high school and now a Rolex if she completes undergrad with a 4.0.
Im very blessed and both my kids work hard and have given me no trouble at all and will be better of financial than I am.
My goal was to have them appreciate what help I gave them and allow them to pursue and education that would pay off but not give them so much that it spoiled them.
This post was edited on 8/18/26 at 6:33 pm
Posted on 8/18/26 at 8:17 pm to notsince98
quote:
My kids earn cash for babysitting, pet setting, etc. and that counts as earned income.
Do they file a return as well?
Posted on 8/18/26 at 11:25 pm to sjmabry
quote:
My son enlisted in the Air Force. Smooth financial transition, me.
Thank him for his service.
Posted on 8/18/26 at 11:26 pm to Ol boy
Impressive
Posted on 8/18/26 at 11:40 pm to Redstickbaw
My kids (3 oldest) bought their first car, cover maintenance and gas, and insurance all on their own since age 16.
My youngest (17 years old) borrows our '07 Accord (no air conditioning). He has money saved for a car but doesn't mind suffering the Georgia heat for no bills.
All of the kids are responsible for their own college. Hope/Governor's Scholarship covers tuition. We have helped with first year dorm/apartment. But after that, they are on their own. If they need to move back home, they can. My oldest daughter moved in with a roommate freshman year and didn't need our rent assistance.
All 4 have jobs (my 17 year old makes $17/hr as an intern at an engineering firm).
Most work 2 jobs (and take summer classes) over the summer to build a nest egg so that school doesn't compete with bills during the winter.
They love their cars that they paid for.
They appreciate the College that they pay for.
We have started a nice tradition of buying music festival tickets for the kids and their others. Paying for ski trips with the kids and their others. Doing weekend getaways to the beach or mountains with the kids and their others.
We have a little nest egg saved to gift some down-payment assistance on their first homes when ready.
Outside of that, im saving for my wife's and my retirement. I was 100% on my own at 18, and I wouldn't have it any other way for myself.
My youngest (17 years old) borrows our '07 Accord (no air conditioning). He has money saved for a car but doesn't mind suffering the Georgia heat for no bills.
All of the kids are responsible for their own college. Hope/Governor's Scholarship covers tuition. We have helped with first year dorm/apartment. But after that, they are on their own. If they need to move back home, they can. My oldest daughter moved in with a roommate freshman year and didn't need our rent assistance.
All 4 have jobs (my 17 year old makes $17/hr as an intern at an engineering firm).
Most work 2 jobs (and take summer classes) over the summer to build a nest egg so that school doesn't compete with bills during the winter.
They love their cars that they paid for.
They appreciate the College that they pay for.
We have started a nice tradition of buying music festival tickets for the kids and their others. Paying for ski trips with the kids and their others. Doing weekend getaways to the beach or mountains with the kids and their others.
We have a little nest egg saved to gift some down-payment assistance on their first homes when ready.
Outside of that, im saving for my wife's and my retirement. I was 100% on my own at 18, and I wouldn't have it any other way for myself.
Posted on 8/19/26 at 1:14 am to meansonny
quote:
Impressive
Just blessed!! I have seen so many kids who were truly raised up good turn out bad. I am truly fortunate that I knew both of mine had their heads on right from an early age.
Posted on 8/19/26 at 3:15 am to Redstickbaw
Real ballers set up a GST
Posted on 8/19/26 at 7:52 am to lynxcat
quote:
Inheritance is more valuable when 22 than 52.
As long as they are ready for it and responsible enough to handle it. Many, if not most, 22 year-olds aren't ready for the responsibilities of home ownership. We already have a thread on this page about a 20-something year old that is trying to figure out how to get out of their mortgage payments.
I have 4 kids in their 20's and two of them I have no worries and 2 of them still need a little guidance - more interested in partying and living it up, as opposed to saving money and planning for their future. All have college degrees and bright employment futures, so they'll come around when they are ready.
This post was edited on 8/19/26 at 8:11 am
Posted on 8/19/26 at 8:26 am to meeple
quote:
Do they file a return as well?
No. they keep it under $400.
Posted on 8/21/26 at 9:00 am to Jax-Tiger
quote:
As long as they are ready for it and responsible enough to handle it. Many, if not most, 22 year-olds aren't ready for the responsibilities of home ownership. We already have a thread on this page about a 20-something year old that is trying to figure out how to get out of their mortgage payments.
I have 4 kids in their 20's and two of them I have no worries and 2 of them still need a little guidance - more interested in partying and living it up, as opposed to saving money and planning for their future. All have college degrees and bright employment futures, so they'll come around when they are ready.
Yep, will be a judgement call whenever that time arrives. I also will not be pushing the home ownership agenda. I think geographic mobility is quite valuable at that younger stage of life.
My bigger picture 'ah ha' in the last few years is that inheritance is much more useful and valuable in early adulthood than it is when someone is older.
Posted on 8/21/26 at 9:24 am to lynxcat
quote:This is my general feeling. I have one that is out on their own and has bought a home, but it was a great deal in an awesome older neighborhood so it seems to work.
Yep, will be a judgement call whenever that time arrives. I also will not be pushing the home ownership agenda. I think geographic mobility is quite valuable at that younger stage of life.
I have one that is graduating in 2027, I plan on paying tuition room and boarrd not paid for by TOPS or any other scholarship money. He will be responsible for a job, preferably on campus, to cover his fuel, his entertainment and other odds and ends.
My 2030 grad is on track academically to get a full ride somewhere as his grades and standardized testing stuff project quite highly, but my plan will be the same for him. We should have enough set aside for them to get a good State school education, but would love to have a little left over
Posted on 8/21/26 at 9:29 am to Redstickbaw
I used similar plan as you at that age.
My kids are in 30s - 40 now. I funded investment accounts for each a few years ago, with about $10k. Am helping them learn to be investors. Several have added some of their money. Teaching them the "get rich slowly" approach.
My kids are in 30s - 40 now. I funded investment accounts for each a few years ago, with about $10k. Am helping them learn to be investors. Several have added some of their money. Teaching them the "get rich slowly" approach.
Posted on 8/21/26 at 9:41 am to KWL85
quote:I have hammered my kids since their teens the importance of compounding interest. I would have retired a few years ago if I would have saved prior to 35 years old, and even then only small amounts.
My kids are in 30s - 40 now. I funded investment accounts for each a few years ago, with about $10k. Am helping them learn to be investors. Several have added some of their money. Teaching them the "get rich slowly" approach.
My 28 year old has been saving 12% of her income a year for 6 years, plus match. So she is already compounding more interest than I put into savings when I was a decade older.
Back to the topic, I feel a certain responsibility to guide them thru their education insuring that they are employable post graduation, to have a voice I also think that means I pay for their education. Starting life managing debt is tough, if you owe a student loan or such it just makes the cycle of debt management a huge part of your financial future and that is generally disastrous.
In 15 years if they are all on their way to sound financial futures, their mom and I will spend every nickle we have saved whooping it up versus worrying about them.
Posted on 8/21/26 at 9:41 am to udtiger
(no message)
This post was edited on 8/22/26 at 9:32 pm
Posted on 8/23/26 at 1:27 pm to Redstickbaw
Told them they could go to college and we’d pay, or they could go get a job and start paying rent, they all chose college, graduated debt free and are now supporting themselves and their families.
Posted on 8/23/26 at 2:37 pm to Redstickbaw
They got a bunch of scholarship money.
We paid their expenses.
They were not ridiculous about anything.
We are still generous with our kids.
We paid their expenses.
They were not ridiculous about anything.
We are still generous with our kids.
Posted on 8/23/26 at 9:52 pm to Redstickbaw
Oldest is a freshman
Bought her a car, paying her insurance
Paying all of her tuition / housing / meal plan/ fees that us not covered by scholarship
Giving her $500/semester “allowance”
She worked a summer job and saved up a lot. Plus got graduation gifts etc. she used some of her grad money to buy a new phone and laptop.
She pays for her gas, groceries / eating out (if she doesn’t want to eat all her meals in the dining hall / meal plan).
She’s planning on rushing a sorority, that will be something she pays for.
Her career path as of now will require grad school, we have told her she’s on her own for that.
For this deal to continue, she is expected to maintain her grades and standing in a way that does not cause her to lose any of her scholarships.
Bought her a car, paying her insurance
Paying all of her tuition / housing / meal plan/ fees that us not covered by scholarship
Giving her $500/semester “allowance”
She worked a summer job and saved up a lot. Plus got graduation gifts etc. she used some of her grad money to buy a new phone and laptop.
She pays for her gas, groceries / eating out (if she doesn’t want to eat all her meals in the dining hall / meal plan).
She’s planning on rushing a sorority, that will be something she pays for.
Her career path as of now will require grad school, we have told her she’s on her own for that.
For this deal to continue, she is expected to maintain her grades and standing in a way that does not cause her to lose any of her scholarships.
This post was edited on 8/23/26 at 9:54 pm
Posted on 8/23/26 at 11:59 pm to lynxcat
quote:
I will expect them to treat their performance in college like it is a full-time job...but they are earning "As" instead of being paid.
What are your guidelines on this? Did you communicate a "floor" GPA? Just wondering how you handle this.
quote:
This is what my parents did with me and I'm thankful for the arrangement.
Same. I'm interested in the internships portion as well. Sometimes I wasn't able to get one but I had to at least work which is valuable in my opinion. Valuable as in "This sucks. I better study more so I don't have to do this BS anymore!"
Posted on 8/25/26 at 12:20 pm to DoomGuy504
Paid for 12 years of private school, 4 of which were at a very nice high school. Child performed great in school until high school. Lowest TOPS, no scholarships, should have been able to have a complete free ride if more effort was put in.
We pay, car expenses (insurance, repairs, etc.), some gas, and the kids living expenses at home. (The wife slips the kid money every now and then. Doesn't bother me, but crazy they think I wouldn't notice.) The kid is paying their own tuition, and expenses for going out.
Kid is not really happy with the arrangement but was constantly reminded over four years of HS that there would be consequences for not performing in school while on our dollar.
We are secretly open to reevaluating the money situation if things improve academically. But we are not telling the kid that information!
We pay, car expenses (insurance, repairs, etc.), some gas, and the kids living expenses at home. (The wife slips the kid money every now and then. Doesn't bother me, but crazy they think I wouldn't notice.) The kid is paying their own tuition, and expenses for going out.
Kid is not really happy with the arrangement but was constantly reminded over four years of HS that there would be consequences for not performing in school while on our dollar.
We are secretly open to reevaluating the money situation if things improve academically. But we are not telling the kid that information!
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