re: Family meals are wearing me down - any suggestions?

I’m “thirding” paper plates. Cleanup becomes virtually non-existent.

I save the dishes for the weekend and once the kids move out.

Lots of good ideas in here. I’d suggest preparing favorite family meals ahead of time, and freezing in portions to feed everyone with no leftovers. You can avoid leftover burnout that way.

Chili, soups, stews,pasta sauces, lasagna,are just a few ideas you can handle this way. Add a salad or quick vegetable and you can put out easy, quick meals with little prep time.

What time do yall leave in the morning and get back in the evening?

Second the crockpot. Makes dinner easy. I'd also recommend casseroles. I used to make them on Sat or Sun and either refrigerate them or freeze them for later in the week.

Also, the sooner you can get your kids making their own food, the easier your life will be. I'm not talking about the kids necessarily cooking for themselves, but making their own sandwiches or reheating their own leftovers would be helpful.

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It feels like we’re doing this all wrong and shouldn’t be wrung out like a used towel every night of the week while still looking at a somewhat unkempt house.

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Dude, you have small children...there is no secret hack to make life easier on you and the wife. It's a complete pain in the arse that you just have to work through. Things will get back to a better pace soon (unless you allow your wife to talk you into having another kid).

My advice? Get a maid or maybe hire a retired/teenage relative to come clean your house a couple of times a week. Doesn't seem it's the cooking part that is the issue but rather all the daily clean-up.

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and my wife went back to work

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This is the problem with modern life. Family life works better when only one person works outside the home. My wife stayed home until the last kid was in school. She cooked for the most part. I cleaned the dishes.

When the kids are old enough, have them help with meal prep and cleanup. That becomes family time.

Cook on the barbecue pit - less cleanup - and it tastes great.

Make sure you have a good dishwasher. I can fit almost twice the dishes in my new dishwasher compared to my old one.

We play this game every few weeks also. Seems like we get stuck in a rut of the same few meals. My wife and I both work and have 2 kids in elementary school. I leave the house at 5:30 am every day and get home at 5. She leaves around 7:30 and gets home at 4 most days.

We have a roughly 2 week rotation we use, we flex it based on our schedules. We usually make a weekly schedule on Sunday, and do our grocery shopping and "big" meal cooking then. I find it works a lot better if we have the menu made ahead of time rather than just winging it every night frantically trying to make a decision. I usually make some sort of rice & gravy or the wife makes a big pot of spaghetti & meatballs on Sunday, which lasts for 2 days. I will grill one night- chicken breast/porkchops, hamburgers and sausage. This usually gets us another 2 nights or so. We keep sweet potatoes stocked, seems like that is our side for every meal. If it's been a long day or we are out later than normal there is no shame in picking up a pizza or McDonald's. Sometimes "real life" just happens. Our kids don't eat everything we cook, so we always will keep nuggets, frozen pizza etc. for them to have if we eat something a little more adventurous.

We usually rotate tacos, Oak Grove jamabalaya mix, and breakfast for supper for one night a week. Weekends we eat out or have potluck (sandwiches, cereal, etc).

We use paper plates for 90% of our meals at home. Sometimes we'll even get plastic cups for the kids. Kids are notorious for drinking something, putting it in the sink, then 30 mins later dirtying another cup.

We try to clean as we go, it makes the after meal cleanup a lot easier. The wife and I will tag team it- dishes, countertops, dining table, etc. It became a lot easier once the kids can take their own baths. Usually after dinner the kids start their baths and we clean the kitchen/get lunches ready for the next day. Usually the kids are in bed around 8:30-8:45 and then we can relax for a bit. I love to see the Facebook moms bitch about their "me time"- they are so self absorbed. We know this is what we signed up for when we had kids.

Just hang in there, its not the glamorous life but as someone else said- props to you for getting 4-5 meals a week at home. I think that will be a huge benefit for you & your kids that you can't quantify. I have learned that as the kids get older things get easier physically and more stressful mentally (friends/social life/discipline).

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It feels like we’re doing this all wrong and shouldn’t be wrung out like a used towel every night of the week while still looking at a somewhat unkempt house.

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Dude, I have an almost 3 year old and a 10 month old


Its a freaking grind. The house always has stuff left out, I work from 7-5 and then the second job at home starts just like you mentioned.


No way around it, its just tough. I dont think there really is a way to make it much easier

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This is the problem with modern life. Family life works better when only one person works outside the home.

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Look, I'm old enough to (theoretically) have grandchildren. I was raised by two working parents, on homecooked meals because there was no fast food in the late 70s/early 80s in podunk Louisiana. My elderly mother had a mother who worked outside the home. For working class people, it's always taken two incomes to keep a household going. This mythical "mom at home" past was simply NOT a reality for most of us.

OP is resentful of doing basic housework. He's got a limited number of choices: 1)pay someone to do it, 2)find a task he likes better that his wife routinely does and trade jobs with her or 3)stop viewing the essential "stuff" of living as a PITA and see it as a chance to do a job well.

Unloading and loading the dishwasher is not Level 10 difficulty housekeeping. Listening to a podcast can turn what is presently an obstacle into a more pleasantly endured chore. Stop making something simple (cooking, eating, cleaning up) into something awful. The world is full of really, truly awful. Count your blessings and remember when you didn't have your own kitchen, or were scraping by on ramen and PBR.

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OP is resentful of doing basic housework. He's got a limited number of choices: 1)pay someone to do it, 2)find a task he likes better that his wife routinely does and trade jobs with her or 3)stop viewing the essential "stuff" of living as a PITA and see it as a chance to do a job well.

Unloading and loading the dishwasher is not Level 10 difficulty housekeeping. Listening to a podcast can turn what is presently an obstacle into a more pleasantly endured chore. Stop making something simple (cooking, eating, cleaning up) into something awful. The world is full of really, truly awful. Count your blessings and remember when you didn't have your own kitchen, or were scraping by on ramen and PBR.

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