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Question about relationships, economic advantage of one party, and chores

Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:08 pm
Posted by SlowFlowPro
Simple Solutions to Complex Probs
Member since Jan 2004
423384 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:08 pm
OK here is the scenario. You have a couple with an even split of household chores (just a general concept, the individual chores are irrelevant but the labor split is 50/50). One party wants to engage in a second job and use the income from that job to pay the help to hire someone to do his/her chores, and the couple will still receive excess income above the cost of this help. The other member of the couple is not capable of earning this income (let's assume he/she has restrictions on their job so they can't receive 2nd income).

Is this fair?
Posted by PearlJam
NotBeardEaves
Member since Aug 2014
13908 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:10 pm to
Relationships aren't about equity. They only thrive with a certain selflessness.

But, yes, it is fair.
Posted by GeauxTigerTM
Member since Sep 2006
30596 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:12 pm to
quote:

Is this fair?


Are you asking is it ok to pay for someone to come in and do only their own chores while the other party still has to do theirs?

Fair isn't the issue...the upcoming celibacy is.
Posted by Ash Williams
South of i-10
Member since May 2009
18153 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:13 pm to
sure its fair

Posted by fjlee90
Baton Rouge
Member since Nov 2016
7857 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:13 pm to
Looking for a maid recommendation? My Consuela is top notch.

Might wanna check with your boyfriend first, though.

Posted by Eighteen
Member since Dec 2006
33966 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:13 pm to
I find anytime you focus on “fairness” in a relationship it’s already failing. Nothing will ever be “fair”, and focusing on fairness always just leads to anger/bitterness
Posted by cajunbuck
R-KANSAS
Member since Sep 2017
997 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:13 pm to
i would think that it is more than fair. that half of the chores are still getting done, and there is additional money being brought into the household. i would think this should make both parties happy

although, if the extra cash is being spent on race cars, boats, etc. then i could see some resentment. unwarranted yes, but i could still see it
This post was edited on 6/6/18 at 12:15 pm
Posted by Count Chocula
Tier 5 and proud
Member since Feb 2009
63908 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:14 pm to
You're asking for a friend, right?
Posted by Swoopin
Member since Jun 2011
22031 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:18 pm to
I guess I'm confused that its a question.

The person taking the 2nd job has to work a 2nd job. So its not like they're working less, it just isn't on the chores they were doing... but the chores are being taken care of.
Posted by JohnnyKilroy
Cajun Navy Vice Admiral
Member since Oct 2012
35558 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:27 pm to
quote:

You have a couple with an even split of household chores (just a general concept, the individual chores are irrelevant but the labor split is 50/50).


Imo household responsibility are "split" 100/100. Both people are responsible for everything getting done. If help is hired, that means less "chores" for both people, not just the one who earned the money to hire the help.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124570 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:28 pm to
Hire maid. Bang maid.
Posted by scott8811
Ratchet City, LA
Member since Oct 2014
11392 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:31 pm to
I think this really depends on the dynamics of the relationship...but at face value...yes it's fair
Posted by dbeck
Member since Nov 2014
29453 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:34 pm to
quote:

Is this fair?

So she's going to be stripping on the side while you're doing the dishes?

Doesn't sound fair to me.
Posted by rondo
Worst. Poster. Evar.
Member since Jan 2004
77414 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:36 pm to
If they are married, the chores offset by the extra income would be split evenly

if not...the person paying the help would reap all the benefits.

IMOFWIWGFY
Posted by Open Dore Policy
The Commodore State
Member since Oct 2012
4472 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:37 pm to
You just want to bang the maid.
Posted by tgrbaitn08
Member since Dec 2007
146214 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:44 pm to
my wife pays someone to come in once a week to mop the floors, make the beds, clean the bathrooms, dust and clean countertops....just general housecleaning that she doesnt feel like doing.

My wife does the dishes, laundry, and cooks herself.

I used to pay a lawn and pool guy but I quit that and do it myself.....


So I guess you can say she pays someone to do some of her chores but we split the rest....
This post was edited on 6/6/18 at 12:45 pm
Posted by LSU Tiger Bob
South
Member since Sep 2011
3003 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:45 pm to
Dear Abby,
Posted by upgrayedd
Lifting at Tobin's house
Member since Mar 2013
134887 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:46 pm to
Depends. Who has to clean the toilets?
Posted by hawgndodge
Member since Jun 2009
4781 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:46 pm to
Relationships, and what I assume you mean to be your marriage, are never 50/50.

A marriage is 100%. You give everything you've got all the time. If you want it to last and enjoy it. If you're consistently judging the other person based on their works for you, it will fail. Guaranteed.
Posted by kissedbyfire
New Orleans
Member since Sep 2017
15 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:52 pm to
“Fair” in a relationship doesn’t exist. Everyone dies what they can and when one falls short the other picks up the slack.
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