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Message
Single folks: how are you content being alone?
Posted on 2/25/25 at 2:56 pm
Posted on 2/25/25 at 2:56 pm
I’ve struggled with this most of my adult life. Before marriage, after divorce. I have my hobbies, but I’ve always thrived knowing someone else gave a shite about me in that way. I’ve recently started sabotaging any potential relationships (there’s not many anyway) I could possibly come across. The only conclusion I can come to is that I’m the problem.
I’m too open and available emotionally, physically, whatever. An attractive girl shows interest and I want to latch on. The story is always the same. They’ll text frequently, open up about things, discussions will be great. A couple weeks later, the communication tapers off. I’ll be left on “read”. I feel intrusive, bothersome, and everything seemingly changes overnight. Usually I’ll call it out, say some bullshite about how this wouldn’t work anyway, and be on my way to frick up the next one.
Clearly, I’m the problem. I don’t play the game well enough. I’ve always been a nice guy, so I have that against me. I had a brief window in my life where I was fine being the single guy and smashing whatever girl from the bar was down. I don’t know how to get back to that. I feel almost defective.
I do get out of the house and mingle with friends, play golf, etc. None of it is fulfilling anymore. I’m not sure it ever was. I’m trapped in this life for the one person that truly depends on me. I’m forced to live in solitude and misery, barring some tragic accident that I would almost welcome at this point.
I’m too open and available emotionally, physically, whatever. An attractive girl shows interest and I want to latch on. The story is always the same. They’ll text frequently, open up about things, discussions will be great. A couple weeks later, the communication tapers off. I’ll be left on “read”. I feel intrusive, bothersome, and everything seemingly changes overnight. Usually I’ll call it out, say some bullshite about how this wouldn’t work anyway, and be on my way to frick up the next one.
Clearly, I’m the problem. I don’t play the game well enough. I’ve always been a nice guy, so I have that against me. I had a brief window in my life where I was fine being the single guy and smashing whatever girl from the bar was down. I don’t know how to get back to that. I feel almost defective.
I do get out of the house and mingle with friends, play golf, etc. None of it is fulfilling anymore. I’m not sure it ever was. I’m trapped in this life for the one person that truly depends on me. I’m forced to live in solitude and misery, barring some tragic accident that I would almost welcome at this point.
Posted on 2/25/25 at 2:57 pm to TexasTiger08
Betterhelp.com
Promo code: tigerdroppings
Promo code: tigerdroppings
Posted on 2/25/25 at 2:58 pm to TexasTiger08
quote:
I’m forced to live in solitude and misery, barring some tragic accident that I would almost welcome at this point.
Start by not sulking and feeling bad for yourself. Go volunteer at a children’s hospital if you need some perspective.
Posted on 2/25/25 at 2:58 pm to TexasTiger08
Not reading all that...enjoy being single...go bang some strange...quit feeling sorry for yourself.
Posted on 2/25/25 at 2:58 pm to TexasTiger08
I don't like being around most people
Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:00 pm to TexasTiger08
You ever find out if that kid is actually yours?
IIRC your wife was cheating on you for some time, yet you were very hesitant to get a paternity test after finding out your cheating wife was pregnant.
IIRC your wife was cheating on you for some time, yet you were very hesitant to get a paternity test after finding out your cheating wife was pregnant.
Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:00 pm to TexasTiger08
quote:
had a brief window in my life where I was fine being the single guy and smashing whatever girl from the bar was down. I don’t know how to get back to that. I feel almost defective.
I do get out of the house and mingle with friends, play golf, etc. None of it is fulfilling anymore
Get your testosterone checked.
Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:00 pm to TexasTiger08
Get a hooker and just destroy her. Then find some hobbies.
Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:03 pm to TexasTiger08
Dude, you’ve got to stop being whiny. That is the single most unattractive thing you can do.
Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:03 pm to TexasTiger08
I love being single and free. I think it’s a mindset thing though.
Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:03 pm to TexasTiger08
quote:
I’m too open and available emotionally, physically, whatever. An attractive girl shows interest and I want to latch on. The story is always the same. They’ll text frequently, open up about things, discussions will be great. A couple weeks later, the communication tapers off. I’ll be left on “read”. I feel intrusive, bothersome, and everything seemingly changes overnight.
Yeeeeeah. Some women will claim they like guys like this, but it's a boner killer for most of us. Sorry.

Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:04 pm to TexasTiger08
Can go where I want, when I want, with who I want, for however long I want.
Peace and quiet at home after work.
Can sleep in whenever I want and go to bed whenever I want.
Can travel wherever and whenever for however long I want
Just to name a few
Peace and quiet at home after work.
Can sleep in whenever I want and go to bed whenever I want.
Can travel wherever and whenever for however long I want
Just to name a few
Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:04 pm to TexasTiger08
do the opposite of what you would with the next woman you meet
Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:05 pm to TexasTiger08
quote:
Clearly, I’m the problem. I don’t play the game well enough. I’ve always been a nice guy, so I have that against me.
didn't your wife leave/cheat on you because you were a belligerent alcoholic and would embarrass her at social gatherings?
I think that was you
Its so hard to keep up with all the bitter, sad, divorced guy stories around here
Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:05 pm to TexasTiger08
quote:
I feel almost defective.
You’re not. This is a skills issue. You’ve already identified the problem. You just need someone to help you develop healthy attachment styles so you can have good relationships.
Easy? Heck no. Simple? I think so.
Start with this one:
quote:
I’m trapped in this life for the one person that truly depends on me.
Assuming this is a kid, you can’t put that burden on him/her. You have to be good for yourself before you can be any good to anyone else. You’re worth that and you have to get to where you believe that.
Rooting for you brother, it’s not hopeless and you’re not broken.

Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:05 pm to JohnnyKilroy
quote:
You ever find out if that kid is actually yours?
IIRC your wife was cheating on you for some time, yet you were very hesitant to get a paternity test after finding out your cheating wife was pregnant.
yikes
Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:05 pm to TexasTiger08
Get a more difficult job. You'll be too tired at the end of the day to worry about any of that.
Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:05 pm to LSUguy2023
Want a friend? Get a dog
Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:06 pm to TexasTiger08
quote:
I’ve always been a nice guy, so I have that against me.
Eh. A lot of people in your situation seem to conflate being a secure man with confidence with being an a-hole. Lots of attractive, confident guys that aren't clingy are also nice guys.
Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:06 pm to TexasTiger08
Get a dog. They're more loyal and considerably less expensive lol
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