Fathers that always look at the negatives; never give praise

My father drank. He womanized. Made outrageous claims that he invented the question mark. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds. Standard really.

Mine was different. I could tell him I just won the Olympic gold in whatever sport and he would barely listen and then tell me about the fish he caught last weekend.

Daddy left home when I was three he didn’t leave much for maw and me

quote:

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Daddy left home when I was three he didn’t leave much for maw and me

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My Daddy died when I was three, and Mama never bounced me on her knee.

I look back at texts my dad has sent me over the past 8 months or so and they are negative, berating, caustic to a one.

Either chewing me out after misunderstanding or misreading something, or being pissed at me because of what someone else did, or just...just fricking mean.


I realize that I have always wanted something from my dad that I will never ever get. He's never gonna be someone I can turn to for honest guidance, or just someone to turn to.


I mean I love my dad, but I don't like him, because he just doesn't like me. You'd think after losing one son he'd cherish the rest of his kids more but it just made him more bitter and mean.

He's not a bad man by any stretch, but he his a mean man, and it drives everyone who cares about him away. It sucks. Makes me never want to be that way for my kids

My dad was a tough task master. He was also extremely smart and an extremely hard worker. I was far more supportive with my kids, but each kid is different, and you have to try different things to raise them right.

I need to give more praise

i very rarely heard i'm proud of you, despite always having top grades, having athletic success in every sport i played, etc...

My pops (he just passed) cme from a rough upbringing. His dad was a drunk. He knocked him out at 13 and had to move out. Still went back in the evenings to make sure he didn't beat on anyone else and would stay till his dad passed out.

So we grew up pretty awesome. He never hit us. Told us he loved us every day. Actually listened to what we said. He suffered for years with a bad back and was out of work since his mid 40s. It was hard but he was like a stay at hoke dad and was a world class cook.

In the end it was a blessing for us kids.

I support my kids. I do have to be hard on my 2nd kid due to motivation and I don't want him to grow up soft and get pushed around. He's giant at 12 and will be a target. I alway was due to my size.

After listening to a podcast I try to stop saying I'm proud of them. Pride is a sin. God introduced his Son as who he was well pleased with.

Try to say I'm pleased with them when they do something good.

Looking back on Dad's life especially recently and realizing how lucky we were and it strengthens me. Seeing him suffer and still do things with us helps me keep going. I had a major life changing surgery that makes day to day things and hunting and fishing and coaching so much more difficult and taxing. Seeing him do it I know I can keep going.

I always praise my kids when I know they gave good effort and did their best.

If they made a B and didn’t study to try for an A, I definitely would not praise them.

Same with sports. I praised more the effort than the results.