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re: Question for OT Parents with older kids
Posted on 3/27/24 at 3:19 pm to SaintlyTiger88
Posted on 3/27/24 at 3:19 pm to SaintlyTiger88
Son just turned 24. Graduated in ‘22 and has been employed since then by a small company. He lives on his own pays all of his own bills, but he is still on our health insurance. His company offers it, but our plan is better and cheaper.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 3:23 pm to SaintlyTiger88
Our oldest turns 22 and graduates college in May. He's already accepted a job that starts a week after graduation. He knows that starting July 1 he's off our auto insurance and the phone bill is his. He has a paid for car, already a place to stay, and job lined up. Of course I'd help if any emergency came up but he's on his own.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 3:30 pm to SaintlyTiger88
quote:
I have a question for the OT parents with kids in their 20’s and 30’s. I recently read an article that supposedly claimed that half of parents in the United States support their adult children financially. There seems to be a lot of people saying that these adult children either still live with their parents in their 20’s and beyond, or they live away, but their parents pay most of their bills.
Have any of you dealt with or encountered this with your kids? Do you feel this has become the norm in America?
My 25 year old is struggling a little right now. He is single and lives with us. This is actually fine because I am gone half the time so his mom feels better having him there instead of being alone in the house. He is also probably about to get a job offer that will substrantially change his situation and will start covering all his own expenses. This is short term only.
I have two kids closer to 40 and only occasionally have had to help them out. My youngest is in grad school now and is still on the dime at 23 but she will go off that in December, she's already had job offers from places she has interned so I doubt she will be on our nickle very long after school.
Fortunately for me, I am in a position with the younger one to help them out some, I was not yet when the older ones went out on their own.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 3:46 pm to SaintlyTiger88
It seems that more kids are moving out as soon as they graduate college, based on what I’ve read from this thread. Not seeing many comments about kids still living with their parents after graduation. I saw a statistic that said that like 50% of all Gen Z graduates are still living with their parents after college
Posted on 3/27/24 at 3:47 pm to SaintlyTiger88
I have 4 adult kids. I have never given any of them one dime since they left home after high school. (I paid insurance and phone for oldest while in college) I would help if they asked, but they are all like me and would have to be damn near dead to ask.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 3:52 pm to Tantal
quote:have they gotten better or are they still lazy as shite
My oldest two (21 and 24) were given the option to live at home while attending JUCO, then I'd pay for them to finish at a 4 year university. I gave them the same option for trade school or computer certifications. Neither of them wanted to do that, so they were told to GTFO. Adult children can only live in my house if they're actively working on bettering themselves through education and training. They thought that they could just work some part-time menial jobs while living for free in my house, eating my food, and screwing around online. Nope.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 3:52 pm to chryso
quote:
Why would I have them pay for health insurance
Uh, because he's an adult? Just because Obamacare made it OK to keep them on your insurance doesn't mean it's a good idea. Are you contributing to his 401(k) on his behalf too?
One of my filthy rich friends sent his kid to {expensive arse private school in TX}. The boy graduated and was moving into an apartment. Both of our families (excluding the boy) were on a vacation in Spain, when the boy called dad to ask which internet plan he should sign up for, at the age of 22/23. Part of being an adult is making a mistake, and learning from it.
Modern women, for the most part, have pushed dependency on our kids, and men do the "it's cheaper to have one additional line on our plan," math to attempt to justify it.
When you're in early adulthood, your mistakes aren't very expensive. Do you want them to wait to learn lessons on how to set up auto bill pay when they have a mortgage and a kid? Downvote away.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 3:53 pm to SaintlyTiger88
26 yr old is self sufficient and paid for her own grad school. 24 year old is mostly self sufficient but we make him small loans from time to time and have forgiven some loans because he took a full ride scholarship to college. We pay college expenses for 20 yr old and give him $600 a month for food/social. Anything else he spends his own money. All are on our cell phone plan bc it does not cost us extra for them.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 3:53 pm to SaintlyTiger88
I moved out at 18. However, we were much more optimistic about our financial potential then. If my kids want to live at home so they can save money and build a foundation for themselves and a future family, why wouldn’t I let them? What’s the point of struggling to barely make rent on a shitty studio apartment and never get anywhere? Stay home, save your money and work towards your goals.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 3:58 pm to SaintlyTiger88
I'm OK if they want to live at home in their 20s, as long as they are either in school or working to get their careers going.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 3:58 pm to SaintlyTiger88
We cover cell phone, truck insurance & repairs & sometimes gas for stepson
He’s in engineering at LSU & as long as he stays in school we will help him as much as possible.
We do not cover rent or his household bills
ETA
We would absolutely help if asked (within reason)
He’s in engineering at LSU & as long as he stays in school we will help him as much as possible.
We do not cover rent or his household bills
ETA
We would absolutely help if asked (within reason)
This post was edited on 3/27/24 at 4:13 pm
Posted on 3/27/24 at 4:04 pm to SaintlyTiger88
All the people in this thread making their kids pay for their cell phones or room/board if they live at home are weird.
I have two in their mid 20s that are on their own. I don't give them anything, except they are on my cell plan. I have one still in college, I pay just about everything for him.
I can't imagine asking them to pay me back for a monthly cell bill. Seems petty.
I also can't imagine asking my daughter to pay rent when she lived with us for a short time before grad school.
I have two in their mid 20s that are on their own. I don't give them anything, except they are on my cell plan. I have one still in college, I pay just about everything for him.
I can't imagine asking them to pay me back for a monthly cell bill. Seems petty.
I also can't imagine asking my daughter to pay rent when she lived with us for a short time before grad school.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 4:07 pm to Iowatiger209
quote:
The 21 year old has been married 2 and a half years, and has a 14 month old daughter. Her husband was way more prepared financially to get married than I was at his age. While they still don’t make a ton of money, they pay their own bills, have bought a house, and live entirely on their own.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 4:08 pm to SaintlyTiger88
quote:
I have a question for the OT parents with kids in their 20’s and 30’s. I recently read an article that supposedly claimed that half of parents in the United States support their adult children financially. There seems to be a lot of people saying that these adult children either still live with their parents in their 20’s and beyond, or they live away, but their parents pay most of their bills.
Have any of you dealt with or encountered this with your kids? Do you feel this has become the norm in America?
Absolutely true. Its what is breaking America. The kids go out and run up debt wanting everything now instead of working to get things gradually. Self gratification has to be now so the plus 60 group is dipping in retirement to front on their childrens debt.
Im glad my parents did not raise me and my siblings like this. We still dont get anything from my parents but none of us need it because the work was put in.
Sad to see but families will fall while others will rise.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 4:09 pm to SaintlyTiger88
My company (that I own) pays for their cell phones. They pay for everything else. Daughter is 27 and son is 25.
My son is still on my insurance which is through my wifes job. Her job covers her and me. Adding our son costs us $28 a month for BCBS. Thats a no brainer.
If something catastrophic happened and they needed my help I would gladly give it but they would both hate to have to ask. They have been independent since high school. Had scholarships for college and worked part time to pay for apartment and utilities.
My son is still on my insurance which is through my wifes job. Her job covers her and me. Adding our son costs us $28 a month for BCBS. Thats a no brainer.
If something catastrophic happened and they needed my help I would gladly give it but they would both hate to have to ask. They have been independent since high school. Had scholarships for college and worked part time to pay for apartment and utilities.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 4:11 pm to CAT
quote:
Our oldest turns 22 and graduates college in May. He's already accepted a job that starts a week after graduation. He knows that starting July 1 he's off our auto insurance and the phone bill is his. He has a paid for car, already a place to stay, and job lined up. Of course I'd help if any emergency came up but he's on his own.
You raised a man.
Love seeing these types of stories.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 4:11 pm to Bjorn Cyborg
I think the big difference is if they are in school or not
I have a family member that decided they no longer wanted to be an engineer so he quit school, moved back home & has a part time job. His mom told me that other than the few days he works he stays home & plays video games.
She’s paying his insurance, gas & cell phone bill, I told her to start charging him rent, he’s 23 & has no motivation to find a full time job or go back to school.
I have a family member that decided they no longer wanted to be an engineer so he quit school, moved back home & has a part time job. His mom told me that other than the few days he works he stays home & plays video games.
She’s paying his insurance, gas & cell phone bill, I told her to start charging him rent, he’s 23 & has no motivation to find a full time job or go back to school.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 4:12 pm to LSUJML
Agreed. The direction they are going is important.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 4:22 pm to SaintlyTiger88
I'm helping mine as much as I can (which is nowhere near the extent or scale I've seen from others in this thread) because I'm going to need their help when I'm older (if I make it that long). They know it and are fine with it.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 4:24 pm to SaintlyTiger88
23 yr old still on the dole. In post-graduate school so we pay for everything. We figured it was better to pay everything than have him saddled with debit (student loans) that is nearly impossible to repay and have to support later or help repay.
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