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re: Living With Your SO Before Marriage. Smart or Sin?
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:59 am to BhamBlazeDog
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:59 am to BhamBlazeDog
quote:We had two apartments in the same complex, to placate the parents. My fiancé thought it was unnecessary, but I assured her that my dad was going to check and verify my apartment (which he did). My out of town friends liked it because my apartment was always open for occupants. Different times. We didn't bat an eye when our kids moved in with their S.O.'s.
I'm Catholic & Italian, so it wouldn't have just been sin, I would have been kicked out of the family.
1
Posted on 3/8/22 at 11:00 am to PropofolPapi
Didn't with wife #1 (no pics). Divorced within 5 years.
Did with wife #2 (still no pics). Celebrating 15 years in November.
Draw your own conclusions...
Did with wife #2 (still no pics). Celebrating 15 years in November.
Draw your own conclusions...
Posted on 3/8/22 at 11:00 am to PropofolPapi
Are all of the people saying NO to living with before marriage abstaining from sex as well? If not that's pretty dumb.
Posted on 3/8/22 at 11:02 am to PropofolPapi
Posted on 3/8/22 at 11:03 am to PropofolPapi
Yes
Posted on 3/8/22 at 11:05 am to tommy2tone1999
quote:i don't actually know him or his life... but i will say actions speak louder than platitudes IMO
quote:
Salmon
quote:
a family oriented social conservative
Posted on 3/8/22 at 11:06 am to Salmon
quote:
I don't have any qualms with couples moving in together and whether or not it leads to divorce, as I think other variable play a more important role in the outcomes of marriage
Yeah.. I get why people say living together is a must, and I live with my SO myself.. but I don't think living together is THAT important in all situations. I think it depends on the specific people in question. For us, we knew what living together was like long before it was official because my apartment essentially sat empty when I had one.
Posted on 3/8/22 at 11:07 am to The Spleen
quote:
Ah, yes, 1922. When the only grounds for divorce was adultery, except in rare cases, and women had few rights in the matter.
Go back to your soy milk. The men are talking.
Posted on 3/8/22 at 11:08 am to PropofolPapi
I laughed in the priest’s face when he told my fiancée (now wife) that we needed to find separate living arrangements until after the wedding.
They wonder why young people are leaving the church in droves.
They wonder why young people are leaving the church in droves.
Posted on 3/8/22 at 11:09 am to Cajun367
quote:
Living in together is the only way to get the full perspective of who a person truly is.
You'll see how an argument is radically different when you cant "escape" to your own home base.
This.
A fight when you're living togerher is a completely different dynamic than fighting and living apart.
You have nowhere to escape to, you can't just take a few days off, and you're forced to work through it (or ultimately break up). It's a true test of a couple's strength, maturity, and viability for marriage.
Posted on 3/8/22 at 11:09 am to Cajun367
quote:Great advice!
Crazy is easy to hide for a couple days at a time, which is usually the longest people who don't live together will be in the same company. Living in together is the only way to get the full perspective of who a person truly is.
You'll see how an argument is radically different when you cant "escape" to your own home base.
Add to the list of "must dos before you do":
-attend multiple family gatherings (both sides) and really focus on things they said AFTER.
-watch them interact with non family pets/children
Also, you get to unearth finances and you'll know before hand how much debt each brings into the marriage. You'll get a test run on paying bills together, saving money and you'll see each others spending habits.
Money "issues" have to be at the top of the list of problems between a couple. It's important to know early on if you are about to assume massive student loans or credit card debt when you marry.
Posted on 3/8/22 at 11:09 am to LSUBoo
The idea that so many posters think buying a car and getting married are the same might explain the divorces.
Posted on 3/8/22 at 11:17 am to chryso
quote:
The idea that so many posters think buying a car and getting married are the same might explain the divorces.
Posted on 3/8/22 at 11:19 am to PropofolPapi
quote:
terrible sin to live under the same roof with my lady before making the commitment of marriage before God.
If you want to live in the 1950’s, head on down to Cuba.
Posted on 3/8/22 at 11:20 am to chryso
quote:
The idea that so many posters think buying a car and getting married are the same might explain the divorces.
It's exactly the same thing.
A 3-10 commitment after which you trade in for a newer model when the first one starts to make too much noise.
Posted on 3/8/22 at 11:21 am to Displaced
quote:
It's exactly the same thing.
A 3-10 commitment after which you trade in for a newer model when the first one starts to make too much noise.
And he thinks I'm the moron...
Posted on 3/8/22 at 11:23 am to tommy2tone1999
I mean...you don't understand rates, nor obvious jokes, so 
Posted on 3/8/22 at 11:23 am to PropofolPapi
If both parties are financially independent, emotionally matured, and honest with each other it can work. Without all three, it can quickly turn into a dependency issue where on person stays in because of the financial or emotional support. Long term, resentment builds on both side and it’s all toxic.
Same goes for a marriage, which is a formalize living arrangement.
Posted on 3/8/22 at 11:24 am to Salmon
quote:
I mean...you don't understand rates, nor obvious jokes, so
Says the guy who doesn't understand the simple laws of actions and consequences.
Posted on 3/8/22 at 11:27 am to tommy2tone1999
explain it to me like I'm 5, tommy
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