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re: Living With Your SO Before Marriage. Smart or Sin?
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:20 am to PropofolPapi
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:20 am to PropofolPapi
Despite the common belief that cohabitation decreases the risk of divorce, the opposite is actually the case. The numbers don't lie.
Psychology Today - 2021
quote:
Cohabitation may confer "short-term benefits" in the sense that divorce risk is lower for these couples right after the wedding (within the first 6 months) and slightly lower in the subsequent 6 months. During that initial year, couples that did not live together first are at higher risk for divorce. Maybe cohabitators have less of an abrupt transition after marriage, and this gives them an initial advantage. However, the tide turns after that first year, and people who cohabitated before marriage end up having elevated risk relative to those who did not.
Psychology Today - 2021
0
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:20 am to DesScorp
quote:
And what are the divorce rates in 2022 compared to 1922.
Ah, yes, 1922. When the only grounds for divorce was adultery, except in rare cases, and women had few rights in the matter.
I
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:21 am to DesScorp
quote:
And what are the divorce rates in 2022 compared to 1922.
We’re in a failing, decaying culture, and y’all’s advice is “Yeah, double down on that”.
You mean when women didn’t have the means or the ability to leave a marriage on their own volition? Interesting to use that timeframe knowing that.
Living together before marriage and not hastily jumping into one isn’t tearing down anyone’s culture.
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:23 am to PropofolPapi
Yes its a sin. I mean, yall can spend as much time together as you want, but don't you dare go to sleep under the same roof every night.
You gotta test drive the car before you buy it.
You gotta test drive the car before you buy it.
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:24 am to PropofolPapi
Don't know, jut don't eat fish on Fridays.
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:26 am to PropofolPapi
Don’t really have an opinion either way, I have anecdotal stories that support both sides of the argument, BUT, based on research I did going through my divorce, statistically marriages with no cohabitation prior have higher success rates, now that was numbers 14 years ago, don’t know if they’ve held up, was surprised to learn that at the time.
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:27 am to OweO
quote:
Yes its a sin. I mean, yall can spend as much time together as you want, but don't you dare go to sleep under the same roof every night.
quote:Is that the reason you haven't lived with a girlfriend?
OweO
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:28 am to PropofolPapi
We did it w/o my parents blessing, but I'm glad we did. Everybody is cool now. Helps build communication, and know habits good and bad. Also that you can just be together 24-7. Times are different people are too quick to give up on each other now.
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:28 am to Salmon
quote:
divorce rates are at a 50 year low
Because marriage rates are also at a low.
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:29 am to PropofolPapi
My wife (no Pics) didn't want to move in together before we were married, so she just spent damn near every night over at my place while I paid all the bills. She still lived with her parents, so no chance of me staying at her place. We talked about the ridiculousness of it, but she kept making the statement about her mom being old school. I told her if she was worried about what her mom would say, just hand her mom a sack of stones and tell her to start casting them when/if she's qualified.
Few years after we were married, her mom made a comment about how she was surprised we didn't live together before marriage. I told her the sack of stone comment I made and I thought her parents were going to stroke out they laughed so hard
Few years after we were married, her mom made a comment about how she was surprised we didn't live together before marriage. I told her the sack of stone comment I made and I thought her parents were going to stroke out they laughed so hard
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:29 am to PropofolPapi
this is one of those things where i think both sides have a pretty solid argument
ben shapiro on JRE explained the conservative side pretty well
ben shapiro on JRE explained the conservative side pretty well
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:29 am to tommy2tone1999
quote:
Because marriage rates are also at a low.
do you understand how rates work?
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:30 am to PropofolPapi
The divorce rates for couples who live together before getting married are drastically lower than those that do not
Learned this years ago. I do not believe any study any of you have linked. It makes complete logical sense, so you can frick off.
Learned this years ago. I do not believe any study any of you have linked. It makes complete logical sense, so you can frick off.
This post was edited on 3/8/22 at 10:32 am
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:32 am to GreatLakesTiger24
the study linked earlier in this thread had a good point about cohabiting before marriage and why it could lead to divorce
once you move in together, its harder for the couple to break up due to the commitment they have made, so couples that otherwise would have just broke up during the dating period, try to stick it out (they call this the "inertia affect), but ultimately they are just not compatible and end up divorcing
makes sense
once you move in together, its harder for the couple to break up due to the commitment they have made, so couples that otherwise would have just broke up during the dating period, try to stick it out (they call this the "inertia affect), but ultimately they are just not compatible and end up divorcing
makes sense
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:32 am to PropofolPapi
quote:
I have seen countless friends end up in a divorce two to three years into their marriage because they realize they just don’t like each other or can’t compromise on anything
nobody likes each other all the time. you have to stick it out because you made a vow to do so. we've become a culture of quitters who won't deal with adversity.
personally, i think it's better if you don't, because it leaves something for the imagination, and part of being married is discovering everything about the other person. but, if you're already intimate, then it really doesn't matter as much as it would otherwise.
at the end of the day, it comes down to whether or not both of you are willing to stick it out.
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:33 am to Salmon
quote:
do you understand how rates work?
Do you understand, that there can't be a divorce, if there isn't a marriage? Fewer marriages, means fewer divorces...
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:34 am to PropofolPapi
First marriage, lived together for a year, marriage lasted less time than that. Second marriage, never lived together before marriage, lived apart first three years of marriage, been married seventeen years, together for twenty-four. I am inclined to say that waiting until marriage to live together is better for the relationship.
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:34 am to Kadjin
quote:
BUT, based on research I did going through my divorce, statistically marriages with no cohabitation prior have higher success rates, now that was numbers 14 years ago, don’t know if they’ve held up, was surprised to learn that at the time.
I think that has to do with the fact that those who choose not to live together prior to marriage are likely more religiously inclined anyway and less likely to get divorced regardless of marital happiness.
Posted on 3/8/22 at 10:34 am to YumYum Sauce
quote:
The divorce rates for couples who live together before getting married are drastically lower than those that do not
Learned this years ago. I do not believe any study any of you have linked. It makes complete logical sense, so you can frick off.
Show us the numbers to back that up please
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