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re: You find out some dude is texting your SO? Update in OP
Posted on 2/14/19 at 7:53 am to PortHudsonPlaya
Posted on 2/14/19 at 7:53 am to PortHudsonPlaya
I'd be fricking pissed if she was texting an ex who is sending flirting texts, regardless of what she sends back.
0
Posted on 2/14/19 at 7:59 am to PortHudsonPlaya
quote:
UPDATE: couldn’t stand it anymore so brought it up last night. Apparently ‘Joe’ is an ex from several years ago that will get desperately drunk (she thinks) and text her on random occasionas still but that’s where it ends. She responds, but doesn’t see the need to be rude or confrontational about it. Happens a handful of times a year. He lives in another city (where she moved here from) and she has no plans whatsoever to ever see him again. I didn’t agree with even entertaining his text, but she seemed pretty responsive and non confrontational about it. The text were a lot more flirty on his end than hers like already mentioned. Didn’t even bring up me looking through her phone. I did express that I wasn’t that comfortable with it but didn’t make it a bigger deal than it was. Sorry this is sort of anti-climactic for the OT. This does make me want to somehow keep an eye out for a while to verify, but I’m just not that sorta guy.
So did you tell them both that you have Herpes or not?
This post was edited on 2/14/19 at 8:00 am
Posted on 2/14/19 at 8:02 am to PortHudsonPlaya
So, no pics?
Posted on 2/14/19 at 8:05 am to PortHudsonPlaya
quote:
UPDATE: couldn’t stand it anymore so brought it up last night. Apparently ‘Joe’ is an ex from several years ago that will get desperately drunk (she thinks) and text her on random occasionas still but that’s where it ends. She responds, but doesn’t see the need to be rude or confrontational about it. Happens a handful of times a year. He lives in another city (where she moved here from) and she has no plans whatsoever to ever see him again. I didn’t agree with even entertaining his text, but she seemed pretty responsive and non confrontational about it. The text were a lot more flirty on his end than hers like already mentioned. Didn’t even bring up me looking through her phone. I did express that I wasn’t that comfortable with it but didn’t make it a bigger deal than it was. Sorry this is sort of anti-climactic for the OT. This does make me want to somehow keep an eye out for a while to verify, but I’m just not that sorta guy.
This literally never ends well. She entertains it for a reason, and that reason is most likely bad. She has the power to stop the contact completely if she wants to. And if she cares at all about you and your relationship, she would.
There is a difference between "keeping up" with people from your past, but this sounds like more than that. Especially when you see the nature of his texts and the fact that she isn't telling him to cut that shite out.
I applaud you for trying to be cool about it, but it's okay to not think that is okay. And I have a feeling it will end badly for you. Hope I'm wrong though.
Posted on 2/14/19 at 8:09 am to PortHudsonPlaya
quote:
The text were a lot more flirty on his end
If she was responding with short answers to platonic texts, I wouldn't feel right about it but I wouldn't get mad. The flirting part makes it a lot worse. If she keeps entertaining that after telling him she's not single, that's a slap in your face. You need to tell her that's either going to end or you're out.
Posted on 2/14/19 at 8:13 am to PortHudsonPlaya
quote:
This does make me want to somehow keep an eye out for a while to verify, but I’m just not that sorta
Yes you are. You went through her phone. If you weren't "that sorta guy," and you really just saw a message pop up on accident, you would have just stopped there and asked her about it. Instead, you went through her phone. So you certainly are that sorta guy.
Posted on 2/14/19 at 8:15 am to PortHudsonPlaya
So now you are in the worst possible spot.
You can dump her immediately and lose the chance that she really loves you.
You can continue noncomitally but always watching for signs with a jealousy that will eat you up.
Or you can take her at her word and fully trust her.
I can tell you the OT would say take Door number one. If you take door number two, you are prolonging the inevitable. Door number three ain’t easy once you know what you know.
So it’s up to you. No easy answer here.
You can dump her immediately and lose the chance that she really loves you.
You can continue noncomitally but always watching for signs with a jealousy that will eat you up.
Or you can take her at her word and fully trust her.
I can tell you the OT would say take Door number one. If you take door number two, you are prolonging the inevitable. Door number three ain’t easy once you know what you know.
So it’s up to you. No easy answer here.
Posted on 2/14/19 at 8:16 am to PortHudsonPlaya
well, the good thing is you can save money on Valentine's Day.
Posted on 2/14/19 at 8:19 am to PortHudsonPlaya
If she truly cared about you and ya'lls relationship, she'd cut contact with him and delete all info; maybe even send one more text saying this is over- go find another chick to drunk text. But for her and you to act like it's ok is really weird and your blood will boil over time.
Posted on 2/14/19 at 8:21 am to PortHudsonPlaya
quote:
UPDATE: couldn’t stand it anymore so brought it up last night. Apparently ‘Joe’ is an ex from several years ago that will get desperately drunk (she thinks) and text her on random occasionas still but that’s where it ends. She responds, but doesn’t see the need to be rude or confrontational about it. Happens a handful of times a year.
This is what I would do:
The next time her phone is available to you (without her knowing), just get on it and BLOCK his number. Since it only happens a few times a year, it shouldn't be a big deal to her.
Posted on 2/14/19 at 8:25 am to PortHudsonPlaya
She's talking to him because he has something you don't give her. Whatever it is, she's reciprocating the texts. She's spending that time talking to him, and that's time she's not talking to you. She's also thinking about their past. What do you think they are hoping to get out of drunk texts? I've never drunk texted a chick I didn't want to, or wasn't already having sex with.
My gfs don't talk to their exes, but I'm not insecure enough to monitor their phone conversations. If you're checking her phone, yall have problems already. They're also probably scared I'd find the guy and make him stop texting.
Funny thing about women is that they only remember the negative things while you're in the relationship, but they remember the positive ones after
My gfs don't talk to their exes, but I'm not insecure enough to monitor their phone conversations. If you're checking her phone, yall have problems already. They're also probably scared I'd find the guy and make him stop texting.
Funny thing about women is that they only remember the negative things while you're in the relationship, but they remember the positive ones after
This post was edited on 2/14/19 at 8:29 am
Posted on 2/14/19 at 8:26 am to PortHudsonPlaya
quote:
Happens a handful of times a year.
And you just happened to be in the right place at the right time for this rarity? Ok bro.
Posted on 2/14/19 at 8:29 am to PortHudsonPlaya
quote:
Apparently ‘Joe’ is an ex from several years ago that will get desperately drunk (she thinks) and text her on random occasionas still but that’s where it ends. She responds, but doesn’t see the need to be rude or confrontational about it.
Posted on 2/14/19 at 8:35 am to Tortious
I want to go full troll on this but instead let me give you sound advice from someone who has been on both ends of this.
Politely but firmly let her know your not comfortable with this and ask her to end it. There is no upside for her to continue, there is quite a bit of downside. If you are firm and honest about this she should have no problem ending it. If she fights it you probably have problems.
Oh and you might want to take down the number so you can check it in case she simply changes the contact name.
Politely but firmly let her know your not comfortable with this and ask her to end it. There is no upside for her to continue, there is quite a bit of downside. If you are firm and honest about this she should have no problem ending it. If she fights it you probably have problems.
Oh and you might want to take down the number so you can check it in case she simply changes the contact name.
Posted on 2/14/19 at 8:37 am to PortHudsonPlaya
After reading that update, she's probably not boning the dude, but you better believe the first time you frick up she'll be fricking the dude the next day.
Posted on 2/14/19 at 8:38 am to Ed Osteen
My wife saw a text pop up on my phone from an unknown number once. She didn’t say anything to me at first. I had no idea who it was. My wife had accused me of cheating on her while I was at work. Tried to explain it to her that she had it all wrong. But the text that was sent was obviously a sexting attempt. I was asleep at the time of the sext. My wife called the number a few days later to confront the caller. Was a lady from Maine that accidentally texted the wrong number.
Posted on 2/14/19 at 8:39 am to PortHudsonPlaya
quote:
Apparently ‘Joe’ is an ex from several years ago that will get desperately drunk (she thinks) and text her on random occasionas still but that’s where it ends. She responds, but doesn’t see the need to be rude or confrontational about it.
That's pretty disrespectful towards you. Maybe she doesn't realize it though. She probably wouldn't be happy if the roles were reversed and your ex was texting you. All she has to tell this guy is that it's not appropriate for him to text her anymore. If he continues then she should block his number.
Posted on 2/14/19 at 8:43 am to Pahnew
He is also full of it. He posted not long ago about trying to pick up some shorty from the gym
Posted on 2/14/19 at 8:43 am to PortHudsonPlaya
The fact that she replied at all means she likes still being on his mind and doesn't want the texts to stop. frick that . Tell her to knock it off or walk away.
Posted on 2/14/19 at 8:44 am to PortHudsonPlaya
quote:
couldn’t stand it anymore so brought it up last night. Apparently ‘Joe’ is an ex from several years ago that will get desperately drunk (she thinks) and text her on random occasionas still but that’s where it ends. She responds, but doesn’t see the need to be rude or confrontational about it. Happens a handful of times a year. He lives in another city (where she moved here from) and she has no plans whatsoever to ever see him again. I didn’t agree with even entertaining his text, but she seemed pretty responsive and non confrontational about it. The text were a lot more flirty on his end than hers like already mentioned. Didn’t even bring up me looking through her phone. I did express that I wasn’t that comfortable with it but didn’t make it a bigger deal than it was. Sorry this is sort of anti-climactic for the OT. This does make me want to somehow keep an eye out for a while to verify, but I’m just not that sorta guy.
Son I am disappoint. I told you not to say anything. If she's not talking to any other dudes right now it's only because none are trying to bang her. She'll cheat on you in a couple years.
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