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re: Would your fiancé not taking your last name be a deal breaker?
Posted on 11/25/22 at 6:00 am to ArmyHogs
Posted on 11/25/22 at 6:00 am to ArmyHogs
Not at all.
I told my wife she didn't need to change her name if she didn't feel like it. Especially after I read what she had to do to change everything over. It was kind of a lot.
She wanted to change the name, so she did. If it's a deal breaker, y'all should be on the same page about that before the wedding.
Also, to the poster saying if she doesn't want to take my name she obviously doesn't need my help, go frick yourself. That's not at all what marriage is.
I told my wife she didn't need to change her name if she didn't feel like it. Especially after I read what she had to do to change everything over. It was kind of a lot.
She wanted to change the name, so she did. If it's a deal breaker, y'all should be on the same page about that before the wedding.
Also, to the poster saying if she doesn't want to take my name she obviously doesn't need my help, go frick yourself. That's not at all what marriage is.
Posted on 11/25/22 at 6:01 am to SavageOrangeJug
quote:
I suppose if you're an insecure little man it is a deal breaker.
Nah, it would mean we have fundamentally different views about the world.
Posted on 11/25/22 at 6:14 am to ArmyHogs
No, simply because I know at that point our value system would be incapable.
Posted on 11/25/22 at 6:14 am to SavageOrangeJug
quote:
I suppose if you're an insecure little man it is a deal breaker.
This is what it all boils down to.
Posted on 11/25/22 at 6:16 am to ArmyHogs
When I was 25, probably. Now that I’m older I wouldn’t care.
Posted on 11/25/22 at 6:20 am to cssamerican
quote:
No, simply because I know at that point our value system would be incapable.
What values? I am not hating I am just curious of the mind set.
Posted on 11/25/22 at 6:22 am to ArmyHogs
A bunch of insecure people in this thread.
Posted on 11/25/22 at 6:23 am to Froman
Do you have to “officially” change it?
“Mrs. Makers did the change, but we were very young, and it was long ago.”
If someone calls her “Mrs. Makers” does she let it go in causal situations?
I’m older so I guess I would not care at this point since “officially” changing would be a PITA.
“Mrs. Makers did the change, but we were very young, and it was long ago.”
If someone calls her “Mrs. Makers” does she let it go in causal situations?
I’m older so I guess I would not care at this point since “officially” changing would be a PITA.
Posted on 11/25/22 at 6:24 am to ArmyHogs
No but her regularly wearing her mask out of doors was one
This post was edited on 11/25/22 at 6:26 am
Posted on 11/25/22 at 6:25 am to ArmyHogs
I would require a Pre-Nup at that point and as already stated, any kids would carry my last name
Posted on 11/25/22 at 6:25 am to ArmyHogs
I would prefer it but there certainly could be valid reasons for not changing it. In this case, telling the fiancé a few days before is a huge red flag though.
Posted on 11/25/22 at 6:29 am to ArmyHogs
quote:
Would your fiancée not taking your last name be a deal breaker?
Nope
Take her last name, baws.
Hell, might as well both get new last names.
Be an ally.
Posted on 11/25/22 at 6:38 am to ArmyHogs
quote:
Would your fiancé not taking your last name be a deal breaker?
Yes. Might as well just not get married.
Posted on 11/25/22 at 6:41 am to ArmyHogs
A couple of days before the wedding would definitely be odd, but my wife and I have both been divorced. She said it was a pain to change her name back the first time, so she just kept it the same after she changed it back to her maiden.(no kids for either of us)
Now we have two boys who have my last name.
I would add that when your younger and it’s your first marriage I think you try to follow more traditional ways of how you think things should be (big wedding etc)
Second time around you’re a bit older
Justice of the piece, a few friends, and so on.
Now we have two boys who have my last name.
I would add that when your younger and it’s your first marriage I think you try to follow more traditional ways of how you think things should be (big wedding etc)
Second time around you’re a bit older
Justice of the piece, a few friends, and so on.
Posted on 11/25/22 at 6:45 am to ArmyHogs
It’s normally a deal breaker, with a few exceptions. The main exception being if the maiden name is tied to monetary value - like her name is used in advertising a self owned business or something
Posted on 11/25/22 at 6:50 am to dexy82
quote:
She said it was a pain to change her name back the first time
I kept my married name after the divorce. But I have a very unique situation. My married name is the same as my grandmother’s maiden name (absolutely no relation though).
Me and her were close and she was always soooo excited that I was gonna have her maiden name. I kept it as a way to honor her memory and still feel connected to her (she died a few months before my wedding).
If I ever remarry I would change it to my spouses name though.
Posted on 11/25/22 at 6:55 am to ArmyHogs
Not a deal breaker but bringing it up 2 days before the wedding is pretty shitty and I would be more concerned about that. Communication is key to a successful marriage.
Posted on 11/25/22 at 6:57 am to bigberg2000
quote:
What values? I am not hating I am just curious of the mind set.
My family always got married and had kids later in life. For example, I had grandparents born in 1900. I didn’t get married until I was in my 30s. We spend the vast majority of our social free time with parents and siblings on both sides, and very little time with friends. In essence, our only social circle outside of work is our families. Because of this I think I have a much more traditional view on a lot of topics.
I was taught the word divorce in a marriage was similar to the N-word in society. You never say it, even in a joking manner, because it’s a word that that once said can never be unsaid.
So, think very conservative, biblically based, and very family focused. These are things I would find very difficult for a woman to believe in if she wasn’t excited to take her husbands last name.
Posted on 11/25/22 at 6:58 am to ArmyHogs
Not a deal breaker but it is a warning sign.
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