re: Would you tell your friend if his significant other is going to destroy him?

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have a long time friend who been dating this woman for over a year. They are talking about engagement and proposals but recently I over heard her taking at a party about their relationship. Basically she said she was settling with him and would prefer an older rich guy but had to accept what she had. She doesn’t want to work and prefers to be taken care of. Meanwhile my friend is working his arse off paying all the bills and she shames him for not making enough. He’s a really great guy, one of the nicest most genuine people I’ve ever known. I usually stay out of other people relationships and I’m sure she told him this but should I talk to him about it? My feelings in no but my wife tells me I should.

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If you don’t tell your friend send me his number and I will.

Do not let this broad settle. Make her settle at her parents house.

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What a cuck That happened to my cousin his wife cheated she confessed and told him she was pregnant. Did a pregnancy dna test wasn’t his and left worst part they met in church. She was also a whore before joining that church.

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If you want a laugh.... It was a couple from our Sunday school class at church coincidentally.

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You can go to church for image and for repentance but girl we know.

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some of the biggest sloots I knew in hs and college were the avidest of avid church goers, in the choir, worked with kids, etc.

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I’m sorry some of us have actually lives and friends. I know you sitting alone in your apartment can’t understand that.

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Even women who very clearly want a rich man typically don't go around openly saying exactly that.

And nobody wants old. That's just what the richest of them usually are.

Story is fake.

A long time friend who is very nice shouldn't be too hard to talk to... unless you know him to be sensitive about her or similar topics.

I think her musing that she would've preferred a rich old guy could be a semi-innocent joke or a red flag, and is something that-- even if he heard her say it himself-- she could dismiss by saying something like: "Lighten up, I was kidding. But truth be told, I hated my last job and would prefer not to work, and if Elon Musk comes along, I might be tempted... but I believe in you, honey. I know you work hard and will always take care of me."

... Then she'll kiss him to finalize her jedi mind trick and he'll regret asking her.

If you have a sense of humor, you could broach it obliquely by joking how you feel lucky you're married now (before women / society went downhill and dating got so expensive, women became so spoiled, or whatever). Then transition to her-- saying you heard her joking to her friends about wanting a sugar daddy because she has expensive tastes. But laugh it off and stress that she seemed to be joking, but see if it made an impact. If you're smooth, you may then be able to pry. It's a fine line, but if you keep it light, it's possible.

If he takes offense, say you like her, congratulate him, and joke that if she does give him problems, you've got his back.

Would I? Yes probably if it were one of my closest friends who I've known a long time.

I've had two such "intervention" type conversations in my life, both with my very closest of friends who are like brothers to me.

One right after we graduated college so we were still young and stupid; it significantly tarnished our friendship. He married her anyway and they're still married but I don't know how they're doing.

The other, just last year so older and been married a while and I got a sincere thanks for the information and they're in counseling.

A third case where I kept my mouth shut was a friend but not at the brother level who is so needy he simply cannot tolerate being alone and will jump at any woman who shows him attention including being her doormat. Both his marriages predictably failed, saw them coming but knew he wouldn't be dissuaded from his course no matter what so I said nothing.

Previous poster epabart has summed it up: to pull off telling him specifically about the conversation while still allowing him dignity over his original and perhaps continued choice of her is a high wire act. And needs to be done in such a way that he feels free to ignore your advice while knowing that you are there. Because he (and she once she hears the accusation) will cut you out simply over embarrassment.

Much surer, still helpful thing to do is merely take time to tell him given that so marriages don't work out, you want him to know you think she is getting a great catch and if it ever gets rocky you've got his back.

If I were him, I would want to know about those comments. Tell him, but be prepared for him to get upset. I still think you owe it to him.

Yep. Just present it as

-you’re NOT trying to influence him but since you’re friends you think he deserves to know what you know.

-you realize it could absolutely make things weird

-ultimately the decision is his.

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Nobody ever listens when pussy is involved. Even in their 40s.

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particularly when they reek of desperation; I tried to teach him numerous times that women can smell that like a dog smells fear and they'll have one of two reactions: repulsion or see him as easy to manipulate to her every whim