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1
Posted on 3/6/26 at 1:30 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
Mark Mansfield
Posted on 3/6/26 at 1:32 pm to jbgleason
quote:There is some truth to this, but the main driver is the spouse who wants a pound of flesh, to hurt the other spouse, to haggle over every element of their finances, to use children as weapons, to make unfounded abuse claims, to poison family members against the other, and to inflict maximum pain on the other.
First the attorneys are going to prolong the divorce to take as much money as possible. Then your wife is going take a much as possible of the current assets and you're future earnings.
Sometimes, it's both spouses. It's money they have and peace they want. But instead of watching ghosts play baseball in an Iowa cornfield, they believe they will find peace through destroying the person they married.
I am thankful not to have experienced this, but many friends have. A friend this morning said his ex (they're divorced but custody is pending) made three baseless DCFS claims against him. (The hearing officer for the last one shut her down and assessed her with costs because of her frivolous claims.)
The only way to peace is forgiveness.
Posted on 3/6/26 at 1:45 pm to BabyTac
Nobody needs to take advice from your dumbass
Posted on 3/6/26 at 1:52 pm to Ice Cold
quote:
the spouse who wants a pound of flesh, to hurt the other spouse, to haggle over every element of their finances, to use children as weapons, to make unfounded abuse claims, to poison family members against the other, and to inflict maximum pain on the other
I hope it doesn’t come to this but I have to be prepared for it.
Posted on 3/6/26 at 1:52 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
quote:
She doesn’t know it, but I know which atty she will use. Apparently she’s got a good one. I’d like to see if her atty’s name pops up here.
You should call their office right now and book a consultation at the first available opening. They should look to see if it is a conflict of interest (aka she's already talked to them), if not, get there first.
You can go to some St Tammany parish FB type group and search for divorce or family lawyer and see what posts come up for the top lawyers and start calling.
If you know it and she knows it, you have to assume she's 5 steps ahead of you.
Posted on 3/6/26 at 1:57 pm to Cosmo
quote:
You need to talk to every good divorce lawyer in the area so your wife cant use them
Some times the best ones are women.
There is a lady attorney in Terrebonne Parish that is known for divorces. Get her and you will be set.
If your wife gets her, she will clean you out.
Posted on 3/6/26 at 2:00 pm to Cuz413
quote:
You should call their office right now and book a consultation at the first available opening. They should look to see if it is a conflict of interest (aka she's already talked to them), if not, get there first.
I know she’s been talking with her atty since the middle of last year. I don’t know how frequently but I don’t want to tip them off and let them know that I know.
I was hoping we could maintain a functioning relationship for the kids but it’s not working being roommates.
I’ve gotten some things in order since I found out about her atty but now I need to focus and get things moving along on my end.
Posted on 3/6/26 at 2:14 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
When you interview attorneys, ask them how successful they are in pushing for mediation. The farther away from a courtroom, the better. Plus your attorney can offer that you were willing to negotiate out of court in good faith.
Posted on 3/6/26 at 2:14 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
Mark Mansfield or Sheila O'Conner
Posted on 3/6/26 at 3:27 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
I can't help with Attorney advise but would like to say I'm rooting for you & hopefully you can apply some of the things being suggested by the OT and people close to you.
One thing I've learned from speaking with someone in your situation is: The person asking for advice and guidance typically & unintentionally, turns into an "askhole."
They hear the true-life experience of someone that's gone through it but believes his situation/wife is different & reject solid real world advise.
Know this: A BITCH, IS A BITCH, IS A BITCH. They are the same. Her mission moving forward will be to take all she can and make you miserable as long as possible.
Dudes that have gone through it have solid intel, heed their wisdom as it came at an extremely high cost. Figure out your finances. Get all your visitation etched in stone. Every Father's Day, your birthday every year. Every other holiday, kids birthday & so forth. Don't forget hunting seasons put it in the details. Be specific about where the kids will live and they can't leave the Parish or State for starters. Child support is set by state law/current income/lifestyle. You may have some flexibility if self employed but this gave my X-wife a free pass to audit me anytime she wanted. I had to produce financials multiple times a year in court, from my CPA. Might not sound bad to some but it was a huge inconvenience for me.
Obviously be nice & don't leave any voicemail, text or video that can & will be used against you. Don't say anything about the mother in front of the children as it will cut them deeply even if it's true. Don't give any money that's not court ordered it will be considered a gift.
Most importantly: Don't be an Askhole.
Best of success to you.
One thing I've learned from speaking with someone in your situation is: The person asking for advice and guidance typically & unintentionally, turns into an "askhole."
They hear the true-life experience of someone that's gone through it but believes his situation/wife is different & reject solid real world advise.
Know this: A BITCH, IS A BITCH, IS A BITCH. They are the same. Her mission moving forward will be to take all she can and make you miserable as long as possible.
Dudes that have gone through it have solid intel, heed their wisdom as it came at an extremely high cost. Figure out your finances. Get all your visitation etched in stone. Every Father's Day, your birthday every year. Every other holiday, kids birthday & so forth. Don't forget hunting seasons put it in the details. Be specific about where the kids will live and they can't leave the Parish or State for starters. Child support is set by state law/current income/lifestyle. You may have some flexibility if self employed but this gave my X-wife a free pass to audit me anytime she wanted. I had to produce financials multiple times a year in court, from my CPA. Might not sound bad to some but it was a huge inconvenience for me.
Obviously be nice & don't leave any voicemail, text or video that can & will be used against you. Don't say anything about the mother in front of the children as it will cut them deeply even if it's true. Don't give any money that's not court ordered it will be considered a gift.
Most importantly: Don't be an Askhole.
Best of success to you.
Posted on 3/6/26 at 3:33 pm to jbgleason
quote:
THIS RIGHT HERE.
Accept that the divorce industry is big business. The lawyers love, love, love when their client digs in and refuses on something. That's when the real billable hours start. My buddy went to the mat over a fricking $5,000 rug and he and his ex spent about $10,000 fighting over it. Both of them were dumb asses. If there is anyway at all that you can work out an agreement on the front end, do it. You may give up more initially but you will save in the long term.
Most divorce attorneys are actually hoping for a quick in and out. An interim custody hearing maybe, then an ultimate stipulation. If a case gets "dragged out" to trial, it's because one or both of the parties are being vindictive assholes. But yes, they will absolutely blame the lawyers after they've set tens of thousands of dollars on fire on their petty bullshite.
Posted on 3/6/26 at 5:29 pm to touchdownjeebus
Can't help crazy!
Posted on 3/6/26 at 5:55 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
quote:
Cage Fighter Trainee
The best advice I can give you is to hire a mediator first and work through the big pieces together—assets, custody schedules, parenting agreements, and anything involving the kids. A mediator helps both sides stay focused on solutions instead of fighting, and it keeps the process calmer and more predictable.
Once the two of you have everything agreed on, then hire an attorney just to file the paperwork and make it official. That part is straightforward when the decisions are already made.
Doing it this way can save a huge amount of money—money that’s better spent on the kids instead of lawyers—and it keeps the whole process much less stressful.
Posted on 3/6/26 at 7:03 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
Everybody on here will say don’t do it…
But hide all your money!
I’m not letting some judge give away half of my money.
But hide all your money!
I’m not letting some judge give away half of my money.
Posted on 3/6/26 at 7:05 pm to Cornpoptiger
quote:
I won every time she brought me to court. EVERY time.
Man, you are awesome! Do you get the less trashy but still trashy award?
Posted on 3/6/26 at 7:12 pm to theCrusher
quote:
First the attorneys are going to prolong the divorce to take as much money as possible.
Yep. No matter how much you think he’s on your side, he’s not. He’s on the same side as her attorney all so they can churn hours. Don’t make small talk with the dirtbag, because he’s billing you for it. You’ll think you’re talking about fishing, but he’s thinking…how can I keep this numbnuts on the phone for an hour talking about fishing?
The only one’s who wins when attorneys get involved are the attorneys.
Posted on 3/6/26 at 7:16 pm to Cage Fighter Trainee
quote:
I was hoping we could maintain a functioning relationship for the kids but it’s not working being roommates.
Translation: OP is tired of not gettin any
Here's the best advice you're going to get in this thread: get yourself a VPN service for your phone, then use it to find the most reputable and expensive escort service you can find.
Then frick her brains out.
Repeat monthly as needed until your kids are out of the house. The money you spend on this service will be pennies compared to what you will lose in divorce.
Posted on 3/6/26 at 7:18 pm to WildcatMike
quote:
hire a mediator first
I’m not opposed to this at all but are there people that just do divorce mediation or would this just be another attorney?
Posted on 3/6/26 at 7:31 pm to forkedintheroad
quote:
Repeat monthly as needed until your kids are out of the house.
I still have anywhere between 5-10 yrs with the kids at home or on the payroll. I’d rather start from scratch now while I feel as though I can still rebound somewhat.
Not to mention this woman sucks the ever frickin life out of me. If she sees me laughing or having fun she does everything possible to stop it. The only time things are tolerable between us is when we have no outside influence by other people.
My immediate emotions when I found out she was talking to an attorney were happiness and excitement! I was giddy like a mofo until I thought how it would affect the kids.
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