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When a friend offers to pay for anything unsolicited
Posted on 6/23/22 at 7:12 am
Posted on 6/23/22 at 7:12 am
Do you:
1. Flat out reject
2. Do the 'No, I'll pay' back and forth' before letting them pay.
3. Say thank you, and pay next time.
I opt for number 3.
Eta: friend is not offering life assistance, but paying for a beer, meal, coffee, etc.
1. Flat out reject
2. Do the 'No, I'll pay' back and forth' before letting them pay.
3. Say thank you, and pay next time.
I opt for number 3.
Eta: friend is not offering life assistance, but paying for a beer, meal, coffee, etc.
This post was edited on 6/23/22 at 7:19 am
25
Posted on 6/23/22 at 7:12 am to DellTronJon
2 then 3
Posted on 6/23/22 at 7:13 am to DellTronJon
Depends what the offer is for.
Paying for a beer? Or helping pay your mortgage?
Paying for a beer? Or helping pay your mortgage?
Posted on 6/23/22 at 7:15 am to DellTronJon
Law 40: despise the free meal
Posted on 6/23/22 at 7:15 am to DellTronJon
He’s banging your wife.
Posted on 6/23/22 at 7:16 am to DellTronJon
Depends on what it is. If it’s offering to pay for drinks at the bar or food 2 or 3. If it’s offering to pay for my GF’s daughters to go on vacation in CA I’ll happily let them pay.
Posted on 6/23/22 at 7:21 am to DellTronJon
I say thank you and let them pay. I am worthy of such treatment, unlike most of you heathens.
Unless it's a movie, because that would feel like a gay date. Especially if they offer to buy popcorn and drinks too.
Unless it's a movie, because that would feel like a gay date. Especially if they offer to buy popcorn and drinks too.
Posted on 6/23/22 at 7:27 am to DellTronJon
quote:
Eta: friend is not offering life assistance, but paying for a beer, meal, coffee, etc.
I'll decline, and if he pushes, I'll accept and pick up the tab next time.
Posted on 6/23/22 at 7:28 am to DellTronJon
My friends and I will take turns most of the time. Go to a bar and say I’ve got everything here. Next place someone else, and so on.
Posted on 6/23/22 at 7:32 am to dualed
Some people’s blessings are doing for others, if this is your friend don’t steal his blessing. You can always pay him back in other ways by buying the next round
Posted on 6/23/22 at 7:33 am to DellTronJon
My former boss (who I respect yo this day) never let me pay for a meal, drink ever.
I just wanted to buy him a meal thanking him for everything thing he had done for me.
So when he retired a found a nice bed and breakfast within an hour or so of his house. I paid for the weekend. The guy had made some money through out his life so he probably owned the bed and breakfast- ha.
I just wanted to buy him a meal thanking him for everything thing he had done for me.
So when he retired a found a nice bed and breakfast within an hour or so of his house. I paid for the weekend. The guy had made some money through out his life so he probably owned the bed and breakfast- ha.
Posted on 6/23/22 at 7:34 am to DellTronJon
Rejecting an offer for something small because of some perceived pride situation is dumb. Why are people so weird?
Always 3.
Always 3.
Posted on 6/23/22 at 7:45 am to DellTronJon
Say thanks and remember to pay next time.
Posted on 6/23/22 at 7:47 am to DellTronJon
It's situational.
If I invited them to have a meal or a beer, I'm paying, so 1, I invited.
If they invited me then it's 3.
If we randomly met up it will depend. If I know they are on a really tight budget, then 1 again. Otherwise 2 to gauge if they are sincerely offering or just trying to do what they think is socially appropriate. If they are sincerely wanting to buy, then 3, otherwise we debate until one of us relents.
If they are one of the few friends I have who are absolutely loaded, 3 without hesitation
If I invited them to have a meal or a beer, I'm paying, so 1, I invited.
If they invited me then it's 3.
If we randomly met up it will depend. If I know they are on a really tight budget, then 1 again. Otherwise 2 to gauge if they are sincerely offering or just trying to do what they think is socially appropriate. If they are sincerely wanting to buy, then 3, otherwise we debate until one of us relents.
If they are one of the few friends I have who are absolutely loaded, 3 without hesitation
Posted on 6/23/22 at 7:50 am to DellTronJon
It’s one of the most uncomfortable situations for me. I usually start with number 2, but I don’t protest very vigorously.
Posted on 6/23/22 at 7:54 am to CocomoLSU
quote:
I'll decline, and if he pushes, I'll accept and pick up the tab next time.
This is the correct answer. Decline once to be polite but don't get in a fricking argument with a friend. If they want to pay, let them. But pick up the tab next time without asking. Just say "you got the last one" once you have already picked up the tab.
Posted on 6/23/22 at 7:54 am to DellTronJon
Depends. I have a buddy who’s a millionaire. I just tell him thanks. But we are really good friends. But I don’t ask for handouts either
The rest I try to do number 3
The rest I try to do number 3
This post was edited on 6/23/22 at 7:56 am
Posted on 6/23/22 at 7:55 am to DellTronJon
The answer is subjective. A “friend” can also be someone I have business dealings with, and that can be peer, client, supplier, vendor, employee, etc. Age and gender also factor in. OT rating for women as well. So, in short, it’s complicated.
Personal life, usually 3, occasionally 2, rarely if ever 1.
I have paid for more things in my personal life than I’ve had paid for me in those subjective situations. By far.
Personal life, usually 3, occasionally 2, rarely if ever 1.
I have paid for more things in my personal life than I’ve had paid for me in those subjective situations. By far.
Posted on 6/23/22 at 7:55 am to DellTronJon
This situation has mostly been killed by Zelle/Venmo/etc, but before that, I would protest once and then not make an issue out of it, shifting to 3.
Now? If anyone wants to make an issue out of it, the person paying the tab has Zelle transfers in their account before anyone stands up from the table.
Now? If anyone wants to make an issue out of it, the person paying the tab has Zelle transfers in their account before anyone stands up from the table.
Posted on 6/23/22 at 7:58 am to dualed
quote:
My friends and I will take turns most of the time. Go to a bar and say I’ve got everything here. Next place someone else, and so on.
This, who has the time to split bills for a meal/drinks between friends, it will work its way out in the end or not,
IDNGAF.
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