re: What's been the toughest emotional struggle of your life?

Cancer

I was having some small personal issues about a year ago and couldn’t figure it out... started drinking too much, being a dick, gained a ton of weight. So for the first time in my life I went to a therapist and also was prescribed some happy pills. The therapist was really zero help, basically told me to exercise and be happy.

Fast forward to early January and I have an allergic reaction to a blood pressure med. I go to my doctor and he takes me off of everything...blood pressure meds and mood meds, and within a week I’m in the best mood I’ve been in for years. Dr suspected it was metoprolol, a common bp med, that was causing the depression. If I hadn’t had the reaction there’s no doubt I’d still be taking that shite and I’d likely be divorced by now too.

I think it’s easy for a black person to fit in amongst whites as long as he’s not stealing their shite.

Kidding.... just kidding

It’s impossible for a black person to fit in amongst whites.

My mom, dad, and little brother all dying within 3 years of each other. It's been 2 years since my mom(the last of the 3 to die) died, and I'm still not fully back emotionally. I never want to step foot in a funeral home again.

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I was holding my dad's hand when he passed away at a young age.

I was holding my little brother's hand when he passed away at age 22 from cancer.

I thought both of those were difficult. Then I watched my 2 1/2 year old son die in an ER this March, buried him in April and am still waiting until today to know why my perfectly healthy little boy died.

Anything else that's happened in my life is a distance second.

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Holy frick dude. That is awful. Really sorry.

Mother fricker :(

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redstick13

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My heart goes out to you, brother. I can't imagine what you've gone through.

Mine are a bit trivial compared to the rest of the thread. But my biggest emotional struggle has been a sense of failure. In the sense that I’m nowhere near where I thought I’d be at my age. And it’s even worse, at least in my mind, because every problem I have with that is completely self inflicted. Never taking school seriously enough and now I look at myself at 25 and I don’t have a job that I really want to do. Wake up hating going to work because I know I could be doing so much more with my life. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’m above any job, because I don’t believe that any job is beneath me.

It’s just that I know I’ve got untapped potential and it’s 100% on me that I’ve not ever realized my full potential. I think a lot of it is that I still haven’t really figured out what it is that I want to do career wise. Once I got to the age of trying to figure out what I wanted to do, I never figured it out. I still don’t exactly know what I want to do, but I know what I don’t want to do and that’s better than nothing.

Idk, it’s hard to describe.

However, I’m working on remedying at least part of the issue by buckling down in school, albeit far behind the 8 ball compared to my peers. I know that a degree isn’t the be all end all but it at least opens up doors that would otherwise be closed to me.

Redstick13 keep coming back here man if needed. This place is alot of things mostly a bunch of guys just BSing but it is also a place to vent. Not many guys have a place to do that because they suppose to be that rock at home. Good luck man and hope you get some type of closure on what happened to your son.

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clinical depression, general anxiety disorder, insomnia

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I hear ya. Try doing it at 48 after a year of unemployment and the end of a 30-year marriage. And before not "believing" in the above stuff.

It's still a struggle. . .