re: Those oil change places could charge $100 for a basic oil change, I’d still go

And at that point you should have contacted the dealership and they will take care of it, not only that but between then and your next oil change if some type of internal engine issue comes up, you can hold the dealership responsible and most dealerships (not all but most) would make sure your well taken care of because they know they messed up a “5 min oil change” place will just add oil to your vehicle is not noise or check engine light is on right then and there or by the time you make it out the parking lot then it never happened and they won’t help you at all

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I could change the oil in less than 10 minutes.

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I love those kinds of oil changes!

The worst I have ever owned are the modern arse engined Nazi slot cars (as PJ O'Rourke once called them). I don't pay even indy Porsche shop prices for oil changes because I change them after every track day and switch out the brake pads too so I am already working on it.

To drain the oil you have to use a special key for the composite pan and it drains really slowly but that is fine since you can do the oil filter while it drains. When you lift the hood of a modern 911 your visual cortex doesn't even process there is an engine there.

Now time to do some searching like Indiana searching for the Holy Grail
Take off the air duct gasket
Take off the plastic engine cover
Remove both cooling fans
Disconnect them from the harness
Remove the fan wire connectors from the bracket
Detach "hood" latch release cable from a bracket
Remove the intake duct
You can then see the oil filter canister cover which has a convenient bolt head on top for removal
Realize it isn't so convenient because you don't own a 36mm socket because nobody does until they change the oil in a 911
Stuff a roll of paper towels around the canister top
Unscrew the canister top
Remove the old filter cartridge
Put the new one on
Screw the canister top back on with your 36mm socket and 12" extension
Clean up any dripped oil
Then proceed to rebuild your engine
Remove filler cap which is the basically the only vestige of a ICE visible besides the coolant filler cap beside it
Pour in 7 liters of Motul 300V 5w 40
Forget to close the crankcase drain because it took so long to change the filter
Watch $96 dollars worth of Motul draining onto your driveway while you look feverishly for where you put that damn little drain plug key.
Sit dejected on the ground coming to the realization the German's outsmarted you.

When you find the plug key and replace the oil after getting 7 more liters you become flummoxed by the fact there is no dipstick. Remember this is the 21st century and head to the cabin to fire up the PCM:

Use the scroll button on the right-hand side of your steering wheel to go to the vehicle folder
Click the scroll button to select the vehicle folder
Scroll down to oil level
See cute little graphic that says your a good boy and did a good job or you put in too much or too little noob.

Celebrate accomplishment

Pour three bags of Oil Zorb on driveway
Wait for wife to come home and question why there is 100 pounds of kitty litter on the driveway
Mutter something about the lawn guys truck leaking oil
Accept reality as well as the omniscience of your wife
Hang head as wife explains you will be a better mechanic when your balls drop

The types of crude oil to provide base oil (foundation for lube oil) has been depleted across the USA. Much of it comes in tankers from Bahrain and Abu Dhabi or from Shell's Pearl GTL plant in Qatar.

You are not going to get any from tight shale crude

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So they can get you in there and "discover" other things that have to be fixed. There is a reason they "give" you those oil changes and it isn't because they are nice people.

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just say you will take care of it yourself and leave they prey mostly the stupid. Don’t be stupid and you are fine

10k mile change intervals are more of the rule than the exception these days. The 3k mile rule was invented by jiffy lube. Once we got fuel injection and quit washing down engines with excess fuel non-stop those change intervals needed to start extending.

Hell diesels have 10k change intervals nowadays and likely could go longer if someone wanted to go through the trouble of trending oil analysis.

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SUS Vis 52.2, cSt Vis 8.44, flashpoint 400, fuel <.5%, antifreeze and water at 0 and insolubles .2% with a TBN of 2.7?

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Man I hope you didn't have those memorized

Getting old is bitch.

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theantiquetiger

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too bad there is no such thing as an oil change kit/specific dedicated tools

Then you could find an old one somewhere and use that.

Sounds stupid, but there are certain things I just like doing myself. Changing my oil and brakes on our vehicles is one of those things. I don't have a shop or a lift or anything like that, so if its winter or too busy at the time... I will go ahead and take it somewhere I trust. But prefer not to take it to one of those quicky places, as I don't trust them.

There have been two occasions where those dipshit didn't tighten the filter enough on my wife's car and the oil was leaking significantly.