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Started By
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re: The best sayings I got from my father
Posted on 7/24/25 at 2:29 pm to Purplehaze
Posted on 7/24/25 at 2:29 pm to Purplehaze
A blistered arse never forgets.
Spread your feet if you piss uphill
All women are crazy, find one within your tolerance.
Love your momma, be IN love with your wife.
There is never a bad day to go fishing.
Spread your feet if you piss uphill
All women are crazy, find one within your tolerance.
Love your momma, be IN love with your wife.
There is never a bad day to go fishing.
3
Posted on 7/24/25 at 2:29 pm to Purplehaze
Life is hard enough as it is, no point in stressing the shite you can't control
Posted on 7/24/25 at 2:29 pm to Purplehaze
When things got tough, dad was "up to his arse in alligators"
Posted on 7/24/25 at 2:30 pm to Purplehaze
From my dad:
“It’s cold enough to two-block the balls on a brass monkey.”
Good looking woman with an ugly guy? “Maybe he has a wart on his dick.”
Good looking guy with an ugly woman? “Maybe she has a snapping pussy.”
“He couldn’t make out with a two-bit whore if he had a ten dollar bill.”
Come to think of it, a lot of dad’s wisdom centered around sex and genitals.
“It’s cold enough to two-block the balls on a brass monkey.”
Good looking woman with an ugly guy? “Maybe he has a wart on his dick.”
Good looking guy with an ugly woman? “Maybe she has a snapping pussy.”
“He couldn’t make out with a two-bit whore if he had a ten dollar bill.”
Come to think of it, a lot of dad’s wisdom centered around sex and genitals.
Posted on 7/24/25 at 2:31 pm to bknight00
quote:
Spread your feet if you piss uphill
Posted on 7/24/25 at 2:33 pm to Purplehaze
He made his bed, now he get's to sleep in it.
If you are not early to an appointment or meeting, you are late.
If you are not early to an appointment or meeting, you are late.
Posted on 7/24/25 at 2:36 pm to Purplehaze
"What the Hell do you think you're doing"
Posted on 7/24/25 at 2:52 pm to Purplehaze
Always pay your bills and keep your reputation intact!
Be a good person.
Make some jokes and laugh. It’s good for you.
Be a good person.
Make some jokes and laugh. It’s good for you.
Posted on 7/24/25 at 2:54 pm to Purplehaze
The only reason the grass looks greener over there is because it was fertilized with bullshite.
Posted on 7/24/25 at 2:58 pm to Purplehaze
quote:
It is not how much money you make but how much you keep.
Money serves no purpose until you spend it.
Posted on 7/24/25 at 3:00 pm to Purplehaze
If you aint in bed my 11:00 just come on home, nothing good happens after midnight
Posted on 7/24/25 at 3:01 pm to Purplehaze
In the backseat of the Lincoln.
“Roll the god damn window up son. You’re letting all the smoke out.”
“Roll the god damn window up son. You’re letting all the smoke out.”
Posted on 7/24/25 at 3:01 pm to Purplehaze
I’d like to buy him for what he’s worth and sell him for what he thinks he’s worth.
Her arse looks like two pigs in a sack.
Meaner than a four-balled tomcat.
Luckier than a two-peckered skunk.
If this works out there’ll be a band between here and Ferriday playing “Who’d uh thought it.”
Her arse looks like two pigs in a sack.
Meaner than a four-balled tomcat.
Luckier than a two-peckered skunk.
If this works out there’ll be a band between here and Ferriday playing “Who’d uh thought it.”
Posted on 7/24/25 at 3:04 pm to NytroBud
Aint no hill for a stepper.
A brand new expensive car is a piss poor investment.
A brand new expensive car is a piss poor investment.
Posted on 7/24/25 at 3:07 pm to White Bear
If you looked with your eyes and not your arse, you might find it! If you're gonn be stupid, you better be tough. You gotta be smarter than the damn tool, son!
Posted on 7/24/25 at 3:08 pm to Purplehaze
All women are nuttier than a tomcat in a sack of squirrels at least once a month.
Try to avoid a fight, but when you can't avoid it, fight like you are the 3rd monkey on the ramp to Noah's Ark, and its starting to rain.
Until you are the boss, keep your mouth shut and your opinions to yourself.
If you choose to live as if there is no God, you better be right.
To a dog, humans are like elves that routinely live to be hundreds of years old.
If the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem will look like a nail
Try to avoid a fight, but when you can't avoid it, fight like you are the 3rd monkey on the ramp to Noah's Ark, and its starting to rain.
Until you are the boss, keep your mouth shut and your opinions to yourself.
If you choose to live as if there is no God, you better be right.
To a dog, humans are like elves that routinely live to be hundreds of years old.
If the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem will look like a nail
Posted on 7/24/25 at 3:09 pm to Purplehaze
"When you stop moving you start dying" (my personal favorite)
"Never trust a fart, you think it'll be silent, it'll be loud. You think it'll be loud, you just shite your pants."
"Don't let Monday ruin your Sundays"
"Life's to short to worry about other people's worries."
"Never trust a fart, you think it'll be silent, it'll be loud. You think it'll be loud, you just shite your pants."
"Don't let Monday ruin your Sundays"
"Life's to short to worry about other people's worries."
Posted on 7/24/25 at 3:11 pm to Purplehaze
Never trust a woman who is single because she cheated on her husband/boyfriend no matter why she did it and never trust a fart once you get past 40yrs old 
Posted on 7/24/25 at 3:11 pm to bknight00
Grandfather cleaning out the shed -
What the eyes don't see - the heart don't miss.
What the eyes don't see - the heart don't miss.
Posted on 7/24/25 at 3:12 pm to mttiger
Your about as retarded as a screen door on a submarine
That boy looks more fricked up than Chinese arithmetic
That boy looks more fricked up than Chinese arithmetic
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