re: Tell us your best bad joke

Johnny goes to school one day and hears the word "a-hole" at lunch. He ask the teacher, "what does a-hole mean? The teacher was stunned and said, visitors.

The next day Johnny hears the word "frick". Johnny again asks the teacher, "what does it mean? She is floored and can only come up with "getting dressed".

The following day, Johnny hears the word "shite". Curious Johnny once again asks the teacher about the meaning of the word and she says food.

Johnny goes home and his mom tells him to watch some tv and listen for the doorbell because some friends are coming over for dinner. His parents were upstairs getting dressed when the doorbell rings. Johnny opens the door and says, "hey you assholes! Your shits on the table and my mom and dad are upstairs fricking".

I ask dad for car one night, he says....blow me, I say yur junk taste like shite, he says ur sister asked for car before you. ..

How do you keep Little Jonny from running in circles?

Nail his other foot to the floor.

A zebra dies and goes to heaven. Upon arrival he meets St. Peter and Peter shows him around and asks the zebra if he has any questions. The zebra says I've always wondered, am I white with black stripes or black with white stripes. Peter thought a minute and told the zebra that he better ask the question to God. So the zebra climbs to the top of heaven and asks God am I white with black stripes or black with white stripes. God replied you are what you are. Later on Peter sees the zebra walking around with a disappointing look on his face. What's wrong he asked. The zebra tells him that God answered him but he doesn't understand. Peter asks well what did he say. Zebra replies that God said you are what you are. Peter says oh that's easy you are white with black stripes. Now the zebra is even more confused. How do you know that he asks. Peter replies well if you were black with white stripes God would have told you, you is what you is.

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How do you punish Helen Keller?

Rearrange the furniture.

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How do you punish her even worse?

Put doorknobs all over the walls.

A set of jumper cables walks into a bar and orders a drink.

The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't try to start anything in here."



Guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He hears, "You look nice tonight." He looks around and sees no one but the bartender. He tells the bartender thanks. The bartender says, "Oh, that wasn't me. It was the complimentary peanuts."

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LCA131

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That's okay, it's a bad joke thread. Here's another one.

Q: What's the best thing about having sex with twenty-six year olds?

A: There's twenty of them.

Dark humor is like food - not everyone gets it.

What did one strawberry say to the other?

"If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be in this jam"

Do you know the difference between jelly and jam?