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Started By
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re: Teach your kids to be strong. Friend of one of my kids committed suicide.
Posted on 2/27/25 at 8:21 am to concrete_tiger
Posted on 2/27/25 at 8:21 am to concrete_tiger
I recently took away my child’s iPad and thus her communication with her friends. I stayed on top of monitoring her communications but even then I still missed a few things. I didn’t realize how toxic that constant communication with peers can be on young minds. No social media involved, just FaceTime & texting. Needless to say, it’s been a very welcoming change in our household.
1
Posted on 2/27/25 at 8:27 am to The Egg
quote:
kids can be downright monsters
That's always been true. But in the past there were escapes. If the bullying was happening at school it would at least stop when the child got home. If it were happening outside of school the child could find ways to avoid the bully.
Now, with cell phones and social media it feels like there is no escape. The bullying (often via text messaging) is perpetual, and people can circulate thing faster and broadly than ever before via social media/texting.
It's so sad. Suicide was not even in my lexicon at 10-11 years old, and it was NEVER something I would even consider to be an option if I were feeling bad
Posted on 2/27/25 at 8:28 am to concrete_tiger
My son attempted suicide this past September. It wasn't due to bullying. He has suffered from anxiety and depression for years. He's been through several counselors and he avoided transparency with them. I came home from work September 12th and found him in the field behind my house. He had shot himself in the head with a .22 cricket rifle and was bleeding from his eyes, nose and ears. It was the worst day of my life, but it could've been worse.
Posted on 2/27/25 at 8:30 am to concrete_tiger
My youngest daughter’s best friend killed herself at 19. December 2020. Early morning hours, wrapped her parents’ and siblings’ gifts, put them under the tree, went outside and shot herself in the chest in the front yard. She left a note but I’ve never seen it or heard what it said.
She wasn’t bullied as far as I know but she was troubled emotionally/mentally and had a difficult childhood. That girl practically lived at our house. Breaks my heart to this day. Love your babies, people.
She wasn’t bullied as far as I know but she was troubled emotionally/mentally and had a difficult childhood. That girl practically lived at our house. Breaks my heart to this day. Love your babies, people.
Posted on 2/27/25 at 8:30 am to Alt26
quote:exactly. In my case it was only at school or on the bus. And I could avoid that dickhead usually so our encounters were random.
If the bullying was happening at school it would at least stop when the child got home. If it were happening outside of school the child could find ways to avoid the bully.
and lemmy is right…take the phone or device away and the cyberbullying stops. The child undergoing the bullying needs a safe respite
Posted on 2/27/25 at 8:32 am to slaughlin
quote:
That is just awful. These kids today deal with so much more than we had to growing up in the 70s and 80s. Prayers for this poor child's family and friends
There were many bullies in the 70s and 80s, just like today. What we didn’t have was every person walking around with their own television station in hand, and many mediums to broadcast their bullshite, but OP was correct that we need to raise our children to be strong and decent people who knock the shite out of bullies when necessary.
Posted on 2/27/25 at 8:33 am to HuskyPanda
quote:
I really wish that at a certain age, kids could be held accountable for this.
Or their parents .
Posted on 2/27/25 at 8:34 am to concrete_tiger
I preach to my kids as often as I can that our self-worth is not derived from any other person(s) or from worldly things. I fall short of this myself plenty of times but strive to live by that. It's a tough lesson to learn with the current state of the world and the prominence of social media. We had it easier in that regard 30 years ago than these kids do now.
Posted on 2/27/25 at 8:34 am to concrete_tiger
Be very mindful of you kid after this and tell other parents the same thing.....seriously, suicide can be contagious, especially with kids. DO not dismiss this....it happens all too often and as a parent we simply cant even comprehend it. Watch her closely and talk to other parents....
When I was a sophomore in high school in Cobb County, Georgia (Metro Atlanta) there was a school in a fairly affluent part of the county where 11 kids committed suicide in about a 6 week period. We all knew some of those kids. The disease spread to other schools. Very few of us did not know someone who had taken their life and the half hearted attempts to do so numbered in the high hundreds. I can remember the conversations and the wistfulness many of my classmates had for offing themselves during this period. This was not unique to this area...it happens way more often than we can imagine. Watch your kid....talk to her....build her up....don't put a lot of pressure on her for a while....seriously, it can be contagious.
When I was a sophomore in high school in Cobb County, Georgia (Metro Atlanta) there was a school in a fairly affluent part of the county where 11 kids committed suicide in about a 6 week period. We all knew some of those kids. The disease spread to other schools. Very few of us did not know someone who had taken their life and the half hearted attempts to do so numbered in the high hundreds. I can remember the conversations and the wistfulness many of my classmates had for offing themselves during this period. This was not unique to this area...it happens way more often than we can imagine. Watch your kid....talk to her....build her up....don't put a lot of pressure on her for a while....seriously, it can be contagious.
Posted on 2/27/25 at 8:35 am to BabyTac
quote:
Don’t say this is awful and then go and blast some college kid or even his girlfriend for making a stupid whorish mistake. That is social bullying to the utmost extent
I think the kids call that “slut shaming .”
Posted on 2/27/25 at 8:39 am to concrete_tiger
Why are kids so ruthless? They learn a lot of from their parents.
Posted on 2/27/25 at 8:40 am to Dragula
quote:
Girls are flat out vicious and psychologically mean...
There's a little fat shite girl on my kids bus that is a major bully. Parents aren't worth a shite, they inherited a bunch of family money and don't work.
The girl has said some truly awful things to my daughter, about me and my wife, about her siblings. She has a little crew that she has on her side as well.
I'm talking about calling her fat, the girl calling her fat has 50 lbs on her, my daughter is skinny. Called her poor, called us poor, said my wife is a bad mom because she can't stay home and she works. Called her ugly. Called her a lesbian, daughter doesn't even know what that is.
You name it, she's said it. We had my daughter tell her numerous times to stop, of course that didn't work. She tries ignoring her, she reported it to the bus driver. Principal got involved, separated them on the bus.
My kids are under strict instructions.
Try to mitigate yourself
Alert the adult that is responsible
Alert the school
If any of those 3 don't work, you punch her arse in the face and keep punching her until they pull you off. Thankfully it hasn't come to that, but this has been going on for months.
Posted on 2/27/25 at 8:40 am to cgrand
School was fine it was the bus or sometimes in the neighborhood where I had issues. All of the issues went away in 9th grade but man middle school bus was tough.
I still see a few of the frickers on social media...none of them are doing well in life so that's good.
I think today everyone on social media looks happy so it makes the isolation of the bullied kid seem more intense. I talk to my kid weekly about it and he still has yet to admit that anyone is mean to him except for aggressive competitive kids at basketball camps etc
I still see a few of the frickers on social media...none of them are doing well in life so that's good.
I think today everyone on social media looks happy so it makes the isolation of the bullied kid seem more intense. I talk to my kid weekly about it and he still has yet to admit that anyone is mean to him except for aggressive competitive kids at basketball camps etc
Posted on 2/27/25 at 8:47 am to Odysseus32
quote:
I think that most kids who are bullies are that way because their parents are the type of people who will not get them to cut that shite out.
I think almost all kids are bullies at times....it is when they keep on and on that someone has to step in and stop it. There is also some level of kids being overly sensitive to bullying now....my daughter and her friends are about like Beaver Cleaver claiming his parents were yelling at him when all they were doing was speaking to him in a normal tone of voice. They will say the meanest shite in the world to one another and its all fine until one of them reaches the limit of their vileness and all of sudden she is being bullied because they are taught at school that when they claim they are being bullied someone is going to get in trouble. Cry wolf often enough and you are liable to start seeing wolves everywhere.
Some light bullying is actually good for kids...it keeps society functioning smoothly. We all do it to some extent...when someone says of does something strange we call them out or act differently toward them....it ain't all bad.
Posted on 2/27/25 at 8:50 am to concrete_tiger
Oh man. The heart break.
Posted on 2/27/25 at 8:52 am to concrete_tiger
As a dad of a soon to be 10 yr.old daughter, this is my worst nightmare.
This post was edited on 2/27/25 at 8:54 am
Posted on 2/27/25 at 8:54 am to AwgustaDawg
quote:
When I was a sophomore in high school in Cobb County, Georgia (Metro Atlanta) there was a school in a fairly affluent part of the county where 11 kids committed suicide in about a 6 week period.
Lassiter?
Posted on 2/27/25 at 8:58 am to concrete_tiger
I have a 12 year old daughter.
This stuff scares me so much. I can't imagine the pain.
This stuff scares me so much. I can't imagine the pain.
Posted on 2/27/25 at 8:59 am to concrete_tiger
Wish I didn't read this thread. What a nightmare.
Posted on 2/27/25 at 9:01 am to GetCocky11
quote:
Shitty kids are just a reflection of their parents in a vast majority of cases
100% truth.
My wife sees it all the time in the schools. She deals with some shithead kid, brings parents in and they’re just as bad and often worse.
Decent people naturally won’t tolerate one of their kids running around like a sociopath and they sure as hell won’t defend that kind of behavior.
More parents than I ever would have realized simply aren’t decent people.
And OP, prayers for the family of your daughter’s friend, but also for your daughter. No 13 yo should have to experience that, it’s awful. There was a suicide last month at the school my wife works at and it really impacts everyone…teachers, staff even students who don’t even know them.
I just wish there was a way to convey that to kids who ideate on ending their lives…if they could just interpret the chaos and heartache that always comes as, “that’s how much value you have, that’s how much people care”. I know when you’re that deep in the hole you just can’t, but I wish they could.
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