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re: Tampa father fights for daughter after she was given up for adoption
Posted on 5/16/23 at 10:21 am to Pettifogger
Posted on 5/16/23 at 10:21 am to Pettifogger
quote:
I think both things can be true here - our governments make it a really high/difficult hurdle for good fathers to parent, and that in most of these cases the adoptive parents are in a no win situation and often are the only ones who seemingly have the best interest of the kid in mind.
Couldn't agree more. I'm not making any judgement on this because there just isn't enough information. I've seen huge POS parents fight like they are parents of the year in court despite doing meth all day and I've also seen relatives fight like hell to get custody of a family member, just for DCFS to clog up the process with BS red tape.
0
Posted on 5/16/23 at 10:26 am to pioneerbasketball
One of my more radical opinions: Men don't have adequate reproductive rights because our roles in the family are not valued by the modern left wing of American politicians. And every time this is brought up, we are told by some radical feminist to shut up and stay in our lane. Some even brand us as radical right wingers just for pointing out a glaring case of inequality and legal bias.
Legalized abortion + family law favoring the mother might be pragmatic for addressing societal problems around shitty, deadbeat fathers. But it's a fricking disaster from an equality and fairness standpoint to the child and the father. And I think it just another nail in the coffin for fatherhood in this country, which leads to more and more societal issues, crime, and under achievement.
I'm not saying that I have the solution that fixes everything. I'm just pointing out that what we have now in most states is incredibly flawed and clearly doesn't value the role of the father.
Family law is tricky. I've seen parents who have no business being anywhere near kids fight over custody (and win) just to frick over their ex. I hate that. And I hate that our legal system is so screwed up in this area. I would absolutely hate to be a divorce lawyer, especially in cases where kids are involved. That has to eat away at you over time if you are in that legal niche.
Another one of my radical opinions: We work very hard to discourage people that actually would be excellent parents from having kids. We need to seriously consider extending paid family leave to at least 10+ weeks. The people who would get the most out of it are productive, hard working, and most likely want to have kids.
Legalized abortion + family law favoring the mother might be pragmatic for addressing societal problems around shitty, deadbeat fathers. But it's a fricking disaster from an equality and fairness standpoint to the child and the father. And I think it just another nail in the coffin for fatherhood in this country, which leads to more and more societal issues, crime, and under achievement.
I'm not saying that I have the solution that fixes everything. I'm just pointing out that what we have now in most states is incredibly flawed and clearly doesn't value the role of the father.
Family law is tricky. I've seen parents who have no business being anywhere near kids fight over custody (and win) just to frick over their ex. I hate that. And I hate that our legal system is so screwed up in this area. I would absolutely hate to be a divorce lawyer, especially in cases where kids are involved. That has to eat away at you over time if you are in that legal niche.
Another one of my radical opinions: We work very hard to discourage people that actually would be excellent parents from having kids. We need to seriously consider extending paid family leave to at least 10+ weeks. The people who would get the most out of it are productive, hard working, and most likely want to have kids.
This post was edited on 5/16/23 at 10:33 am
Posted on 5/16/23 at 10:34 am to pioneerbasketball
That’s bullshite.
Posted on 5/16/23 at 11:05 am to mahdragonz
quote:
what kind of man has sex with a woman and doesn't know she is pregnant or had his kid?
dude sounds like he hit it and quit it and the lady did what she needed to do.
I saw nothing in the article to support this. The article said the baby was born with cocaine in her system because the mother used. The father wanted to take the baby home with him to raise, but didn't want the mother to come due to her drug issues. She got mad at him and put the baby up for adoption.
Article indicated he had a room fixed up for the baby.
There is nothing about signing the birth certificate. Mother could have told them that she didn't know who the father was or she wasn't married and wasn't sure who the father was.
This guy doesn't sound like a bad seed. He's had the same job for 35 years and raised a daughter as a single parent.
Posted on 5/16/23 at 11:36 am to pioneerbasketball
Feminazis want equality. Except, not really.
This post was edited on 5/16/23 at 11:36 am
Posted on 5/16/23 at 12:19 pm to pioneerbasketball
I was expecting a world star video when I opened this thread
Posted on 5/16/23 at 12:43 pm to pioneerbasketball
As others have said, this is a tough one because you're only getting one side of things and there are definitely things that don't add up.
First, he mentions that he told the investigative team that he wants custody but I'm curious as to what action he attempted to take when the child was initially born. He mentioned he went to the hospital after his shift and the baby was already given away. What happened before that? How long has he known she was pregnant? He knew enough that he showed up at the hospital shortly after the baby was born. Did he know she was doing cocaine and if he did, why didn't he report that to CHFS (which would have absolutely helped bolster his case).
There just feels like a weird gap there.
Then there's this:
Most all of my clients I work with who had visitation situations returned to in-person visits pretty quickly post-COVID. Because the court is very particular about that. Why is it now only Zoom visits?
I'm really curious of the legal rationale to this. If he has established parental rights (that have to be terminated) then why doesn't he at least have 50/50 custody as this resolves?
This one is a little red flaggy to me and might indicate why he doesn't currently have custody. If he needs to move into his sister's house in order to raise the baby, that could indicate that he is unable to have overnight visitation at his own home (either because of size/space, work schedule, etc).
First, he mentions that he told the investigative team that he wants custody but I'm curious as to what action he attempted to take when the child was initially born. He mentioned he went to the hospital after his shift and the baby was already given away. What happened before that? How long has he known she was pregnant? He knew enough that he showed up at the hospital shortly after the baby was born. Did he know she was doing cocaine and if he did, why didn't he report that to CHFS (which would have absolutely helped bolster his case).
There just feels like a weird gap there.
Then there's this:
quote:
Initially, Carwise had in-person visits with his daughter at an Orlando mall. Those in-person visits stopped at the start of the pandemic. For the past three years, he has not touched his daughter. The visits have been restricted to Zoom once a week.
Most all of my clients I work with who had visitation situations returned to in-person visits pretty quickly post-COVID. Because the court is very particular about that. Why is it now only Zoom visits?
quote:
The prospective adoptive parents filed a new lawsuit in Hillsborough County this year, another petition to terminate his parental rights.
I'm really curious of the legal rationale to this. If he has established parental rights (that have to be terminated) then why doesn't he at least have 50/50 custody as this resolves?
quote:
Carwise plans to live in Green's house when he gets custody of his daughter.
“He has the support that he needs to take care of this child," Green said.
This one is a little red flaggy to me and might indicate why he doesn't currently have custody. If he needs to move into his sister's house in order to raise the baby, that could indicate that he is unable to have overnight visitation at his own home (either because of size/space, work schedule, etc).
Posted on 5/16/23 at 12:53 pm to Schmelly
quote:
mother can give up a baby for adoption no matter what the father wants but can also keep it and make him pay for it for 18years orrrr can just kill it if she feels the need.
It’s complete bullshite. Especially the adoption part. Imo if the father wants the child and she doesn’t then give him custody and make her pay child support
Posted on 5/16/23 at 12:55 pm to BluegrassBelle
I'm still reading this to make sure I have all the facts straight. He still has parental rights but the family with custody keeps appealing. This man raised a 26 year old daughter as a single father, so if he has shown that he is fully capable of raising a child, this family needs to be full on board with reunification. That should always be the goal.
But again, I wonder if there are other aspects to this story that we aren't getting.
But again, I wonder if there are other aspects to this story that we aren't getting.
Posted on 5/16/23 at 12:56 pm to theunknownknight
quote:
The white conservative male is oppressed in the country by the system
quote:
theunknownknight
Posted on 5/16/23 at 12:57 pm to BluegrassBelle
quote:
Most all of my clients I work with who had visitation situations returned to in-person visits pretty quickly post-COVID. Because the court is very particular about that. Why is it now only Zoom visits?
I mean, what if he stopped trying? This from the article:
quote:
The adoption agency, Bethany Christian Services, and prospective adoptive parents referred to only as Katrina and William Doe in court records, took Carwise to court in Orange County to terminate his parental rights, arguing he had abandoned his daughter because he did not financially support her while she was not in his custody.
I wonder if he just vanished off the face of the earth to the family and then all the sudden shows up saying "where's my child". Who knows.
Posted on 5/16/23 at 1:00 pm to sicboy
My wife has been involved with child welfare in Florida for years, I sent her the article and her response:
Sounds like Bethany jumped the gun in starting the adoption process.
I know that the TPR (termination of parental rights) process always takes a long time because the courts want to make absolutely sure that once they rule on it, it can't come back on them. It's a frustrating process, but necessary.
quote:
No mention of DCF involvement initially for him. This baby should have been placed in a cradle care home by Bethany.
Sounds like Bethany jumped the gun in starting the adoption process.
I know that the TPR (termination of parental rights) process always takes a long time because the courts want to make absolutely sure that once they rule on it, it can't come back on them. It's a frustrating process, but necessary.
This post was edited on 5/16/23 at 1:02 pm
Posted on 5/16/23 at 1:01 pm to sicboy
quote:
I wonder if he just vanished off the face of the earth to the family and then all the sudden shows up saying "where's my child". Who knows.
Yeah there’s just a lot of things that don’t add up. And it’s hard to determine whether it’s because Florida’s family court system/family law is a shite show or if we’re not getting the whole story about biological Dad.
It’s confusing as to how his parental rights haven’t been terminated yet but he’s not allowed to have at least supervised visitations with the kid.
Posted on 5/16/23 at 1:02 pm to BluegrassBelle
quote:
It’s confusing as to how his parental rights haven’t been terminated yet but he’s not allowed to have at least supervised visitations with the kid.
If he stopped making an effort to see his child or something happened that gave the prospective adoptive family concerns, that could be why.
Posted on 5/16/23 at 1:03 pm to TackySweater
Huh? Men can get pregnant, just ask a lefty.
Posted on 5/16/23 at 1:05 pm to sicboy
quote:
If he stopped making an effort to see his child or something happened that gave the prospective adoptive family concerns, that could be why.
Right. That’s what I was wondering as well and why it doesn’t add up with Dad’s side of the story.
ETA: Just saw your other post edit about parental right termination. It takes a significant amount of time and money to terminate (for obvious reasons). If he makes any kind of active attempt, it stops those proceedings.
This post was edited on 5/16/23 at 1:07 pm
Posted on 5/16/23 at 1:11 pm to BluegrassBelle
The truth is usually less interesting than the narrative. My cousin had a similar thing happen to him in MS—where he lost his bio child to the adoptive parents the mother chose, and the facts are he missed court dates, didn’t hire a lawyer, didn’t register as the father, and was totally and utterly unprepared to actually parent the kid. He still tells people about how the horrible adoptive parents “stole” his baby.
Posted on 5/16/23 at 1:23 pm to pioneerbasketball
Louisiana—initially through our Supreme Court — decades ago developed an excellent measure for when to extend constitutional parental rights to unmarried / biological dads in adoption cases. I find it fairly balances the interests of father & child. Bottom line: the dad must show evidence of his commitment to the child pre- and/or post-birth through practical actions to support the mother’s pregnancy & to arrange to care for the child himself.
In Louisiana the atty for that agency would have spoken to the unmarried father and evaluated whether his efforts sufficiently demonstrated commitment. If what he says here is accurate, a good faith Louisiana agency probably wouldn’t have accepted the birth mother’s surrender.
No one wants to create an adoptive placement which might be severed.
I’ll add that in my experience, a biological father rarely demonstrates sufficient commitment to indicate he’d offer a secure upbringing for the baby. If he was already committed to that, the mother would be unlikely to surrender the child for adoption.
As an aside, I’ll also add that my agency client thoroughly questioned birth mothers as to the dad’s true identity, & to obtain all possible contact info for him.
I told the mothers that as none of us were God, we had no right to determine whether the baby should ever have the opportunity to know his father. We did our level best to root out untruths this way, & got results.
In Louisiana the atty for that agency would have spoken to the unmarried father and evaluated whether his efforts sufficiently demonstrated commitment. If what he says here is accurate, a good faith Louisiana agency probably wouldn’t have accepted the birth mother’s surrender.
No one wants to create an adoptive placement which might be severed.
I’ll add that in my experience, a biological father rarely demonstrates sufficient commitment to indicate he’d offer a secure upbringing for the baby. If he was already committed to that, the mother would be unlikely to surrender the child for adoption.
As an aside, I’ll also add that my agency client thoroughly questioned birth mothers as to the dad’s true identity, & to obtain all possible contact info for him.
I told the mothers that as none of us were God, we had no right to determine whether the baby should ever have the opportunity to know his father. We did our level best to root out untruths this way, & got results.
Posted on 5/16/23 at 1:28 pm to dyslexiateechur
quote:
He still tells people about how the horrible adoptive parents “stole” his baby.
My family has personal experience with this. Usually when "they stole my child", it's because the birth parent did something or DIDN'T do something....like make the efforts to show they were stable and could provide a safe home for their child.
Posted on 5/16/23 at 1:59 pm to kywildcatfanone
quote:
It's pretty ridiculous that in this day and time, the fathers still don't have equal rights.
Preach
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