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re: So..got in a fight with the wife tonight…
Posted on 6/27/25 at 10:53 am to SquatchDawg
Posted on 6/27/25 at 10:53 am to SquatchDawg
Great post. Thanks for the share.
On paper, and in the year 2025, you're right. But every marriage is unique. Every relationship is unique.
Only YOU can really know what's in the best interests of her mental health. Pushing her to get a job after not working for 20 years is definitely not going to be something that's always simple and easy for someone to psychologically adjust to. Push for it in whatever way you see fit, and let it breathe would be my suggestion. Support her regardless of her decision, but I feel your point. And I tend to agree with you.
You don't really need our perspective, anyway. Clearly you love her, and that's all that REALLY matters in the end.
The job is of tertiary importance imho. The rhythm with alcohol is the more glaring first thing to handle. That has to be done with understanding and leading by example etc... but without judging. Good luck with that. That, too, is such a personal path to navigate.
On paper, and in the year 2025, you're right. But every marriage is unique. Every relationship is unique.
Only YOU can really know what's in the best interests of her mental health. Pushing her to get a job after not working for 20 years is definitely not going to be something that's always simple and easy for someone to psychologically adjust to. Push for it in whatever way you see fit, and let it breathe would be my suggestion. Support her regardless of her decision, but I feel your point. And I tend to agree with you.
You don't really need our perspective, anyway. Clearly you love her, and that's all that REALLY matters in the end.
The job is of tertiary importance imho. The rhythm with alcohol is the more glaring first thing to handle. That has to be done with understanding and leading by example etc... but without judging. Good luck with that. That, too, is such a personal path to navigate.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 11:55 am to HouseMom
quote:
HouseMom
Thanks for your comments. Spot on.
To all of the cheating comments, I would be shocked as her girl time is all with 50 yr old women in long marriages that are friends. No nights out and always at somebody’s house. I’ve been hyper attentive to this and nothing goes on at bars or anything like that. Girl trips are with her sister and close friend….both married and family friends.
This was the FIRST thing I started looking at when all of this started.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 11:55 am to SCLibertarian
Poor guy is living this nightmare.


Posted on 6/27/25 at 12:03 pm to SquatchDawg
How old is she? It would probably SIGNIFICANTLY benefit her to get her hormones checked. I lost my dad 9 years ago to lung cancer & coupled with early perimenopause it was crippling. I didn’t even want my girls (who I adore) to sit on the couch with me. I was like a different person. Getting on HRT has changed my life. Give her support & love, tell her you’re worried about her, and maybe suggest she might want to get them checked. Hang in there!
Posted on 6/27/25 at 12:09 pm to Bunk Moreland
I was waiting on that to be posted. He's in square 9 right now.
This post was edited on 6/27/25 at 12:10 pm
Posted on 6/27/25 at 12:13 pm to SquatchDawg
quote:
would be shocked as her girl time is all with 50 yr old women in long marriages that are friends.
That's the sluttiest demo at most bars.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 12:18 pm to SquatchDawg
I’m probably the 200th to say this, I haven’t read everything, but I don’t need to. I read your post. Your wife has clinical depression. You’re not wrong and she needs help.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 12:21 pm to SquatchDawg
She needs to go to therapy. She's depressed. However its going to be a fight if tell her she needs to go to therapy. Telling a woman they need therapy is like telling them they are fat. There's only one way to tell a woman she's fat, and that's to run with her. 25yrs is worth saving. Schedule a therapy session and both of you attend. Go through it together. It'll probably save her and in long run she'll start attending on her own...which is what she needs.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 12:22 pm to public_enemy
quote:
I’d think people married 25 years would understand that when a spouse changes that much, it’s not normal and needs to be helped.
Not necessarily. When there is a slow, downward trajectory there are new "normals" along the path, each one progressively, but slightly, lower. (Such as caretaking of parent 1, death of parent 1, caretaking of parent 2, death of parent 2, etc....) It's only when you get to the bottom sometimes and look around do you realize where you are, where you came from, and hopefully where you need to go.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 12:24 pm to mytigger
quote:
practicing yoga is 100% an open door to the demonic. The body positions and mantras are designed to worship a spiritual entity (aka demon)
The frick?
Posted on 6/27/25 at 12:26 pm to Lexis Dad
Oh shite. Never heard that one either. I hope looking at yoga pants on Reddit doesn’t get me a demon.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 12:31 pm to mytigger
quote:where do you people come from?
but practicing yoga is 100% an open door to the demonic.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 12:32 pm to SquatchDawg
That's reassuring to hear. But seriously, I did family court work for years until the stress of it almost drove me to a complete breakdown. You've got to have a come to Jesus talk with her, and you cannot expect her female friends and family to support you either. They will turn on you and make you the bad guy, even if you aren't and are just trying to help her. They will call you controlling, insecure, jealous, paranoid, just about every word under the sun to make you the bad guy. But you've got to do it anyway. You're going to have to make it clear that, whatever this black hole she's been in for years is, she needs professional help to get out of it. And you've got to be emotionally prepared to walk away and protect your kids if she doesn't get help. That black hole will consume you and your kids until all of you are as miserable as she is.
This post was edited on 6/27/25 at 12:33 pm
Posted on 6/27/25 at 12:32 pm to SquatchDawg
Get ahead of the game and put the best lawyer around on retainer.
If you don't need it, no big deal. You have a nice lawyer friend.
If you do need it, you will be a lot happier in the long run!
If you don't need it, no big deal. You have a nice lawyer friend.
If you do need it, you will be a lot happier in the long run!
Posted on 6/27/25 at 12:34 pm to FLBooGoTigs1
quote:
I hope looking at yoga pants on Reddit doesn’t get me a demon
Only the kind that live in your butthole.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 12:38 pm to SCLibertarian
quote:
You've got to have a come to Jesus talk with her, and you cannot expect her female friends and family to support you either. They will turn on you and make you the bad guy, even if you aren't and are just trying to help her. They will call you controlling, insecure, jealous, paranoid, just about every word under the sun to make you the bad guy.
She has likely spent decades complaining to these people about one thing, you.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 12:45 pm to SquatchDawg
Perimenopause. Many women suddenly can’t stand their husbands for no seemingly good reason and simply need hormones to fix it. Would save a ton of marriages if doctors would recognize it more.
Posted on 6/27/25 at 12:46 pm to NervousNellie
quote:
Perimenopause. Many women suddenly can’t stand their husbands for no seemingly good reason and simply need hormones to fix it. Would save a ton of marriages if doctors would recognize it more.
calling BS on this
Posted on 6/27/25 at 12:53 pm to SquatchDawg
Depression + menopause is no fun for anyone.
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