Sadvocate Report: SpaceX Cancels Louisiana Facility due to State Insurance Issues

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PECAN ISLAND, LA – SpaceX has reportedly reconsidered plans for a massive Louisiana launch facility after company officials learned that every rocket would require separate wind, flood insurance policies.

According to sources, SpaceX officials first became concerned when every private insurer declined coverage after hearing “Pecan Island.”

“Initially, we thought the expensive part would be launching a 400-foot rocket into space,” said one SpaceX executive. “Apparently, it’s parking one near the Gulf.”

The proposed policy reportedly covered the rocket against theft and minor hail damage but excluded named storms, storm surge, lightning, fire, explosions, falling debris and anything occurring while the rocket was turned on. SpaceX was also informed its launchpad would be classified as waterfront property despite engineers repeatedly describing it as “mostly marsh.”

Louisiana officials attempted to salvage the deal by offering tax incentives and a complimentary blue tarp. However, SpaceX representatives said sending a rocket to Mars would be considerably easier than insuring one in Louisiana.

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