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re: Regretting motherhood: What have I done to my life?
Posted on 6/27/18 at 7:59 pm to Pecker
Posted on 6/27/18 at 7:59 pm to Pecker
quote:
But admitting that parenting is hard, or that there are parts of it we don’t like, is still something of a taboo.
Well that's bullshite. Literally every mother with access to social media does this.
I understand her POV but I have no sympathy. Nothing is going to get better for you when you are constantly looking backwards at what could have been. She has a golden opportunity to make the most of her life with her kids NOW, and do things with them that she can look back on when she is older and think "Wow, what if I had never had these kids? How much would I have missed?" The trick is to not become a soccer mom. Soccer moms are depressed whores. Take your kids to do things as a family. Make a plan of activities, then execute the plan. Invest in things that you enjoy doing together. Is it easy? No, hell no. But nothing truly rewarding ever is.
2
Posted on 6/27/18 at 8:06 pm to PrivatePublic
I think most of you on your OT are employed white guys who are very average. You think you are ballers, but true ballers wors their butts off and have no time for frat boy posts.
Probably a small percentage will get an heritance that will set you up...most of you, I suggest max out 401 k’s and go to the money board...
You don’t have wives and girlfriends, hell you don’t even have football season tickets.. just grow up.
Probably a small percentage will get an heritance that will set you up...most of you, I suggest max out 401 k’s and go to the money board...
You don’t have wives and girlfriends, hell you don’t even have football season tickets.. just grow up.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 8:13 pm to Pecker
quote:
I follow her compulsively on Instagram; while my jealousy grows with every unfiltered photo
Social media not only makes people depressed but it makes "keeping up with the Joneses" even more prevalent than ever before.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 8:16 pm to stout
quote:
Social media not only makes people depressed but it makes "keeping up with the Joneses" even more prevalent than ever before.
Exactly.
And watching my friends continuously bitch about their kids on social media has helped me and my gf decide that we’re not having any. I’m def not keeping up with the Joneses on this one. Don’t want to, don’t plan to.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 8:18 pm to natsoundup
quote:
You don’t have wives and girlfriends, hell you don’t even have football season tickets.. just grow up.
Shut up Lee. We're nice people down here, you Ole Crotchety Yankee! I'm very poor but... I have a beautiful girlfriend and we sit in 414.
This post was edited on 6/27/18 at 8:38 pm
Posted on 6/27/18 at 8:56 pm to Pecker
quote:
I follow her compulsively on Instagram; while my jealousy grows with every unfiltered photo,
Got it, so she sees the best 5% of her friend's life, but not the other, less glamorous parts.
That is the problem with social media... nobody posts the struggles, the sleepless nights. But I am sure her other friends have posted pictures of the immaculate kids in matching outfits.
The author clearly has issues. Fulfillment is relative. Young children can be a burden, but are you in the short game or the long game? If the idea of a relationship with your children, and the life experience of raising and molding young people isn't rewarding to you.... then you should have used protection.
This post was edited on 6/27/18 at 8:57 pm
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:01 pm to Paul Allen
quote:
Sounds like a great time
Well, I guess next time there's a play or track meet or soccer match, I'll go to a craft beer fest and hang out with pretentious soyboy hipsters.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:06 pm to Barbellthor
quote:
When you and your friend are both in your '50s and older and have retired, and your looks have both started to fade, guess which one of you will feel lonely without a family to still love you
I'm 50 and just got back from playing soccer tonight with the 20 somethings. If you do things right then you learn how to get out there and make stuff happen instead of depending on others to show up for you. I have a much more full social life than most my age, and I won't suddenly go nuts when I retire because I know how to avoid getting bored.
quote:
Go to the nursing home--those with a sense of accomplishment are those with family
Most of them are showing up out of social obligation, not because they actually want to be there.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:28 pm to foshizzle
quote:
Most of them are showing up out of social obligation, not because they actually want to be there.
Or maybe it's because they love their parents/grandparents?
Just imagine being one of those old people in the nursing home that never had children to help care for them or even visit them and who's spouse died earlier or is too much of a comatose vegetable to be of any comfort.
I've seen these people, how they look like and it looks like hell on Earth for them. That's what kind of crippling loneliness childfree people are headed to in their old age.
I always make it a point to visit my immobile 87 year old grandmother as much as I can because she was just as involved in the effort of raising me as my parents were and she deserves my attention and support.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 10:54 pm to foshizzle
have fun dying of bedsores when your kids dont come check on you
Posted on 6/27/18 at 11:01 pm to Sentrius
quote:
That's what kind of crippling loneliness childfree people are headed to in their old age.
You forget that many of those childfree people have nieces and nephews. Or they are godparents or like an aunt/uncle to children of close friends.
So what is stopping them from visiting them in the nursing home when they are older?
ETA: If I don't have a child my husband and I will just continue to spoil our nephew and nieces.
This post was edited on 6/27/18 at 11:04 pm
Posted on 6/27/18 at 11:13 pm to lsunurse
quote:
If I don't have a child my husband and I will just continue to spoil our nephew and nieces.
Spoiling will only you get so far and its impact will become more diluted as time passes.
Sure you can do that but it will still be nothing like the connection that you would have in raising your own child for better or worse and in cases like mine, a grandchild. That's real love.
You can't spoil your way to a deep connection and bond like that.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 11:18 pm to Sentrius
Just saying...if you want to use the whole..."if you don't have kids no one will care for you when you are old" that just isn't always the case.
Ex: My dad's aunt...we visited her on a very regular basis when she was living on her own. My dad growing up was very close to this aunt and maintained this closeness throughout her life. My dad would do anything he could to help her out. She treated us like her own grandchildren as well.
Granted...in that example..she did actually have kids (and grandkids) of her own. But they all lived out of state (most in New York) and very seldom visited her(maybe once a year if that).
Ex: My dad's aunt...we visited her on a very regular basis when she was living on her own. My dad growing up was very close to this aunt and maintained this closeness throughout her life. My dad would do anything he could to help her out. She treated us like her own grandchildren as well.
Granted...in that example..she did actually have kids (and grandkids) of her own. But they all lived out of state (most in New York) and very seldom visited her(maybe once a year if that).
Posted on 6/27/18 at 11:18 pm to Sentrius
quote:
Just imagine being one of those old people in the nursing home that never had children to help care for them or even visit them and who's spouse died earlier or is too much of a comatose vegetable to be of any comfort.
Is being in a damn nursing home a worthwhile life anyway? I don't have kids and if I ever get to that point I probably will be looking for a way to end it all.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 11:21 pm to Globetrotter747
quote:
Is being in a damn nursing home a worthwhile life anyway?
It certainly can be.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 11:22 pm to Pecker
That is just awful
Posted on 6/27/18 at 11:26 pm to lsunurse
quote:
.if you want to use the whole..."if you don't have kids no one will care for you when you are old" that just isn't always the case.
But will often be the case.
I'm seeing this play out with my mom and her siblings with my grandma, their mom, who just had a very big health emergency and is in rehab at the home and they are very involved and I couldn't be more proud of them.
I have anecdotal evidence too.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 11:27 pm to Pecker
feminism has ruined women
Posted on 6/27/18 at 11:28 pm to Globetrotter747
quote:
Is being in a damn nursing home a worthwhile life anyway? I don't have kids and if I ever get to that point I probably will be looking for a way to end it all.
It's really a commentary on how much you prize trivial pleasures and having a childlike mind as an adult that just can't be bothered is directly and indirectly proportional to how you end your life in a very depressing way.
Posted on 6/28/18 at 1:11 am to Landmass
quote:
She sounds like a vapid kunt.
FIFY
Also, successful folks find a way. Complainers find an excuse.
If the shoe were on the other foot, this ignorant breeder would be lamenting the sacrifice of her fertile years on an unfulfilling, and likely mediocre, career.
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