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re: Regretting motherhood: What have I done to my life?

Posted on 6/28/18 at 8:42 am to
Posted by lsupride87
Member since Dec 2007
111521 posts
Posted on 6/28/18 at 8:42 am to
quote:

Scruffy couldn’t be happier and he is pretty poor.

This is why social media sucks


We have a physician trying to tell us he is poor


Get your weak shite out of here Scruffy
Posted by Displaced
Member since Dec 2011
33051 posts
Posted on 6/28/18 at 8:49 am to
Which makes me sad because you and pecker are exactly the type of people that the world need having children (not necessarily together).

We need educated, family oriented, hardworking, intelligent, good looking people to have children instead of onlythe dregs of society pumping out 5-6 monsters. That is how we get Idiocracy.
Posted by lsupride87
Member since Dec 2007
111521 posts
Posted on 6/28/18 at 8:51 am to
quote:

Which makes me sad because you and pecker are exactly the type of people that the world need having children (not necessarily together).

Disagree


Not saying LL and Pecker arent well adjusted good to society people, but they dont want kids because they dont want to give up their fun (which there is nothing wrong with)


When those types begrudgingly have kids, they frequently just throw money at the kid to get them out their hair and create a whole different type of monster
This post was edited on 6/28/18 at 8:52 am
Posted by Displaced
Member since Dec 2011
33051 posts
Posted on 6/28/18 at 9:01 am to
I guess I should have said they are the types we should want to want to have kids.

I'm in full support of people choosing to not have children if that is there will, but I do wish successful people wanted to have children.
Posted by LouisianaLady
Member since Mar 2009
83035 posts
Posted on 6/28/18 at 9:22 am to
It's more than just fun, but sure fun is part of it.

It is the way you entire day to day changes. And TBH, I think it is pretty fricked up that more people don't speak about that stuff. We should be encouraging people to weigh the decision more carefully and not pretending your life doesn't do a complete 180 just so that our friends will cave and have kids.

I don't consider the ability to travel for my job, to work uninterrupted at any time of the day, to sleep as long as my body needs, to buy groceries or clothing without a screaming child, etc. to be "fun". I consider it to be conveniences in daily life that I don't take for granted and that I appreciate not having lost.

I'm not at all deluded by social media and movie depictions of parenthood .. and you as a parent should LOVE that. I'm not stupid enough to claim I can't travel or whatever. Sure I can still travel. It isn't about the big shite like that. It is the small shite. The every single day aspects of my life.
This post was edited on 6/28/18 at 9:28 am
Posted by Pecker
Rocky Top
Member since May 2015
16674 posts
Posted on 6/28/18 at 9:24 am to
quote:

It’s because I know the social media picture of being a parent isn’t anything close to what being a parent actually is.. and the reality of parenthood is what people should be paying attention to in order to ensure they make the right decision and give those kids the life they deserve


Agree with all of this.

Too many people have children for reasons that ultimately don’t benefit the child. To me, having a child isn’t about living vicariously through a smaller version of yourself. It’s work. It’s development. I don’t envision parenting as seeing how good my kid can be at baseball. I see it as a psychological developmental process. Constant learning and teaching.

You rarely hear parents describe their ultimate goal as preparing the child for life outside of their home. But that’s what the goal should be. That’s not endless travel-sports tournaments and giving a kid video games so he’ll be quiet. Most kids turn 18 and have no idea what to do with their lives because the parents ignored the difficult, not-so-fun parts of parenting.
Posted by TH03
Mogadishu
Member since Dec 2008
172004 posts
Posted on 6/28/18 at 9:25 am to
quote:

When those types begrudgingly have kids, they frequently just throw money at the kid to get them out their hair and create a whole different type of monster


These types would be bad parents even if they wanted kids.

I don’t want kids right now because my wife and I enjoy spontaneous trips and other things that we wouldn’t be able to do with a kid right now. That doesn’t mean that if we got pregnant tomorrow, we wouldn’t put our kid first and be as good of parents as we would if we planned for a child.
Posted by CelticDog
Member since Apr 2015
42867 posts
Posted on 6/28/18 at 9:31 am to
Some of it is boring.

Its expensive.

The hours are grueling.

Social life and even intimate time must be arranged.

Most often, social life is when parents have kids at kids activity.


And many heart warming events.
I remind myself of the cone head dad.
This post was edited on 6/28/18 at 9:34 am
Posted by lsupride87
Member since Dec 2007
111521 posts
Posted on 6/28/18 at 9:39 am to
quote:

I don’t want kids right now because my wife and I enjoy spontaneous trips and other things that we wouldn’t be able to do with a kid right now. That doesn’t mean that if we got pregnant tomorrow, we wouldn’t put our kid first and be as good of parents as we would if we planned for a child.


Agreed

I am just saying I dont think it would be a good thing if successful people who dont want kids at all started having them



Also, I think truly not wanting kids is an interesting thing. Procreation is our second strongest biological trait, and we have people suppressing that for whatever reason


Should it be looked at as a "mental issue." Not necessarily bad

I expect alot of fire to be spit my way, but supressing other natural human biological traits on this board is considered mental illnesses
Posted by TH03
Mogadishu
Member since Dec 2008
172004 posts
Posted on 6/28/18 at 9:42 am to
Oh we definitely want kids, just want to be selfish for a bit. We’ve already talked to my wife’s OBGYN about it.

It’s just a lot easier to board the dogs for a weekend trip somewhere when we plan it on a Thursday afternoon.
Posted by lsupride87
Member since Dec 2007
111521 posts
Posted on 6/28/18 at 9:44 am to
quote:

Oh we definitely want kids, just want to be selfish for a bit. We’ve already talked to my wife’s OBGYN about it.

Yeh I am not really trying to call people out


But overall the OT likes to call going against biology a "mental illness"


Just for conversation starters on this slow thursday morning, is not wanting children not what we would consider going against biology?
Posted by LouisianaLady
Member since Mar 2009
83035 posts
Posted on 6/28/18 at 9:44 am to
I think we’ve reached a point in our society where biological traits don’t always fall first in line.

Our lives as human beings in today’s world are quite different than the first ever humans. I don’t think you can really compare the two. Nature vs nurture and all that shite. We’ve developed beyond biological traits in numerous facets of life, so it isn’t really all that odd that procreation is one of them.
Posted by lsupride87
Member since Dec 2007
111521 posts
Posted on 6/28/18 at 9:45 am to
quote:

Our lives as human beings in today’s world are quite different than the first ever humans. I don’t think you can really compare the two. Nature vs nurture and all that shite. We’ve developed beyond biological traits in numerous facets of life, so it isn’t really all that odd that procreation is one of them.


Wonderful answer


Seriously, that is one of the best replies I have ever gotten on this site



I would agree with you
Posted by HoustonChick86
Catalina Wine Mixer
Member since Dec 2009
59239 posts
Posted on 6/28/18 at 9:50 am to
quote:

Should it be looked at as a "mental issue."

Someone not wanting kids does not mean they have a mental issue.
Posted by lsupride87
Member since Dec 2007
111521 posts
Posted on 6/28/18 at 9:55 am to
quote:

Someone not wanting kids does not mean they have a mental issue.
Work with me here

Being gay or trans is often described as a mental illness on here because the person is "sick" for going against their biology


Not wanting kids is going against basic human traits and biology so I am asking those people who define the above would they also define not wanting children as a mental illness
Posted by NIH
Member since Aug 2008
122900 posts
Posted on 6/28/18 at 9:57 am to
Muh Career

No one will care about your career or the work you did when you retire. Absolutely no one. Probably one of the most short sighted reasons for not having kids.
Posted by mikelbr
Baton Rouge
Member since Apr 2008
49072 posts
Posted on 6/28/18 at 9:58 am to
quote:

We have a physician trying to tell us he is poor


Get your weak shite out of here Scruffy


He's still young as frick probably paying them loans off.

MDs can throw that "I'm poor" shite around like Ben Simmons or LF7 could in HS b/c they know what they got coming.
This post was edited on 6/28/18 at 9:58 am
Posted by HoustonChick86
Catalina Wine Mixer
Member since Dec 2009
59239 posts
Posted on 6/28/18 at 9:58 am to
I guess I see where you are coming from. I've just never been someone who thinks being gay or trans is a mental illness.
Posted by lsupride87
Member since Dec 2007
111521 posts
Posted on 6/28/18 at 9:59 am to
quote:

I guess I see where you are coming from. I've just never been someone who thinks being gay or trans is a mental illness.

Yeh I mean I am speaking about the OT here

Posted by lsunurse
Member since Dec 2005
129146 posts
Posted on 6/28/18 at 10:00 am to
quote:

No one will care about your career or the work you did when you retire. Absolutely no one.


Strongly disagree. Pretty sure all of mankind is thankful for the work of Alexander Fleming long after his death.

Psst....he was the first to discover penicillin.
This post was edited on 6/28/18 at 10:01 am
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