re: Recent drug addiction in family

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Recent drug addiction in family

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My friend, I hate to tell you but from my own experience with a close relative and the others I spoke with who told me their own stories of addiction, there's a very high chance the story does not end well.

When someone truly gets addicted, it can just leave a trail of destruction behind and even when they "get better", it's still hovering around in the area like a vulture ready to swoop back in for the kill.

If you can, see if there's a way to try to get them help, but the only way they will get truly well is to wake up and help themselves. Help where you might be able to but make sure it is at
a distance. Otherwise this cousin will bring your household grief and leave some of their path of destruction in your midst as well. Don't feel bad at all for your watchful state.

I agree that’s a great option. My wife helped raise this cousin so they have been close in the past. I agree 100% about not letting him live here. I’ll offer a hotel until he can get info a place. I just googled a few places close and found “The Shoulder”

LINK

Thanks for letting me thinking aloud.

He needs inpatient treatment OUT OF STATE, several states over from where he is now. He needs to loose his phone, social media, any contacts he has in his current life. He has to completely start over.

If you're even considering letting a known addict live with you BEFORE they've gone through treatment, then I'd love to be a fly on the wall during that conversation. It's one of those "Well, there's 5 different outcomes. Literally none of them end well."

There’s nothing wrong with letting him live there for a brief time but you would have to set some major boundaries and it could always end in a disaster.

Best option would be to get him in a treatment center.

Get a bank safety deposit box and put EVERYTHING of value that can fit inside it so he absolutely cannot get at it. Talking car titles to golf balls.

When dope calls he's gonna try to answer no matter what.

Chain down and padlock what doesn't fit in the bank box. GPS tracking tab other stuff too.

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Edit: He wants to live with us to “regroup.” Sorry, a lot going on

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If you value your family and sanity, don’t allow this.

Out of state, in patient rehab is the first steps here. If the cousin needs immediate lodging then perhaps a hotel. I’d HIGHLY HIGHLY advise against letting them stay with you. I’ve dealt with this with my brothers and closest friends and it never ends well in that regard. No matter how close you are, no matter what traits of loyalty or respect they’ve shown (even their whole lives) will not stop them from stealing from you. I put the likelihood of that happening at 100% and not any sort of deviation lower.

Things to prepare for:

I’ll start at the worst: death. It happens. I’ve had one friend overdose twice and able to be resuscitated, I’ve had others not so lucky. When you’re playing with this drug and it’s counterparts if they can’t find them it’s a huge risk.

Be prepared - if they’re not truly ready (and even if they are) - for a cycle of relapse. The BEST results I’ve seen is from people moving away and staying away. That in and of itself can be hard and a reason to use as well but I’ve also seen the most success from people who do that and forge ahead. If not they get into old friends and habits. Even if they’ve been clean for awhile that weekend visit can sometimes prove fatal. Not saying they can never return home but it’s going to be a battle they face every day. That shite is not going away.

I’m wary of even their use of the word “regroup” - to me that signifies they’re not ready for some life altering change that Is pretty much required for this.

Proceed with caution whatever you do, but do not let them live with you. If you’re wife raised this person then she’ll need to enact some tough love to help get them straight. If that person comes and lives with you not only will they steal from you, but their relationship with your wife may drive a wedge between yours with the potential bad scenarios that could play out and her feelings of care for this person.

This is going to fall under the category.
No good deed goes unpunished.

Has he detoxed from the opiates yet or will he be going through that while he regroups at your place?