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1
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:30 pm to MapGuy
quote:I would imagine the books the child is getting are not biographies...more save you from sin, washed in the blood kinda stuff.
Jesus was a real person whether you believe in him as being the Son of God or not. What if your child wants to believe, will you stop her?
I am a Christian, I do find it hard to understand that the OP has not shared his believe with either side of the family. Seems like a topic that would have come up prior to book giving.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:31 pm to Grassy1
1.5
so I have time before she starts asking questions about all this
just trying to be prepared because I know they are coming
so I have time before she starts asking questions about all this
just trying to be prepared because I know they are coming
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:31 pm to TheCaterpillar
quote:Fair enough.
He didn't say he was atheist. He just said he wasn't religious.
I'm hesitant to say "I'm still figuring it out" because there are so many that will tell her they have it all figured out.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:33 pm to Pettifogger
quote:
I'm a person of faith, but if I wasn't and wanted my kids to make their own choice
Not that you meant it this way, but it sounds like you are saying that you would only want your kid to make their own choice IF you were NOT a person of faith.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:34 pm to Salmon
quote:
just trying to raise a child differently than how you were raised, and basically how the vast majority of the people around are raising their children...its hard.
Funny, we're on the opposite side and have the same issue.
Maybe we should swap circles of influence?
This post was edited on 12/29/14 at 1:35 pm
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:36 pm to Salmon
I grew up in a sort of non religious family with a religious extended family. My mom is kind of religious. She considers herself a Christian, but throughout much of my childhood, she didn't really push it very much by us not really regularly attending church. My Dad wasn't religious at all although I think he appreciated some of the tradition aspects of it.
I remember my paternal grandparents would ask about our attending church, and I would lie about it because it was really awkward for me.
I think allowing your daughter to be exposed to it isn't the worst thing in the world. There are things to be learned from knowing about other people's beliefs and why they think the way they do. It will help her make her eventual decisions for herself in terms of religion. Just answer questions honestly as to what your opinions are without being forceful and demanding. She will end up having her own ideas about that stuff anyway just like the rest of us.
I would also continue to keep your and your wife's views private as much as possible from the extended family. I guess that's the difficult part. It a shitty lesson to have to teach that you have to keep secrets from your family, but it's also a true in many contexts these sorts of conversations with outsiders lead to no good.
Ultimately it will end up being confusing to her, but I guess this is just one of those confusing parts of life.
I remember my paternal grandparents would ask about our attending church, and I would lie about it because it was really awkward for me.
I think allowing your daughter to be exposed to it isn't the worst thing in the world. There are things to be learned from knowing about other people's beliefs and why they think the way they do. It will help her make her eventual decisions for herself in terms of religion. Just answer questions honestly as to what your opinions are without being forceful and demanding. She will end up having her own ideas about that stuff anyway just like the rest of us.
I would also continue to keep your and your wife's views private as much as possible from the extended family. I guess that's the difficult part. It a shitty lesson to have to teach that you have to keep secrets from your family, but it's also a true in many contexts these sorts of conversations with outsiders lead to no good.
Ultimately it will end up being confusing to her, but I guess this is just one of those confusing parts of life.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:41 pm to TheCaterpillar
quote:
I'm agnostic. Meaning I have no clue what the frick is out there and admit that.
actually you are probably an atheist. an atheist is someone who does not actively believe in god.
Almost everyone is agnostic, meaning when pressed they will say - well anything is possible.
To the OP, good luck with that. And you are under no obligation to share both sides of the story, if you want to go that route you should show them every religion - christian, islam, judism, hindu, etc.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:42 pm to Salmon
Even if you don't believe, it's ok for your kids to read the bible and learn about religions. Just keep an open mind and encourage them to the same. If they enjoy it, you can encourage them to read religious texts from other religions. They may decide that their faith belongs to one or another. Or, they may just find them fascinating and have their atheist lives enriched by having read them. No matter what, it can be a great learning opportunity for your children.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:42 pm to tigerfoot
quote:
I am a Christian, I do find it hard to understand that the OP has not shared his believe with either side of the family. Seems like a topic that would have come up prior to book giving.
Parents are often times not exactly accepting if you tell them you are an atheist. Or non believer. In fact, having done exactly that - they freak the frick out.
My mother conveniently forgets I am an atheist at least once a year. Complete denial and she is pretty open to different ideas.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:43 pm to Salmon
oh, the questions come quick.
My daughter is 13, and we've had much better communication that I had with my parents. I try to encourage it, always.
But I've tried to protect her innocence as long as possible. Let her be a kid. Girls start worrying early.
I find vague, positive answers good.
And in reality, shouldn't our desire to know/understand where we came from, and where we're going, and other important matters, be a life-long goal to acquire? It's mine, anyway.
Oh yea, the discussion with your/her parents... that's a different deal entirely!
My daughter is 13, and we've had much better communication that I had with my parents. I try to encourage it, always.
But I've tried to protect her innocence as long as possible. Let her be a kid. Girls start worrying early.
I find vague, positive answers good.
And in reality, shouldn't our desire to know/understand where we came from, and where we're going, and other important matters, be a life-long goal to acquire? It's mine, anyway.
Oh yea, the discussion with your/her parents... that's a different deal entirely!
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:44 pm to Peazey
quote:
I guess that's the difficult part. It a shitty lesson to have to teach that you have to keep secrets from your family, but it's also a true in many contexts these sorts of conversations with outsiders lead to no good.
This might be the most beta thing I've ever read on the OT.
For something as undeniably core to who we are as faith/non-belief, if you can't maturely state what you are and stand up to it, you're spineless. This kind of person baffles me.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:45 pm to Hester Carries
quote:
Not that you meant it this way, but it sounds like you are saying that you would only want your kid to make their own choice IF you were NOT a person of faith.
My kids will make their own choices. But they'll be raised in a religious household. They'll be told that we practice Christianity, but will eventually have to accept our faith as their own (on their own accord).
I won't tell them that Christianity is on the same level as other faiths, just like I won't instruct them that Alabama is a viable choice for a college football program, or that being a Cardinals fan is ok, etc. Now if they ultimately become an atheist, or worse, an Alabama or Cards fan, I'll let them know they're still loved.
This post was edited on 12/29/14 at 1:46 pm
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:46 pm to Meauxjeaux
quote:
if you can't maturely state what you are and stand up to it, you're spineless. This kind of person baffles me.
oh I'm definitely a coward when it comes to telling my parents my beliefs
as someone who values and loves their family greatly, I'm horrified that they may disown me and my family if I did tell them my beliefs
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:47 pm to Salmon
quote:
with my daughter getting a bible, bible story books, and a few other religious items for Christmas from the grandparents.
The nerve of them bringing religion into a celebration of Jesus' birthday.
Only kidding. I think I would just say thank you and not make a big deal out of it. If she wants to know more she'll ask.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:47 pm to Meauxjeaux
quote:
For something as undeniably core to who we are as faith/non-belief, if you can't maturely state what you are and stand up to it, you're spineless. This kind of person baffles me.
i know someone whose parents stopped talking to him after he told him he didn't believe in god. no shite.
many people, including a shite ton of christians, viscerally hate atheists. You can see that in this thread where people say they don't believe, but aren't atheists. Not believing in god makes you an atheist, but atheist are probably the most hated sub group in society after pedophiles and alabama fans.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:48 pm to Peazey
quote:
I would also continue to keep your and your wife's views private as much as possible from the extended family
I disagree with this. We don't evangelize our non-belief, but I see no reason to hide it either. We never "came out" as atheists to our families but we've never made any effort to hide it either. The only one that's ever asked me outright was my mother. She asked me if we were going to church on Easter one year and I said "No. We don't plan to". She said "Why not?" and I said "We don't go any other time, why would this Sunday be any different?" and she asked " Do you believe in God?" and I said "No". All she said was "Oh. I didn't know that".
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:50 pm to Salmon
I'll be allowing my kids to make up their own mind by giving them information and encouraging them to read the source material. I tend to believe that most educated adults would choose skepticism if not for being "indoctrinated" as children, but I also don't have any inherent problems with belief so if they choose to follow a certain faith it's fine with me.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:52 pm to Salmon
quote:
Salmon
W0364729@selu.edu
E-mail me your address, I've got a good book on the subject that I found healpful when running into this dilemma myself that you're welcome to have.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:53 pm to Salmon
You could always try and balance the information she's getting.
Grandparents got her a bible? Get her a copy of this:
Grandparents got her a bible? Get her a copy of this:
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