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re: Raising a child in a non religious home with a very religious extended family
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:15 pm to GrammarKnotsi
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:15 pm to GrammarKnotsi
quote:
ETA: My kids finished eating their Christmas dinner and my dad told them to clean their plates..My oldest, respectfully told him how unhealthy just eating to finish was..
Go you! As someone who was raised with parents who forced me to eat far past the point of being full, this makes my heart happy to read.
1
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:15 pm to Salmon
quote:
when they sit my daughter down to pray to Jesus and she says "who is Jesus?"
If she goes to school up there, she will know who Jesus is..
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:17 pm to Salmon
Your kid is 6. It's only a matter of time before the beans are spilled about you and your wife not believing in God. I just don't understand why you wouldn't make you feelings known. That seems like the easiest approach to me.
You know the shite is going to hit the fan if your family has to find out through this kid that you don't believe in God. Trust me.
You know the shite is going to hit the fan if your family has to find out through this kid that you don't believe in God. Trust me.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:17 pm to Salmon
Do you have normal, religious friends?
I'm a person of faith, but if I wasn't and wanted my kids to make their own choice, I'd probably try and have them in a mixed group of friends with kids who grow up in church.
First, if they're solid families of faith, your kid certainly won't be hurt by running with that crowd. Second, faith will be accessible, but not forced. Of course, I'm referring to well adjusted kids from those families.
I'm a person of faith, but if I wasn't and wanted my kids to make their own choice, I'd probably try and have them in a mixed group of friends with kids who grow up in church.
First, if they're solid families of faith, your kid certainly won't be hurt by running with that crowd. Second, faith will be accessible, but not forced. Of course, I'm referring to well adjusted kids from those families.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:18 pm to Salmon
quote:
who is Jesus?"
Some people believe......
We are catholic but I read up about other faiths and my kids are interested in the history of everything. They are too young to make big decisions now but when they get older I'll feel better knowing they made a well informed decision on faith.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:18 pm to lsuwontonwrap
quote:
Your kid is 6.
actually she is 1.5
I'm just worrying about the future
quote:
You know the shite is going to hit the fan if your family has to find out through this kid that you don't believe in God. Trust me.
I know...that is probably what I'm more worried about as I've avoided this for as long as I can
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:20 pm to Salmon
quote:
I just worry how she will handle it
I wouldn't worry too much.
My daughters went to Lutheran pre-school, have been to church countless times with multiple friends of different denominations, and been to several church camps. I think the first time our beliefs came up was after the in-laws had been at our house for dinner and said grace before eating. My oldest asked me later why we never said grace. I explained that it was something that is important to her grandparents but not to us.
My oldest is 15 now and completely non-religious. Oddly enough, most of her friends are devout mormons. (They seem to be the most accepting of her non-belief).
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:20 pm to Salmon
quote:
I know...that is probably what I'm more worried about as I've avoided this for as long as I can
right.. you are not wanting to have your mom and dad "corner" you about your beliefs.
fear of hurting your parents and letting them down.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:21 pm to LouisianaLady
I agree with the finish the plate nonsense. I think our parents were raised to do this bc their parents were. Depression and all that.
I also do not believe in wasting food so my kids make their own plates and if they don't finish that's fine but they will see that food at the next meal
I also do not believe in wasting food so my kids make their own plates and if they don't finish that's fine but they will see that food at the next meal
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:21 pm to Broski
quote:
Let your daughter make the decision.
This.
Let her have the books and if she asks about them say "Some people believe (soandso)."
If she asks what you believe just say you're still figuring it out and that "everyone has a right to choose to believe in what they want, even you"
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:22 pm to Green Chili Tiger
quote:
(They seem to be the most accepting of her non-belief).
Good friend of mine is mormon, and the same. Girl is the most tolerant religious person I've ever known.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:22 pm to Sir Drinksalot
quote:
You explain to your kids that everyone is different and that when they they get old enough they can make their own decisions on faith, but to always respect the faith of others.
Let them know the bible is important to grandma and so she should appreciate the gift. When she learns to read let her read it if she wants.
This.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:24 pm to TheCaterpillar
quote:
If she asks what you believe just say you're still figuring it out
So you want him to lie?
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:24 pm to TIGRLEE
quote:
You really struggle with life it appears.
I question those that don't, at least to some degree.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:25 pm to Salmon
quote:
Salmon
You seem to have alot of questions about basics of raising a child.
Since it is a daughter, it's that much more complicated.
My best advice to you is this: Continually reinforce in her the idea of making good decisions and seeking "healthy" relationships.
By healthy relationships, I mean ones that build her up and have her interests at heart.
These can come from both religious and non-religious people.
Good luck to you... having a daughter friggin rocks.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:26 pm to Green Chili Tiger
quote:
So you want him to lie?
He didn't say he was atheist. He just said he wasn't religious.
I'm agnostic. Meaning I have no clue what the frick is out there and admit that.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:26 pm to LouisianaLady
quote:
Girl is the most tolerant religious person I've ever known.
I know a bunch and they really seem to walk the walk when it comes to tolerance.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:27 pm to Salmon
quote:
your boys don't ask a lot of questions?
not really. I don't really think associate religion with me or their mom, so to ask us doesn't register. sometimes, we'll pass by a church or something in the car and my oldest will want to take a picture of it to show his grandmother.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:29 pm to Salmon
quote:
but how easy is that in reality?
Oh and, you have a daughter. Ain't nothing going to be easy about it.
:insertdealwithitgifhere:
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:29 pm to Meauxjeaux
quote:
Good luck to you... having a daughter friggin rocks.
thanks man
just trying to raise a child differently than how you were raised, and basically how the vast majority of the people around are raising their children...its hard. Not many people to ask for guidance so unfortunately sometimes I have to turn to strangers on the internet
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