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re: Raising a child in a non religious home with a very religious extended family

Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:15 pm to
Posted by LouisianaLady
Member since Mar 2009
81329 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:15 pm to
quote:

ETA: My kids finished eating their Christmas dinner and my dad told them to clean their plates..My oldest, respectfully told him how unhealthy just eating to finish was..



Go you! As someone who was raised with parents who forced me to eat far past the point of being full, this makes my heart happy to read.
Posted by GrammarKnotsi
Member since Feb 2013
9446 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:15 pm to
quote:

when they sit my daughter down to pray to Jesus and she says "who is Jesus?"



If she goes to school up there, she will know who Jesus is..
Posted by lsuwontonwrap
Member since Aug 2012
34147 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:17 pm to
Your kid is 6. It's only a matter of time before the beans are spilled about you and your wife not believing in God. I just don't understand why you wouldn't make you feelings known. That seems like the easiest approach to me.

You know the shite is going to hit the fan if your family has to find out through this kid that you don't believe in God. Trust me.
Posted by Pettifogger
Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone
Member since Feb 2012
79533 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:17 pm to
Do you have normal, religious friends?

I'm a person of faith, but if I wasn't and wanted my kids to make their own choice, I'd probably try and have them in a mixed group of friends with kids who grow up in church.

First, if they're solid families of faith, your kid certainly won't be hurt by running with that crowd. Second, faith will be accessible, but not forced. Of course, I'm referring to well adjusted kids from those families.
Posted by Sir Drinksalot
Member since Aug 2005
16759 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:18 pm to
quote:

who is Jesus?"


Some people believe......

We are catholic but I read up about other faiths and my kids are interested in the history of everything. They are too young to make big decisions now but when they get older I'll feel better knowing they made a well informed decision on faith.
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83695 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:18 pm to
quote:

Your kid is 6.


actually she is 1.5

I'm just worrying about the future

quote:

You know the shite is going to hit the fan if your family has to find out through this kid that you don't believe in God. Trust me.


I know...that is probably what I'm more worried about as I've avoided this for as long as I can
Posted by Green Chili Tiger
Lurking the Tin Foil Hat Board
Member since Jul 2009
47991 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:20 pm to
quote:

I just worry how she will handle it


I wouldn't worry too much.

My daughters went to Lutheran pre-school, have been to church countless times with multiple friends of different denominations, and been to several church camps. I think the first time our beliefs came up was after the in-laws had been at our house for dinner and said grace before eating. My oldest asked me later why we never said grace. I explained that it was something that is important to her grandparents but not to us.

My oldest is 15 now and completely non-religious. Oddly enough, most of her friends are devout mormons. (They seem to be the most accepting of her non-belief).
Posted by MapGuy
I was born,I grew older,I'm here
Member since May 2010
37439 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:20 pm to
quote:

I know...that is probably what I'm more worried about as I've avoided this for as long as I can

right.. you are not wanting to have your mom and dad "corner" you about your beliefs.

fear of hurting your parents and letting them down.
Posted by Sir Drinksalot
Member since Aug 2005
16759 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:21 pm to
I agree with the finish the plate nonsense. I think our parents were raised to do this bc their parents were. Depression and all that.

I also do not believe in wasting food so my kids make their own plates and if they don't finish that's fine but they will see that food at the next meal
Posted by TheCaterpillar
Member since Jan 2004
76774 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:21 pm to
quote:

Let your daughter make the decision.



This.

Let her have the books and if she asks about them say "Some people believe (soandso)."

If she asks what you believe just say you're still figuring it out and that "everyone has a right to choose to believe in what they want, even you"


Posted by LouisianaLady
Member since Mar 2009
81329 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:22 pm to
quote:

(They seem to be the most accepting of her non-belief).



Good friend of mine is mormon, and the same. Girl is the most tolerant religious person I've ever known.
Posted by TheCaterpillar
Member since Jan 2004
76774 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:22 pm to
quote:

You explain to your kids that everyone is different and that when they they get old enough they can make their own decisions on faith, but to always respect the faith of others.

Let them know the bible is important to grandma and so she should appreciate the gift. When she learns to read let her read it if she wants.



This.
Posted by Green Chili Tiger
Lurking the Tin Foil Hat Board
Member since Jul 2009
47991 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:24 pm to
quote:

If she asks what you believe just say you're still figuring it out


So you want him to lie?
Posted by Grassy1
Member since Oct 2009
6278 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:24 pm to
quote:

You really struggle with life it appears.


I question those that don't, at least to some degree.
Posted by Meauxjeaux
98836 posts including my alters
Member since Jun 2005
40520 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:25 pm to
quote:

Salmon


You seem to have alot of questions about basics of raising a child.

Since it is a daughter, it's that much more complicated.

My best advice to you is this: Continually reinforce in her the idea of making good decisions and seeking "healthy" relationships.

By healthy relationships, I mean ones that build her up and have her interests at heart.

These can come from both religious and non-religious people.

Good luck to you... having a daughter friggin rocks.
Posted by TheCaterpillar
Member since Jan 2004
76774 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:26 pm to
quote:

So you want him to lie?




He didn't say he was atheist. He just said he wasn't religious.

I'm agnostic. Meaning I have no clue what the frick is out there and admit that.

Posted by Green Chili Tiger
Lurking the Tin Foil Hat Board
Member since Jul 2009
47991 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:26 pm to
quote:

Girl is the most tolerant religious person I've ever known.


I know a bunch and they really seem to walk the walk when it comes to tolerance.
Posted by 9th life
birmingham
Member since Sep 2009
7310 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:27 pm to
quote:

your boys don't ask a lot of questions?


not really. I don't really think associate religion with me or their mom, so to ask us doesn't register. sometimes, we'll pass by a church or something in the car and my oldest will want to take a picture of it to show his grandmother.

Posted by Meauxjeaux
98836 posts including my alters
Member since Jun 2005
40520 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:29 pm to
quote:

but how easy is that in reality?


Oh and, you have a daughter. Ain't nothing going to be easy about it.

:insertdealwithitgifhere:
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83695 posts
Posted on 12/29/14 at 1:29 pm to
quote:

Good luck to you... having a daughter friggin rocks.




thanks man

just trying to raise a child differently than how you were raised, and basically how the vast majority of the people around are raising their children...its hard. Not many people to ask for guidance so unfortunately sometimes I have to turn to strangers on the internet
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