- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
Question for OT Parents
Posted on 5/21/26 at 1:03 pm
Posted on 5/21/26 at 1:03 pm
Parents of the OT, I have a question. Before having children, what do people need to ask themselves? As far as what they need to expect and prepare themselves for before having children? The sacrifices, the finances, etc.? My wife and I are going to a fertility specialist next month and am hoping it leads to us finally having our first child. We both really want to be parents and are ready for the responsibility. I just want your take on maybe things you wish you had known before having kids and what advice you would give to first time parents. Thanks.
31
Posted on 5/21/26 at 1:06 pm to SaintlyTiger88
One child won't change your life nearly as much as three or four.
With three, I never stop and I'm always broke.
I still wouldn't trade it for the world.
Good luck at the specialist.
Looking back, I couldn't imagine going through life without the experience.
Posted on 5/21/26 at 1:08 pm to SaintlyTiger88
quote:
what do people need to ask themselves? As far as what they need to expect and prepare themselves for before having children?
Are you prepared to have to get up after you just sat down 100x a day for the next 18 years?
Posted on 5/21/26 at 1:10 pm to SaintlyTiger88
It sounds like you are ready. You are dedicated enough to go to a fertility clinic and put forth money to have a child. Nothing anybody says here will give you that much advice because you just don't have a clue how it is going to be. It's going to be hard, but it is also the whole reason we are here. So, dive in, enjoy, and good luck.
Posted on 5/21/26 at 1:11 pm to Shexter
quote:
Good luck at the specialist.
Thanks
Posted on 5/21/26 at 1:11 pm to Salmon
Your life becomes about them from day one. It is great, but your life is now about them.
Posted on 5/21/26 at 1:12 pm to SaintlyTiger88
No amount of advice or planning will really prepare you for having a kid. There are a few reasons for this:
- everyone’s kids are different,
- everyone’s spouse is different,
- everyone’s own personal tolerances are different,
- the amount of work is not something someone can explain to you,
- the amount of love you feel is not something that can be described.
My wife and I did not plan our first child. I wasn’t even out of law school before she got pregnant, so neither of us were prepared in any sense. It was stressful, but I would never ever want to be in a world where I don’t have my daughter.
All that to say, whatever the sacrifice/ cost is—it’s worth it.
- everyone’s kids are different,
- everyone’s spouse is different,
- everyone’s own personal tolerances are different,
- the amount of work is not something someone can explain to you,
- the amount of love you feel is not something that can be described.
My wife and I did not plan our first child. I wasn’t even out of law school before she got pregnant, so neither of us were prepared in any sense. It was stressful, but I would never ever want to be in a world where I don’t have my daughter.
All that to say, whatever the sacrifice/ cost is—it’s worth it.
Posted on 5/21/26 at 1:13 pm to DestrehanTiger
quote:
It sounds like you are ready. You are dedicated enough to go to a fertility clinic and put forth money to have a child. Nothing anybody says here will give you that much advice because you just don't have a clue how it is going to be. It's going to be hard, but it is also the whole reason we are here. So, dive in, enjoy, and good luck.
I appreciate it! I agree, being a father is something I have wanted for a long time.
Posted on 5/21/26 at 1:15 pm to Salmon
As far as finances, know you will have to sacrifice those as well.
For example, today is my daughter's 13th bday, and I was just about to order something online for myself, when she comes strutting in house with several bags from Lululemon and Kenda Scott.
I sighed and simply deleted that online cart.
For example, today is my daughter's 13th bday, and I was just about to order something online for myself, when she comes strutting in house with several bags from Lululemon and Kenda Scott.
I sighed and simply deleted that online cart.
This post was edited on 5/21/26 at 1:16 pm
Posted on 5/21/26 at 1:15 pm to SaintlyTiger88
Trust your instincts to do what is right. Do not read or do not let your wife read too many parenting books or forums.
Definitely do not let your wife participate in the new mommy forums. They are fricking toxic.
Just make sure every sexism you make is with the child’s best long term interests in mind and you’ll be great.
Definitely do not let your wife participate in the new mommy forums. They are fricking toxic.
Just make sure every sexism you make is with the child’s best long term interests in mind and you’ll be great.
Posted on 5/21/26 at 1:16 pm to SaintlyTiger88
The first two years raising a child will be a defining time for your marriage. You’ll both be greatly tested and will see the worst (and hopefully the best) from each other. You’ll both see who your partner is as a person. It’ll either bring you closer or push you apart.
Posted on 5/21/26 at 1:16 pm to SaintlyTiger88
Throughout 99.9% of human history, no one “planned” to have kids. There are no prereqs, you’ll manage as you go along.
Posted on 5/21/26 at 1:17 pm to Shexter
quote:
With three, I never stop and I'm always broke.
Here here!
Ask yourself if you are ready to put your own wants/needs, your wife's wants/needs, your marital wants/needs, your financial wants/needs, and everything else you can think of behind the wants/needs of your child.
Best of luck with the treatment, it's the most rewarding thing I have done with my life.
This post was edited on 5/21/26 at 1:18 pm
Posted on 5/21/26 at 1:17 pm to SaintlyTiger88
Long days, short years.
Posted on 5/21/26 at 1:18 pm to SaintlyTiger88
My obvious advise would be to make sure you have a strong marriage before having kids. IMO, there will never be anything that makes you disagree more than the day to day raising of kids. We have 3, twins and a single, each different.
Kids will pit you against each other and can cause fights. Everything else can be figured out, the money, time, etc etc. But going to bed knowing that nothing will break you and your wife up will become important and comforting down the road.
Kids will pit you against each other and can cause fights. Everything else can be figured out, the money, time, etc etc. But going to bed knowing that nothing will break you and your wife up will become important and comforting down the road.
Posted on 5/21/26 at 1:18 pm to SaintlyTiger88
quote:
We both really want to be parents
In all honestly, this is really the only answer you need.
The love and wisdom will follow, trust me. More importantly, trust yourself and each other.
Here’s to you two having all the babies you want.
Posted on 5/21/26 at 1:20 pm to SaintlyTiger88
If you are good parent, the child will become your primary focus. That doesn't mean the child should be your ONLY focus. But kids will dominate your attention. Particularly your wife's if she is a good mom. Your adult social circle will likely change. You will associate less and less with people without kids, or the people with older kids at a different stage of life than yours, and start associating more with parents of kids your child's age.
In short, the "you" time diminishes. It's an adjustment. That said, you experience a degree of love you for another human being you never knew you were capable of. There have been very few moments in my life that I knew within the moment my life had changed. Seeing my oldest child open her eyes for the very first time was one of those moments. I was immediately hit with an overwhelming feeling of love I was not expecting, nor had ever felt before. Now, that feeling will shift and change to some degree as they get older and start to pull away from their whole world revolving around you. But as someone was never 100% "all in" on having children prior to doing so, I can't and don't want to imagine my life without them now.
In short, the "you" time diminishes. It's an adjustment. That said, you experience a degree of love you for another human being you never knew you were capable of. There have been very few moments in my life that I knew within the moment my life had changed. Seeing my oldest child open her eyes for the very first time was one of those moments. I was immediately hit with an overwhelming feeling of love I was not expecting, nor had ever felt before. Now, that feeling will shift and change to some degree as they get older and start to pull away from their whole world revolving around you. But as someone was never 100% "all in" on having children prior to doing so, I can't and don't want to imagine my life without them now.
Posted on 5/21/26 at 1:20 pm to SaintlyTiger88
In all seriousness.......
If you are not sure of the commitment, etc., adopt or foster a couple of dogs from the local animal shelter. It will in many ways require time and emotions like newborns.
With regards to kids, you will do fine. You just have to give up alot of 'me and we' stuff. You & your wife's life for the next two decades will or should revolve around your kids. BUT, the best part of kids is in a couple of decades hopefully you will be BLESSED with GRANDKIDS. It is the BEST feeling in the world. Nothing else comes close. Prayers for you and your wife!
If you are not sure of the commitment, etc., adopt or foster a couple of dogs from the local animal shelter. It will in many ways require time and emotions like newborns.
With regards to kids, you will do fine. You just have to give up alot of 'me and we' stuff. You & your wife's life for the next two decades will or should revolve around your kids. BUT, the best part of kids is in a couple of decades hopefully you will be BLESSED with GRANDKIDS. It is the BEST feeling in the world. Nothing else comes close. Prayers for you and your wife!
This post was edited on 5/21/26 at 1:21 pm
Posted on 5/21/26 at 1:22 pm to kjp811
quote:
Long days, short years.
Truest statement anyone has ever said about having children. The days can be long. But the years go by in a flash
Don't ever turn down an opportunity to take a photo/video
This post was edited on 5/21/26 at 1:23 pm
Posted on 5/21/26 at 1:22 pm to SaintlyTiger88
Will always remember the feeling when my wife told me she was pregnant with our first. “I’m going to be a Dad!” on repeat in my head for days. Just an awesome feeling!
Nothing better in this world, although I hear grandkids are way up there, too.
1. Love and care for them
2. Teach them
3. Make sure they are heard. Shown respect.
Behavior
4. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Always.
5. We spanked when big safety risk (ran into street) or they really tested 4. Found more 4, less 5. Can count on 1 hand the total spanks between both kids. Just not needed per 4.
6. None of that “1, 2, 3, 3.5” count BS when not behaving. If you 4, won’t need 6.
Finances
7. Have emergency fund filled up.
8. If can swing it, start putting aside $100-200 per month into Money Market or 529 account starting when born. Your future selves will thank me.
9. Read enough to prepare but don’t go overboard.
Immediate impact
10. Post partem is no joke. Take care of your wife.
11. And sleep will be deprived for months. Get some family help.
12. Don’t let the newborn diaper changes fool you. Those #2s will eventually smell rotten and knock you down. Clothespins!
Most important, don’t fret about being perfect parents. Be yourselves and be a good parenting team. Communicate!
And remember 4!
It’s awesome! Good luck to yall.
Nothing better in this world, although I hear grandkids are way up there, too.
1. Love and care for them
2. Teach them
3. Make sure they are heard. Shown respect.
Behavior
4. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Always.
5. We spanked when big safety risk (ran into street) or they really tested 4. Found more 4, less 5. Can count on 1 hand the total spanks between both kids. Just not needed per 4.
6. None of that “1, 2, 3, 3.5” count BS when not behaving. If you 4, won’t need 6.
Finances
7. Have emergency fund filled up.
8. If can swing it, start putting aside $100-200 per month into Money Market or 529 account starting when born. Your future selves will thank me.
9. Read enough to prepare but don’t go overboard.
Immediate impact
10. Post partem is no joke. Take care of your wife.
11. And sleep will be deprived for months. Get some family help.
12. Don’t let the newborn diaper changes fool you. Those #2s will eventually smell rotten and knock you down. Clothespins!
Most important, don’t fret about being perfect parents. Be yourselves and be a good parenting team. Communicate!
And remember 4!
It’s awesome! Good luck to yall.
This post was edited on 5/21/26 at 1:37 pm
Page 1 of 3
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News