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Lsupimp
Colorado Fan
Where is your Obama, now?
Member since Nov 2003
54760 posts
 Online 

re: Parent Problems looking for advice
You do NOT owe him a damn thing. Cut the fricking cord FAST and never look back . You owe it to your REAL family. Seriously, all that bull shite about allowing somebody to frick with you and be a shitstain out of guilt or some sense of moral responsibility is garbage. frick that guy. I say this with some level of experience. Protect your family man. Those two ladies over there Bro- that’s ALL that matters.

*No caps were hurt in producing this post


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40
GeorgeTheGreek
Michigan State Fan
Sparta, Greece
Member since Mar 2008
52259 posts
 Online 

re: Parent Problems looking for advice
Not at all. Tell him to kick rocks. You’re a man now, not his little boy. Don’t take that shite.


SwampBandit
LSU Fan
Livonia, La
Member since Jun 2016
1655 posts

re: Parent Problems looking for advice
I appreciate all the advice, I know what needs to happen I guess I just wanted to hear it from others that I'm not crazy


East Coast Band
Alabama Fan
Member since Nov 2010
34887 posts

re: Parent Problems looking for advice
Is your dad wealthy? Does he feel like people should listen to him because he has some money?

I'm sure you have pointed out specifically what he's done over and over, but has an excuse for everything. I'd have to lay it on the line and tell him no more. You've got a family to raise and you're bound not to screw it up like he did.
Much kudos to you. I've seen many a broken family lead to the next generation of a broken family.


Pettifogger
Atlanta Braves Fan
Member since Feb 2012
52230 posts

re: Parent Problems looking for advice
Cut him out. Your daughter will be fine.

My grandfather walked out on my grandmother, my dad and my aunts. My dad repeatedly turned down chances to reconnect because he never showed interest in the rest of the family he abandoned. When he was dying, they reached out to us and my parents told me to give me a chance to finally meet him if I wanted.

My dad didn't want to see the piece of shit, so why would I? He died, we move on. My dad is one of my heroes. My grandfather was just some guy with the same name.


SwampBandit
LSU Fan
Livonia, La
Member since Jun 2016
1655 posts

re: Parent Problems looking for advice
Nah he is broke as shite lol..

My best option would be moving away completely and starting over but it's hard to leave my job, the rest of my family, and everything I love besides him you know, but if shite gets to hectic I'm bouncing

We are in the process of moving towards central/st francisville which would but him a 30-45 minutes away but he won't know where I live


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SwampBandit
LSU Fan
Livonia, La
Member since Jun 2016
1655 posts

re: Parent Problems looking for advice
My grandfather was my hero and my dad is my heartache....

Hate to say it but he almost died a while back and while I was somewhat worried I really wasn't cause I know it would be a weight lifted of me and my families chest


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Arbengal
LSU Fan
Louisiana
Member since Sep 2008
954 posts

re: Parent Problems looking for advice
You sound like a very nice person to me and you appear to have been very careful to consider most all aspects of your situation. I can tell you are compassionate to your entire family. If you decide to let him see her set very strict ground rules that are simple and make sure he knows the consequences will be absolutely enforced if he violates any of them at all. If he screws up pull the plug. Stand up for yourself from this day forward and don’t ever back track again. Respect is earned! May God bless you and yours


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Fusaichi Pegasus
Lamar Fan
Meh He Co
Member since Oct 2010
12681 posts

re: Parent Problems looking for advice
Pm me his personal info
Man needs help or a serious arse whipping
I'll oblige


SwampBandit
LSU Fan
Livonia, La
Member since Jun 2016
1655 posts

re: Parent Problems looking for advice
Your right about the arse whooping, we have gotten into it twice, one time he got the best of me and threatened to kill me the other time I got some shots in but I'm terrified of if I ever got him in a spot where I could whale on him that I wouldn't stop, 26 years of control, mental abuse, him hurting my mom, talking shite about my wife, death threats, and whatever else would blow a fuse that I don't think I could stop... My wife has had to stop me from leaving my house because he had me so tired up because she was scared of me either dying or going to jail....I am a very respectable person but my wife, my kid, and my mom are my everything and if you frick with them in no a nice person anymore....I can get along with anybody and everybody and I think I turned out dang good for the way I was raised(thanks to my mom)

I have seen flashes of him in me when he stresses me out and I get in a bad mood and I say mean things but there is a difference, I will look at myself and say you were wrong jackass don't do it again you are not like him


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Wolfhound45
LSU Fan
Tampa
Member since Nov 2009
60107 posts

re: Parent Problems looking for advice
You owe him absolutely, positively nothing. You owe your wife, your daughter and your mother everything. Move on. It is not your responsibility to make him happy.


SwampBandit
LSU Fan
Livonia, La
Member since Jun 2016
1655 posts

re: Parent Problems looking for advice
Good night everybody I think it's time to get of TD for the night and go hold my girls and thanks for all the advice...I'm gonna continue to pray about it and do what's right for my family...God bless all of you..y'all don't know how much reading this helped


Sayre
San Jose
Member since Nov 2011
3522 posts

re: Parent Problems looking for advice
frick your piece of shite dad. Your child doesn't deserve to be exposed to that. You shouldn't even have to ask that question.

Don't feel any guilt. Not the first bit. Move on and deal with it.


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Sidicous
LSU Fan
Middle of Nowhere
Member since Aug 2015
6346 posts
 Online 

re: Parent Problems looking for advice
quote:

Parent Problems looking for advice


It all boils down to there are 2 types of people in the world: those who build you up and those who tear you down.

I refuse to tolerate the latter as life is too short. Only those who add something positive to my existence are allowed time, space, energy in my life. The rest kick rocks.


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Gris Gris
LSU Fan
OTIS!NO RULES FOR SAUCES ON STEAK!!
Member since Feb 2008
39069 posts

re: Parent Problems looking for advice
I pray you come to a decision that you feel is best for your family. This game is hard.


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crtodd
LSU Fan
Member since Nov 2005
1722 posts

re: Parent Problems looking for advice
quote:

y'all don't know how much reading this helped



I'm glad you posted about this, so that you could get some other viewpoints from people outside the situation.

Please remember, you are dealing with a person who can't control himself. All it could take is a split second, and he could do or say something to your child that could never be undone. There is a very valid reason you even had to ask whether you are wrong or not.

Follow your instincts, and don't back down from doing what is best for your family.
This post was edited on 3/9 at 2:33 am


CelticDog
LSU Fan
Member since Apr 2015
23537 posts

re: Parent Problems looking for advice
Control access.

Once a month in public park.

He can come to thanksgiving if his behavior meets your requirements. My requirement would be attends counseling.





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Spasweezy
LSU Fan
Madisonville
Member since Jan 2014
1661 posts

re: Parent Problems looking for advice
Your dad is a shitball. Flush him.


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ibldprplgld
USA Fan
Nola
Member since Feb 2008
10169 posts

re: Parent Problems looking for advice
That sucks man. I'm sorry to hear that. To your question: cut him out. You need to be the husband and father to your wife and daughter that we wasn't to your mom and you.

You need to protect your family from abuse, whether it's verbal or physical abuse and regardless of who is causing it. In my opinion your dad has had his chance, and even if he "improves" he will always have the chance of reverting to the a-hole he is.

Be the man for your family he wasn't.


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SwampBandit
LSU Fan
Livonia, La
Member since Jun 2016
1655 posts

re: Parent Problems looking for advice
I did a lot of thinking last night once the wife and kid went to bed and here is what i think about it and what my heart is feeling.

I honestly 100% do not think he would hurt my child in anyway..She is literally his life and all he has...all of his family is dead and gone and we are all he has....However my body cannot take the stress he puts on me...I have explained to him a thousand times that he fricked up his family and then decided not to move on once they divorced leaving us his only options to talk to and visit.. I have tried to explain that i have my own family and that i cant have him involved all the time because i am trying to grow my own family....I have explained to him that he is lucky i even associate with him with all the things he has done to me and my mom and said and done in front of my wife.....I have explained that he doesnt need to text me everyday because im the only person he has to talk too, that it is aggravating as shite that i cant go a day without hearing from him.

It all went down hill when he showed himself in front of my wife..She started hating him and any time i was around him just with myself or me and my little girl she would shut down and start stressing and it would drive me crazy causing us to argue then all the pressure he put on me about not seeing my little girl enough would come out (However i opened my eyes and seen how stupid i was for letting him bother me).... He constantly pressures me and tries to guilt trip me, he gets pissed when he doesnt see her enough, he is never grateful even when he was seeing her once a week it wasnt enough, but it was way to much for us, we started going two to three weeks and then he really started complaining like every day....It is a huge amount of stress on me and puts me between a rock and a hard place... I feel like i have gave him 100 to many chances and he still wont correct his actions or listen to my rules/boundaries.. When my child was first born he would just show up unannounced and stuff so that put a bad taste in me and my wifes mouth from the get go...

I truly dont understand how a person can do the things he has done and then think others are the problem or think that he deserves unlimited chances and time... I dont understand how he can not see that he needs help..He has been told by me and my mom that he needs to see somebody about his mental problems but that really makes him fly off the rail because he thinks he is normal...

Everything everybody has stated on here about talking to him has been done numerous times...My heart knows he needs her and that she is the only person that brings the good out of him but i cannot take the bickering, bit$$ing, the poor pitiful me guilt tripping, the idk how long i get left and so on..

My wifes dad passed away from cancer two years ago around Thanksgiving and he lived in west texas, the man knew he was going to die but not once did he complain about not seeing us enough, he didnt text everyday, he cherished his time with her and was positive about everything but yet i have my dad sitting over here throwing poor pitiful me stuff saying he doesnt have much longer left because he had a pace maker put in a year ago...
This post was edited on 3/9 at 7:22 am


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