re: Parent Problems looking for advice

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Literally told me 20 minutes ago im going to hell...I just told him it wouldnt be no different than the past 26 years of my life

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I'm a Christian man and I really do believe in second chances and forgiveness. But, HE needs to prove that he can control himself to YOU before he can ever continue to interact with YOUR family. As someone said earlier "you hold all of the cards". And, you do. Make the most of YOUR one chance to raise your daughter correctly and cut out any bad influence you can. You will only get one shot in raising your daughter and if your father can't conform and behave himself then cut him loose and move on. No guilt on your part. If your daughter wants to see him when she's grown, then that's her choice. But, you are the parent right now.

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Keep working on him. Not sure if you are a religious man but ask God to work on him.

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You dont know how often i pray about this, Im not going to sit here and sound like a huge religious person that goes to church every weekend but i do talk to God a lot, yea some nights i forget to pray but then i try to pray the next morning or throughout the day...God still has him here for a reason and i cannot figure it out..Im really starting to wonder if it is for me to build the strength to cut ties with him and make me stronger because i have just about tried everything..

Him acting himself in front of my wife is what put the icing on the cake because now she no longer trust him and does not like me around him because he brings negative energy which pushes me away from him and makes him angry/petty. I am beyond thankful for my wife opening my eyes for the hell i was in but it leads to me having to listen to him gripe about not having time and how we are horrible people and so on

Yall really dont know how much I appreciate yall taking time out of yalls day to post advice on this depressing subject

frick that guy. That is textbook emotional manipulation. He's still abusing you to this day. He doesn't deserve your family's love and time. Worry about your family and forget him.

block his number so you don't have to deal with his negativity and manipulation at all

people think we owe something to our parents but we truly don't

good for you bro

Cut ties. Manipulators manipulate. It's what they do. They don't give a frick about what their actions do to other people.

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"Dont respond to this text. Yesterday you said a lot of things that really cut through to my heart. You love me but dont like me and a lot of other things. Just to let you know i dont care any more i never have to see you or your family again. Hope my granddaughter doesnt have the mentality you have an the coldness in your heart so adios you no longer matter you have degraded me for the last time."

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Screen shot this and show it to him every time he tries to make amends. frick that guy.

I think you should seriously consider blocking his number. At the very least, block it for some period of time and see what happens aside from the bliss you will feel from not having to receive all those texts every day.

I guarantee he's waiting for a response to his text. It will eat him alive not to hear from your and the same when he finds his number blocked.

If, and this is a big IF, you decide to give him another try (not recommended), I would demand that you and he go to counseling together for a while before you even consider supervised visits with your daughter. No bargaining.

Your daughter will understand why you felt it best that she not have a relationship with her grandfather, when she gets older. My nieces do not know their grandfather on the other side. He's an arse and said terrible things to their mother, along with his 2nd wife. He pretty much deserted her. The girls all understand the situation now that they are older and have zero desire to see the man unless it's to tell him he's a jerk. They have other grandparents who are extremely active in their lives. They're not missing anything from that guy. It's simply like he's dead. It's actually not a big deal to them. It would be a lot harder to send him off when your daughter is older, so keep that in mind. Right now, she's young and resilient.

Good luck! Keep us updated. I'm truly interested in this and I'm sure you're not the only person who is having to make difficult decisions like this.

I can't understand why you still associate with this guy.

Someone's that negative of an influence, I just cut them out of my life. You just got a shitty draw in the father department. It happens.