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re: Office Bathroom Horror Stories
Posted on 10/20/17 at 2:32 pm to ImAComanche
Posted on 10/20/17 at 2:32 pm to ImAComanche
quote:
Sometimes I'm scared to walk into the restroom at work.
Every time! And, who wipes their arse, gets up and just strolls out without flushing their turd and shite paper party? Some nasty people in this world.
2
Posted on 10/20/17 at 2:34 pm to jlovel7
We had a mystery pooper. Some guy would leave a turd randomly throughout the plant an average of once a month. We have no cameras and have no idea who is doing it.
Posted on 10/20/17 at 2:35 pm to jlovel7
This one dude down the hall this week walked in our community floor bathroom while on the phone.
Sits down while on the phone.
Dropped 37.90 lbs of lunch into the toilet......while on the phone
Sits down while on the phone.
Dropped 37.90 lbs of lunch into the toilet......while on the phone
Posted on 10/20/17 at 2:38 pm to LSUBoo
quote:
Same dude would also use the urinal with his pants completely unbuttoned and down around his knees. WTF dude?
Is he 4 years old?
Posted on 10/20/17 at 2:40 pm to jlovel7
A client shat all over the seat, hid his stained drawers behind the toilet, and made his escape without telling anybody. We have it narrowed down to two or three suspects.
Posted on 10/20/17 at 2:41 pm to MardiGrasCajun
When you find out, let me know. I've never seen so much routine spray paint on a toilet in my life. I feel terrible for our janitor.
Those aren't even my most horrific story. That one is a story best told in person. 14 years later, I still get a gag reflex when I tell it.
Those aren't even my most horrific story. That one is a story best told in person. 14 years later, I still get a gag reflex when I tell it.
Posted on 10/20/17 at 2:42 pm to jlovel7
Co-worker busted a guy from another floor jerking off in one of the stalls.
Posted on 10/20/17 at 2:42 pm to tiggerthetooth
quote:
Not sure if serious.
If he was making it up, I am sure it would have more to it. Not sure why that's not believable.
Posted on 10/20/17 at 2:43 pm to slackster
Don’t lie, we all know you can’t see it.
Posted on 10/20/17 at 2:43 pm to jlovel7
One of our clients was complaining about the toilets clogging in a building that we built for him. Me and the boss head out there, and the office is all women. We ask him if the women are flushing their tampons/pads/whatever. He says that they aren't.
So, the boss heads to the cleanout closest to the building, and I open the cleanout closest to the street. He uses a water weenie (a rubber tube that connects to a garden hose, that swells and creates a lot of back pressure to clear clogged drains). Me and the buildings owner witness a football sized lump comprised of tampons, pads and shite come shooting down the pipe.
Moral of the story: the owner bought special garbage cans for the ladies to dispose of their feminine products.
So, the boss heads to the cleanout closest to the building, and I open the cleanout closest to the street. He uses a water weenie (a rubber tube that connects to a garden hose, that swells and creates a lot of back pressure to clear clogged drains). Me and the buildings owner witness a football sized lump comprised of tampons, pads and shite come shooting down the pipe.
Moral of the story: the owner bought special garbage cans for the ladies to dispose of their feminine products.
Posted on 10/20/17 at 2:45 pm to GetCocky11
quote:
Is he 4 years old?
No, he recently retired.
Posted on 10/20/17 at 2:46 pm to Jim Rockford
An elderly client got confused trying to leave our restroom. He thought the locked maintenance closet door was the exit, and that he could not get out. He yelled and yelled but no one heard him. So he started kicking in the sheetrock of the wall next to the door. Made a big hole. Eventually, someone came into the bathroom through the actual door, and he realized his error. To his credit, he came back to our office and admitted his mistake.
Posted on 10/20/17 at 2:48 pm to Jack Daniel
quote:
Don’t lie, we all know you can’t see it.
It was years ago.
Posted on 10/20/17 at 2:48 pm to jlovel7
when you walk in on a shy pooper who's clearly gritting his teeth with butthole clinched while you leisurely take a leak and wash up, pretend to walk out the door and wait for the fireworks... Kasploosh. Then walk out giggling like a school girl while giving the guy in the stall even more of a complex
Posted on 10/20/17 at 2:50 pm to boxcarbarney
quote:
water weenie
This roto rooter jargon made me chuckle ever so slightly
Posted on 10/20/17 at 2:52 pm to jlovel7
Not horror, but a couple of buddies sent a bottle rocket into the ladies bathroom, when a girl friend of theirs went in to do her business. It did not end well.. 
Posted on 10/20/17 at 2:54 pm to OweO
quote:
You would think the woman's bathroom would be clean, but i've heard stories that isn't close to anything i've seen in a men's bathroom.
This always gets said by males when the topic comes up, but I never noticed anything all that dramatic.
In the places I worked through college (3 bars, a restaurant, misc. retail) where we had to tidy the bathrooms, there was no difference between the two.
As for office bathrooms - my first two jobs happened to be in older/small buildings where the bathroom was right up on someone's office/desk.. so they could hear everyone use the bathroom and smell everything if it was that type of deal. When you're looking for a new job, you don't really think to check out the bathroom situation, but now that I work somewhere with a perfectly clean bathroom located far away from my (or anyone else's) office I realize how nice it is.
This post was edited on 10/20/17 at 2:56 pm
Posted on 10/20/17 at 2:55 pm to LSUBoo
quote:
quote:
Is he 4 years old?
No, he recently retired.
Makes sense. Old people do not give a frick
Posted on 10/20/17 at 2:58 pm to sneakytiger
quote:
when you walk in on a shy pooper who's clearly gritting his teeth with butthole clinched while you leisurely take a leak and wash up, pretend to walk out the door and wait for the fireworks... Kasploosh. Then walk out giggling like a school girl while giving the guy in the stall even more of a complex
frick you
Posted on 10/20/17 at 3:00 pm to JetFuelTyga
I had to put a sign up one time when we shared the floor with some other companies.
It started with:
"Attention Space Aliens. Since you are unfamiliar with our human bodily waste disposal systems..."
And went on to pretty much ask them not to leave shite in the toilet, to pick up toilet paper (used) that they drop on the floor. If they have shite on the seat, to get the chlorox wipes (which were in the bathroom ) and clean it up. If they piss on the seat, to either clean it with the chlorox wipes, or, amazingly just lift the seat before they piss. To wash their hands, etc.
It actually improved for awhile. Must have shamed some of those a-holes into being human for a little while.
It started with:
"Attention Space Aliens. Since you are unfamiliar with our human bodily waste disposal systems..."
And went on to pretty much ask them not to leave shite in the toilet, to pick up toilet paper (used) that they drop on the floor. If they have shite on the seat, to get the chlorox wipes (which were in the bathroom ) and clean it up. If they piss on the seat, to either clean it with the chlorox wipes, or, amazingly just lift the seat before they piss. To wash their hands, etc.
It actually improved for awhile. Must have shamed some of those a-holes into being human for a little while.
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