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Started By
Message
re: Negotiating w/SO to move
Posted on 12/20/16 at 9:05 am to hottub
Posted on 12/20/16 at 9:05 am to hottub
You say "SO" so one has to assume you are not married.
That being said....if she's "the one" she'll move with you so you can chase your goals and dreams. If she's not, then don't let another human being hold you down.
Distance from friends and family can be a blessing sometimes. Especially if you have a nut-case family. If she wants to get to know you better and spend time with you (reference my comment about being "The one") she'll move. If not, she might not be fully committed to you.
I moved my wife to Texas from 1997-2002. We then moved to Huntsville in 2002. She gets homesick and yes, we talk about moving home...but when I look at the situation back home...I'd rather stay here.
Happy wife, happy life, true...but no money/job/crap quality of life=divorce eventually. We just celebrated 19 years...so it's not too bad so far.
That being said....if she's "the one" she'll move with you so you can chase your goals and dreams. If she's not, then don't let another human being hold you down.
Distance from friends and family can be a blessing sometimes. Especially if you have a nut-case family. If she wants to get to know you better and spend time with you (reference my comment about being "The one") she'll move. If not, she might not be fully committed to you.
I moved my wife to Texas from 1997-2002. We then moved to Huntsville in 2002. She gets homesick and yes, we talk about moving home...but when I look at the situation back home...I'd rather stay here.
Happy wife, happy life, true...but no money/job/crap quality of life=divorce eventually. We just celebrated 19 years...so it's not too bad so far.
0
Posted on 12/20/16 at 9:10 am to hottub
Take the job and don't move. You'll get travel rewards for free vacations. You'll either both enjoy the time apart, or she'll get tired of it and then bring up the move again.
Or you can put a ring on it if she is good enough to take with you.
Or you can put a ring on it if she is good enough to take with you.
Posted on 12/20/16 at 9:42 am to GRTiger
I have committed to giving the commute a chance for a year minimum. She can do here job in either location.
Locations are specifically Louisville or Miami.
We are married with kids.
Locations are specifically Louisville or Miami.
We are married with kids.
Posted on 12/20/16 at 9:47 am to hottub
quote:
We are married with kids
That definitely changes things.
How old are your children? If they are really young maybe she wants to keep them around the additional family.
Since you are married she definitely needs to give both places a fair shot and at least be open minded, IMO.
Posted on 12/20/16 at 9:49 am to hottub
Where do you currently live and what would your salary increase be?
Posted on 12/20/16 at 9:55 am to hottub
quote:
We are married with kids.
Definitely travel.
Seriously, if she is cool with taking care of the kids while you're gone, the extra airline miles and hotel points for family vacations is a nice little perk. Not to mention being able to relax in the evening will be a perk for at least the year you've committed to it.
What would the travel schedule be? M-F, M-Th, Su-F, etc? It would probably get old fast if you had to give up a weekend day to travel, or even doing M-F consistently every week.
Posted on 12/20/16 at 9:59 am to hottub
quote:
Great job opportunity for me and can do the job from current location but it will involve more traveling. However, if we move to South Florida or Kentucky, my quality of life, i.e. time at home will be significantly better.
But the quality of life for your wife and kids will be.....what?
That's the question. And your answer.
Posted on 12/20/16 at 9:59 am to AbitaFan08
Shreveport...... 100k more a year
Posted on 12/20/16 at 10:06 am to hottub
quote:
Shreveport
That sucks. Any direct flights from there to Louisville or Miami?
quote:
100k more a year
That doesn't suck.
Posted on 12/20/16 at 10:21 am to HoustonChick86
If kids are young, say under 10, that's a tough call because both options would have their issues.
So if you moved are you pretty certain to have "normal" home time? The worst (for her, and ultimately for you) would be if you moved and ended up frequently having late nights or even being out of town often, and no close friends/family to help with the kids.
So if you moved are you pretty certain to have "normal" home time? The worst (for her, and ultimately for you) would be if you moved and ended up frequently having late nights or even being out of town often, and no close friends/family to help with the kids.
Posted on 12/20/16 at 10:24 am to hottub
quote:
100k more a year
Unless you're making like a million plus a year already you better tell her you're taking the job and she can get over it. You would be an idiot not to. For 100k you can fly her back to the Port City multiple times a year.
Posted on 12/20/16 at 10:27 am to hottub
quote:"Get in the truck, NOW!"
Any ideas or negotiating tactics
Posted on 12/20/16 at 10:28 am to PairofDucks
You're not doing much better with your douchebag attitude.
Posted on 12/20/16 at 10:30 am to hottub
quote:
We are married with kids.
Well damn man.
Completely different ballgame.
If she doesn't agree then you have to commute. End of story. You can continue periodically to try and sell her on it but if she won't do it she won't do it.
Posted on 12/20/16 at 10:31 am to hottub
quote:
Shreveport
Wait. You live in Shreveport and you can't sell your wife on South Florida?
wtf
Posted on 12/20/16 at 11:37 am to Fun Bunch
That's what I was thinking, the only way Shreveport would be better than damn near anywhere in SoFla is if you are poor but that doesn't exactly sound like the case hear. As far as visiting family goes, if you get a nice house (especially one on the water) your family will come down to visit a lot more often than you'd expect.
Posted on 12/20/16 at 12:13 pm to hottub
South Florida or Kentucky?
Hope you pick the right choice out of those two
Hope you pick the right choice out of those two
Posted on 12/20/16 at 12:21 pm to hottub
Guilt her about how the extra 100k can be used to give your kids the education they need and deserve
Posted on 12/20/16 at 12:22 pm to Taurus
quote:
the quality of life for your wife and kids will be.....what?
That's the question. And your answer.
Bingo.
Family quality of life>>>>$ amount
They're correlated, but it's loose.
Posted on 12/20/16 at 12:23 pm to GreatLakesTiger24
Or don't tell her about the raise and now you have a 100k a year slush fund
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