re: My oldest son is leaving for college in a few weeks, those that have gone thru this, how

Posted by BigCheese2001x

Member since Aug 2012

308 posts

Posted on 7/24/22 at 3:56 pm to Dawgfanman

Embrace your new role as a life coach, Mentor and advise. If you do this right they will keep coming back for more input and this is really what you want.

Posted by jeffsdad

Member since Mar 2007

23324 posts

Posted on 7/24/22 at 4:00 pm to Dawgfanman

I could have been a wreck when my youngest moved out…easily. But, it’s a stage in their life you just have to accept. They have to experience life much like you did. But, I did assure her she needed to find someone that would not move her far away or we would move close to them anyways. It all begins again with grandkids.

Posted by WaterLink

Baton Rouge

Member since Sep 2015

19577 posts

Posted on 7/24/22 at 4:01 pm to Dawgfanman

quote:
I can’t keep on him about his grades

Is he paying for his school or on scholarship? Because if you're paying for his school I don't think it's unreasonable to keep tabs on his performance in class at the very least. That's not to say to be a helicopter parent, you gotta let him learn to sustain himself without you and make the choice to be responsible but you also have to let him know you're not going to keep paying if he's flunking all his classes.

If he's paying himself or on scholarship then yeah thats his business at the point.

Posted by Dawgfanman

Member since Jun 2015

24709 posts

Posted on 7/24/22 at 4:05 pm to WaterLink

quote:
If he's paying himself or on scholarship then yeah thats his business at the point.

Combo. He has Hope for tuition. He’s paying 1/3rd of the other (dorm and meal plan) and I’m covering the rest. I’m sure I can strong arm the pwd out of him but don’t want to. If he loses the HOPE I’ll still help (not if he’s failing) but he will need to find a way to cover tuition. Just has to keep a 3.0 to keep HOPE. Trying to make him invested here in his education.

Posted by 777Tiger

Member since Mar 2011

82673 posts

Posted on 7/24/22 at 4:07 pm to Dawgfanman

Usually if a kid can swing a 3.0 they’re probably taking care of business in the other areas

Posted by notiger1997

Metairie

Member since May 2009

60601 posts

Posted on 7/24/22 at 4:09 pm to Dawgfanman

I have a daughter that started college a few years ago.
You slowly get used to it. For a few weeks after she left I was till catching myself at the grocery store about to put her favorite snacks and food in my cart.

College is time for them to grow and learn about the start of adult life

Posted by udtiger

Over your left shoulder

Member since Nov 2006

107643 posts

Posted on 7/24/22 at 4:09 pm to Dawgfanman

Let him know if he needs you for anything, you're there.

All you can do.

Posted by Chucktown_Badger

The banks of the Ashley River

Member since May 2013

33828 posts

Posted on 7/24/22 at 4:12 pm to Dawgfanman

quote:
Small (6000 or so students) in state school.

Then you probably don’t need to worry because he’ll be home every weekend anyway

This post was edited on 7/24/22 at 4:13 pm

Posted by dyslexiateechur

Louisiana

Member since Jan 2009

34331 posts

Posted on 7/24/22 at 4:13 pm to Dawgfanman

I’d recommend making a point to drive over and have lunch as much as you can. That really helped me.

Posted by Mahootney

Lovin' My German Footprint

Member since Sep 2008

12020 posts

Posted on 7/24/22 at 4:28 pm to dyslexiateechur

When I left, I was ready to be my own man.
College was an avenue to a job. Learning and good grades would get me there.
It was alot of fun and freedom, but only if it did not interfere with class and good grades.

My parents covered the books and the meal plan. I covered the rest.
Budgeting, side jobs, balancing life and girls, and school.
It was practicing for being an adult.
Just don't waste 4 years on a degree that doesn't pay worth a shite.

Posted by gumbo2176

Member since May 2018

17866 posts

Posted on 7/24/22 at 4:30 pm to Dawgfanman

All you can give him is sound advice. With him out and on his own being away from home and dad keeping a close eye on him, it's now up to him to make the right choices.

If you're lucky, he will, and grow from the experience. If not, then you've got to let him figure it out.

Posted by IAmNERD

Member since May 2017

21647 posts

Posted on 7/24/22 at 4:34 pm to Dawgfanman

quote:
I’m worried he’ll make all the mistakes I did, party like I did, etc.

Sounds like you turned out alright and tried to raise him right.

That's really all you can do. You can't make his decisions for him now.

Posted by OweO

Plaquemine, La

Member since Sep 2009

117265 posts

Posted on 7/24/22 at 4:35 pm to Dawgfanman

What happened to the days when parents couldn't wait until their kids turned 18 so they would get out the house?

Posted by cuyahoga tiger

NE Ohio via Tangipahoa

Member since Nov 2011

6031 posts

Posted on 7/24/22 at 4:37 pm to Dawgfanman

They are going to test the limits our nurturing and molding is what will drive them through it

Posted by Darth_Vader

A galaxy far, far away

Member since Dec 2011

68864 posts

Posted on 7/24/22 at 4:37 pm to Dawgfanman

I feel your pain. We’re moving my son to Auburn weekend after next.

Posted by dirtsandwich

Member since May 2016

5905 posts

Posted on 7/24/22 at 4:37 pm to Dawgfanman

Focus on the good parts. And think about it for a second, would you rather him not being going away to college? Of course not. It’s a great day for him.

Also, if you think a son makes you worry, try two daughters.