re: My first time second hand exposure to corporate jargon.

Early 90's dismantling a refinery for Shell in CA, Refining top execs would fly in once a month for a dog and pony show update with slides, and booklet handouts full of bullet points and graphs. Nary a one of them understood the process but had a booklet to put on their desk back in Houston.

The highlight of this was the month the safety manager decided to perform a test to see which leather gloves worked best for the asbestos abatement crew who were told to report even scratches from tie wire of poly to scaffolding. He found a glove that everyone would wear always and reported this finding.

What really happened is general foreman told them to get lost if the reported a bullshite scratch that month. Shell's onsite operators who signed permits laaughed and knew the study was bullshite. The head of safety got a round of applause from the execs that day.

At least in the engineering world, expected deliverables will dictate the scope, length, and items identified in a schedule, and has a very real world impact on when it's done.

You guys don't appreciate how much fun it is to use corporate speak. Ordering lunch for a group, "Let's take a deep dive into finding a synergy that gives us leverage. Since lunch is Joes' core competency, he can really move the needle toward actionable insights so we don't exceed our resource constraints."

quote:

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guess he could have just been snooping through her work stuff.

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She was showing me an email that annoyed her. I lost all focus on what she was saying when I saw that term. Just chuckled while she was talking. Like hearing a fart in church.

I'll circle back to this thread later

Off shore team sends "gentle reminders". Goes right along with kindly.

Let’s circle back and touch base so we can get everyone on the same page and secure full buy-in before we close the loop on this initiative. I don’t currently have the bandwidth for a deep dive, but if we leverage our core competency, think outside the box, and knock out the low-hanging fruit first, we should be able to move the needle with a couple of quick wins. Ping me if you want to take this offline, and make sure to loop in the right people so we can turn these pain points into actionable action items using best practice and maximum synergy.

Wait until you have to leverage your verticals.

I once, early career days, created a financial acronym to see if the corporate types would bite. One did. An important one! And the corporate lemmings devoured it like lap dogs.

I giggled. And giggled.

Wished I was a Dilbert type of creator (Scott Adams!) and not a consumer of his spot on material.