re: Merry Christmas to everyone I love the ot and everyone here, 2022 is about living

Brother, 10 years ago i was there - down, loathing life and searching for it at the bottom of a bottle. it is not easy. i had times of driving, i thought it would just be easy to swerve off the road and end it. it was family and friends that pulled me back from that abyss.

10 years later, I am married with a Wife that loves me, and extended family that accepts me.

the point is - stay the course my man, it truly does get better - just gotta have some faith in the universe. it is not easy, but then again the best things in life rarely are.

like Free said - we're all Bastards here, but we support our own and we are all here for you - just cause most of us have ever met, doesn't mean we aren't family of a sort.

I’m really not.

I’m a man. A deeply flawed man who struggles with his own insecurities and demons every single day.

I guess I’m passionate about things like this because I remember what those nights were like, feeling so alone and helpless and pointless. Listening to the lying whispers telling me how easy it would be.

And I was weak back then. I came close more than a few times. It always seemed to be the little things that stopped me. I’d get busy, or someone would call, or I’d see some stupid meme on the OT that would make me laugh…and it’s hard to think about that when you are laughing.

I got through the dark nights after she left and was making my way up a little by little, learning that life wasn’t over…then the hits just kept coming. Lost the really good paying job. Week later lost my brother, and that, that was where I could have broken.
I wanted to break. The weight was too much.

I thought I had lost everything. My house went into foreclosure because I hadn’t saved wisely, and even getting out of bed was an ordeal. I was so depressed and so low and my kids were just babies at that point, I had no clue how to handle it.

And I remember those nights when the hours dragged on for eternity and I would just wish it were over. I’d sit there staring in the dark, the shadows swirling all around me, whispering.

But, the thing is, if you sit long enough, even in the dark, you’ll start to hear the birds. Then, bit by bit, the darkness gets lighter, and brighter, and then the dawn breaks.

That’s the thing about darkness, at least here. It never stays. No matter how Inky deep and black the night seems, if you just hang on, hold the line, the dawn will break.

And I STILL have days I have to ignore the whispers and wait out the dark. But now, because I’ve been down in the deeps of despair, and come out, it makes it easier.

Because I KNOW it’s gonna pass and I KNOW things will get better.

I know that my babies are gonna hug me when I get to see them, and we are gonna laugh and smile and be silly.

I KNOW that if you fight with someone you care about, you’ll get over it eventually. You might make up, you might break up, but you are gonna keep on keeping on.

I liken it to being stuck in a tunnel. You might not realize you are walking into it, and all of a sudden you turn Around and all the Light has gone and you can’t even see where you came from.

And then you turn around and can’t see any light at the other end either. And it’s so easy to lose your way in the dark. To get turned around and bump your head and fall down and feel so lost and alone and empty.

So dammit, holler out. Hear the echo, and then, believe it or not, you’ll hear someone holler back. Because you aren’t alone in the darkness. You just can’t see that you’ve got friends with you in the dark.

So you realize you aren’t alone, pick yourself up, and start walking, one way or another. One foot in front of the other. If you hit a wall, turn. Just KEEP ON WALKING. KEEP ON TALKING.

And trust me, eventually, you’ll see a light.
Maybe it’s the end, maybe it’s someone with a torch, but the darkness will be dispelled, if you just don’t give up.

If you reach out, and speak out, then someone is gonna help you get out.

And brother, the light, is wonderful.

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I’d see some stupid meme on the OT that would make me laugh…and it’s hard to think about that when you are laughing.

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Man, I was really bad off. I ended up creating an account on here to talk with guys about baseball and that shite helped a lot. Just to get on here and talk about baseball or get on the OT and talk about crazy shite just to think about something else is a big help. I replied to FR33 but this to you too man, things get bad and things get better. You just gotta keep pushing every day and take advantage of the good.

You’ll get through this man. These mistakes you made have solutions and can be worked through. Only temporary setbacks and you have an entire lifetime to enjoy watching your daughter grow up.

I'm glad you did post, because the replies have proved that while there's a lot of juvenile junk in TD, there are also a lot of good hearts here. God Bless.

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Maybe I’m misinterpreting this but I’m seriously okay now. Everyone has bad days sometimes but I know that it will pass. I don’t think I need intensive help. Maybe back then I could have used it but not now

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It was just meant for the OP. Screenshot what you posted and HE sounds like he needs help right now. So he can get to a point where he can write that kind of stuff and no longer kill himself. Glad you are doing better. Merry Christmas and all that stuff. Lol

Thank you for that for myself and will pass it along to someone else

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I’m a man. A deeply flawed man who struggles with his own insecurities and demons every single day.

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No matter how happy you are in life, or not, you will fight this. It is basic existence. I have had tragedies in my life that we are not suppose to have. I lost a daughter at the age of 30 years old. A very healthy daughter to a out of the blue heart attack.

I was down down man. We all face the darkness at times. Sometimes its just easier to pull yourself out.

Dont ever think you are alone on this. And you are not fighting alone.

All each and every one of us can do is to do the very best you can and keep getting up.

The last two years have been so tough for a lot of people. If you’re having negative thoughts and suicidal ideation, please seek help. Your daughter needs you in her life. I understand being tired and feeling like things are just piling up one after the other. The good thing is we are in control of our surroundings and this is a great time to start making small manageable changes for the better. Good luck to you

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this is a great time to start making small manageable changes for the better.

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The only constant in life is change. The clock never stops ticking, thus a bad day will come to an end, without exception. In other words, each and every day brings on the birth of a new day, and along with it the very real likelihood of change, if that's what one needs. And so on and so on down the line.