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re: Married OTers, if could go back to single, look for wife again. What would you value most?

Posted on 2/13/25 at 1:46 pm to
Posted by Slammy
Member since Feb 2023
190 posts
Posted on 2/13/25 at 1:46 pm to
quote:

Peace

Bingo!!!
Posted by Honest Tune
Louisiana
Member since Dec 2011
18208 posts
Posted on 2/13/25 at 1:46 pm to
quote:

saw a missed spot on her wiping when we were making love one day.


Some dudes pay good money for this kinda stuff.
Posted by AwgustaDawg
CSRA
Member since Jan 2023
11184 posts
Posted on 2/13/25 at 2:05 pm to
quote:

I’d never get married again.


Me neither. Not because my marriage is bad but because it is so fantastic. If I somehow manage to foul it up or she comes to her senses and precedes me in death I would know better than to try to find what we have together....no chance. I can't imagine having to try to have a conversation with a woman who would be age appropriate for me....and I am certain they ain't lying awake at night dreaming of a pudgy, balding grouchy assed cynic whose idea of a good time is digging a ditch or catching some crappie. I would certainly have relationships, even a balding pudgy grouchy cynic has physical needs but it'd mainly be physical with as little dating and talking as I could get by with....
Posted by TexasTiger08
Member since Oct 2006
27852 posts
Posted on 2/13/25 at 2:13 pm to
quote:

I've gotten better at this, partly because I challenged myself -- and partly because I am 50 and why not. The answer with always be no, or I wonder ... if I didn't ask.


I’m trying to fix this. I have nothing to lose.

I’m not wired to be alone, but at times I wish I was. It would be much easier for me. It’s just those games. If they text, how long do I wait to message back? How long do you wait before having a conversation about how you became a single dad? shite like that.

I guess if you meet the right woman, it will flow naturally.
Posted by Yewkindewit
Near Birmingham, Alabama
Member since Apr 2012
21051 posts
Posted on 2/13/25 at 2:41 pm to
A good companion, wants to have a job, stay in shape basically but she has to pass the eye test. Look for a handful of common interests and she is willing to debate/discuss differences without being offended or pissed off. That’s all I would ask.
Posted by JawjaTigah
On the Bandwagon
Member since Sep 2003
22733 posts
Posted on 2/13/25 at 2:42 pm to
#1 Treat each other with respect.
#2 Truly enjoy each other’s company
#3 No temper tantrums on my part
Posted by Cold Cous Cous
Bucktown, La.
Member since Oct 2003
15194 posts
Posted on 2/13/25 at 2:47 pm to
Is "dowry" still an option or did I miss that boat
Posted by notiger1997
Metairie
Member since May 2009
60603 posts
Posted on 2/13/25 at 3:02 pm to
quote:

Their family dynamic is important. Pay attention to their parents relationship. Are they married? Divorced? If so, why. All those issues in some way molded that person you are considering marrying


This is very important
Posted by bayouvette
Raceland
Member since Oct 2005
5259 posts
Posted on 2/13/25 at 3:18 pm to
Money
Posted by DCTiger
Washington DC
Member since Jan 2005
393 posts
Posted on 2/13/25 at 3:29 pm to
Simple answer: loyalty

Nothing else matters. Physical appearance can change, money comes and goes, hardships will be encountered. Loyalty is everything during the highs and lows.

IMO, it’s the one innate quality many, many women don’t possess because of genetics, learned behavior, or societal norms.

Therefore, if you find one who is loyal, marry her and build a family and life together.

You’re welcome.
Posted by TexasTiger08
Member since Oct 2006
27852 posts
Posted on 2/13/25 at 4:18 pm to
quote:

Simple answer: loyalty


Great answer. I’m not sure it exists. Everyone is too selfish. Maybe I’m too selfish. Maybe that’s why I am where I am now.
Posted by Will Cover
Davidson, NC
Member since Mar 2007
39462 posts
Posted on 2/13/25 at 4:26 pm to
quote:

If they text, how long do I wait to message back? How long do you wait before having a conversation about how you became a single dad? shite like that.


When getting to know someone, asking questions about divorce are entirely invasive and premature before ever meeting someone. And in the early stages as well. People these days have an obsession with "vetting" someone and trying to figure everything out based on their past. Instead, meet people "where they are."

The past will come out, but it's not my business to ask strangers about intimate details of their prior relationships -- whether married, widowed, or otherwise.
Posted by TexasTiger08
Member since Oct 2006
27852 posts
Posted on 2/13/25 at 5:03 pm to
I can definitely understand that approach. I’m an open book. The girl I had been texting told me, so I didn’t mind opening up. I wouldn’t use it as baggage anyway. She’s divorced with a kid? Big deal. I don’t care. I am in the same boat. But yeah, she didn’t ask me, she volunteered her info and so did I. Unless she cheated, I wouldn’t really use that info to pass judgement.
Posted by Will Cover
Davidson, NC
Member since Mar 2007
39462 posts
Posted on 2/13/25 at 5:06 pm to
I think many people, when first start to get to know someone, ask too many questions, too soon. They are only doing that to determine if that person can fit into their lifestyle. I get why.

I'm just saying that I believe it is best to "let it be" as things have a tendency to work themselves out.

For me, I look for effort, intent, and communication early on --- and throughout. Someone who is respectful, and knows their self-worth.
Posted by The Third Leg
Idiot Out Wandering Around
Member since May 2014
10664 posts
Posted on 2/13/25 at 5:09 pm to
I would not get married, I would hire a woman to give me 2 kids and give up custody, hire a Brazilian nanny, raise them as a single dad, bang the nanny, and be much wealthier
Posted by Miketheseventh
Member since Dec 2017
6503 posts
Posted on 2/13/25 at 5:35 pm to
The same thing I always value. A woman who is honest, trustworthy and fun to be around. They still have some women who value this out there
Posted by TexasTiger08
Member since Oct 2006
27852 posts
Posted on 2/13/25 at 5:48 pm to
quote:

For me, I look for effort, intent, and communication early on --- and throughout.


This is a big thing. I’m an old soul, but a big texter. I think that does me in.
Posted by AUveritas
Member since Aug 2013
3170 posts
Posted on 2/13/25 at 6:23 pm to
Genuine kindness
Posted by threeputtforbogie
Addison, TX
Member since Sep 2017
934 posts
Posted on 2/13/25 at 6:30 pm to
Rich in laws
Posted by 225Tyga
Member since Oct 2013
18155 posts
Posted on 2/13/25 at 6:33 pm to
quote:

doesn’t have sex with my friend.


Yeah sorry about that
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