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Started By
Message
LifeProTip: Use real Dawn to wash poison ivy off hands, not the foaming kind.
Posted on 5/15/20 at 9:34 am
Posted on 5/15/20 at 9:34 am
Especially before you go take a piss.
Got poison ivy on my dick.
Got poison ivy on my dick.
14
Posted on 5/15/20 at 9:36 am to magildachunks
We tried to tell you about this before you decided to get the transition surgery but you obviously didn't listen.
Posted on 5/15/20 at 9:36 am to magildachunks
Posted on 5/15/20 at 9:37 am to magildachunks
Combine with a wash rag to get friction to remove the oil from your skin
Posted on 5/15/20 at 9:38 am to magildachunks
quote:
Got poison ivy on my dick.
Pics?
Posted on 5/15/20 at 9:38 am to magildachunks
This is one of my worst nightmares
Posted on 5/15/20 at 9:39 am to magildachunks
fricking rookie mistake.
And I thought accidentally getting tiger balm/icy hot on your cock and balls was the worst.
At least I’m not as retarded as OP.
And I thought accidentally getting tiger balm/icy hot on your cock and balls was the worst.
At least I’m not as retarded as OP.
Posted on 5/15/20 at 9:39 am to magildachunks
Don't lie. You jacked off with the leaves thinking it was aloe didn't you?
Posted on 5/15/20 at 9:42 am to magildachunks
quote:
Got poison ivy on my dick.
Posted on 5/15/20 at 9:46 am to magildachunks
That’s too funny.
I had a friend in HS who screwed his gf in the woods. The area they laid on was covered with poison ivy. Both got it in the genital area.
I had a friend in HS who screwed his gf in the woods. The area they laid on was covered with poison ivy. Both got it in the genital area.
Posted on 5/15/20 at 9:47 am to magildachunks
quote:
Especially before you go take a piss.
Got poison ivy on my dick.
When I was a kid, I took a shite in the woods and accidentally wiped with poison ivy. That fricking sucked for a week.
Posted on 5/15/20 at 9:48 am to magildachunks
if i get it, it will always find it's way to my dick.
And if you don't know that you should scrub your body down vigorously several times in the shower after being possible exposed to poison ivy, than you deserve it.
And if you don't know that you should scrub your body down vigorously several times in the shower after being possible exposed to poison ivy, than you deserve it.
Posted on 5/15/20 at 9:50 am to TeddyPadillac
I got the ivy down there once. It was, how do you say, the worst week of my life.
Posted on 5/15/20 at 10:00 am to Athos
quote:
And I thought accidentally getting tiger balm/icy hot on your cock and balls was the worst.
I did that not too long ago too
Posted on 5/15/20 at 10:02 am to Ingeniero
quote:
You jacked off with the leaves thinking it was aloe didn't you?
Have you ever seen an aloe plant?
Posted on 5/15/20 at 10:09 am to magildachunks
Lil Dicky, is that you?!
Posted on 5/15/20 at 10:09 am to MikeD
quote:
Combine with a wash rag to get friction to remove the oil from your skin
This
Posted on 5/15/20 at 10:43 am to magildachunks
2/3 baking soda 1/3 water. Or was it 2/3 water 1/3 baking soda? I check the webpage again. Yes, I was right the first time. I mix the concoction in my child’s flimsy plastic bowl, creating a thick grainy paste. That looks about right.
I take the bowl with me to the toilet, pull down my pants, and slather the paste all over my poison ivy rashed penis. Ah. Instant cool relief after the incessant burning and itching. My mind and body drifted into ecstasy, a peaceful bliss. I just sat in that timeless moment where everything was right.
Eventually realizing I needed to get back to work, I stood back up, pulled up my gym shorts, and walked back to my work computer.
Hours passed. I had gotten up from my chair a few times and moved about, not realizing the dried baking soda paste on my penis was flaking off in clumps, spilling a trail of shame behind me. My wife noticed before I did.
“What is this?” she asked, pointing to one of the trails. Did [our son] get into something?”
My mind raced to find an answer. I didn’t want her to know I had a poisoned penis. I didn’t want her to know I put gobs of homemade paste over it. I didn’t want her to know that the paste that had been dried on my rashy penis for hours had been scattered about the floors she cleaned last weekend. But nothing came to me. “Oh, oops, that’s the baking soda paste I put on my groin area for my poison ivy rash” I say in the most nonchalant way I can muster.
“You have poison ivy on your crotch?! Are you sure it’s poison ivy? Let me see!” shite, I knew there was no way she wasn’t going to get a look. Like taking off a bandaid, I just went for it and pulled down my pants. My sad, shrunken gooped up penis was there, like an eskimo that had just got dug out of an avalanche. “Gross! Get in the bathroom so you stop spreading that everywhere! Don’t come out until you wash that off!”
I’m in the bathroom now, a fresh coating of my homemade medication just applied. Quarantined in my house, now quarantined in my bathroom. I can’t go back to the burning itch. I just can’t. In this bathroom I will stay. 4% battery left on my phone. Soon I will be alone.
This is my story.
I take the bowl with me to the toilet, pull down my pants, and slather the paste all over my poison ivy rashed penis. Ah. Instant cool relief after the incessant burning and itching. My mind and body drifted into ecstasy, a peaceful bliss. I just sat in that timeless moment where everything was right.
Eventually realizing I needed to get back to work, I stood back up, pulled up my gym shorts, and walked back to my work computer.
Hours passed. I had gotten up from my chair a few times and moved about, not realizing the dried baking soda paste on my penis was flaking off in clumps, spilling a trail of shame behind me. My wife noticed before I did.
“What is this?” she asked, pointing to one of the trails. Did [our son] get into something?”
My mind raced to find an answer. I didn’t want her to know I had a poisoned penis. I didn’t want her to know I put gobs of homemade paste over it. I didn’t want her to know that the paste that had been dried on my rashy penis for hours had been scattered about the floors she cleaned last weekend. But nothing came to me. “Oh, oops, that’s the baking soda paste I put on my groin area for my poison ivy rash” I say in the most nonchalant way I can muster.
“You have poison ivy on your crotch?! Are you sure it’s poison ivy? Let me see!” shite, I knew there was no way she wasn’t going to get a look. Like taking off a bandaid, I just went for it and pulled down my pants. My sad, shrunken gooped up penis was there, like an eskimo that had just got dug out of an avalanche. “Gross! Get in the bathroom so you stop spreading that everywhere! Don’t come out until you wash that off!”
I’m in the bathroom now, a fresh coating of my homemade medication just applied. Quarantined in my house, now quarantined in my bathroom. I can’t go back to the burning itch. I just can’t. In this bathroom I will stay. 4% battery left on my phone. Soon I will be alone.
This is my story.
Posted on 5/15/20 at 10:49 am to magildachunks
How long did it take from messing with it to when you knew you got the rash? I removed some from my backyard yesterday, but I'm not really very allergic to it...hoping my 1 year old isn't either, I only spotted the poison ivy yesterday when I went to get him out of the bushes and he was all up in it. Keep waiting to see if he's going to breakout, my wife will be fricking pissed if I let him get it on my watch
Posted on 5/15/20 at 10:56 am to Jon Ham
quote:
2/3 baking soda 1/3 water. Or was it 2/3 water 1/3 baking soda? I check the webpage again. Yes, I was right the first time. I mix the concoction in my child’s flimsy plastic bowl, creating a thick grainy paste. That looks about right. I take the bowl with me to the toilet, pull down my pants, and slather the paste all over my poison ivy rashed penis. Ah. Instant cool relief after the incessant burning and itching. My mind and body drifted into ecstasy, a peaceful bliss. I just sat in that timeless moment where everything was right. Eventually realizing I needed to get back to work, I stood back up, pulled up my gym shorts, and walked back to my work computer. Hours passed. I had gotten up from my chair a few times and moved about, not realizing the dried baking soda paste on my penis was flaking off in clumps, spilling a trail of shame behind me. My wife noticed before I did. “What is this?” she asked, pointing to one of the trails. Did [our son] get into something?” My mind raced to find an answer. I didn’t want her to know I had a poisoned penis. I didn’t want her to know I put gobs of homemade paste over it. I didn’t want her to know that the paste that had been dried on my rashy penis for hours had been scattered about the floors she cleaned last weekend. But nothing came to me. “Oh, oops, that’s the baking soda paste I put on my groin area for my poison ivy rash” I say in the most nonchalant way I can muster. “You have poison ivy on your crotch?! Are you sure it’s poison ivy? Let me see!” shite, I knew there was no way she wasn’t going to get a look. Like taking off a bandaid, I just went for it and pulled down my pants. My sad, shrunken gooped up penis was there, like an eskimo that had just got dug out of an avalanche. “Gross! Get in the bathroom so you stop spreading that everywhere! Don’t come out until you wash that off!” I’m in the bathroom now, a fresh coating of my homemade medication just applied. Quarantined in my house, now quarantined in my bathroom. I can’t go back to the burning itch. I just can’t. In this bathroom I will stay. 4% battery left on my phone. Soon I will be alone. This is my story.
TulaneLSU minus formal language.
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