re: Just had a telemed call with a resident at the nursing home where I do consulting

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She wouldn't do it. She complains about loneliness but isn't interested to join any of this stuff as much as we've encouraged it. She leans on my mom to keep her entertained, but my mom is 52 and about to join my 54-year-old dad in retirement. They have a marriage to go enjoy.

For the record, grandmother hangs out with mom and dad 1-2 times a week and has lots of family she chats on the phone with. Just wish she had any sort of passion or interest in ANYTHING.

When we take her places, she just kinda politely smiles like she's bored or miserable. LOL. Then she's calling trying to do the same thing a week later. Its weird.

I think that's just people who were raised in very rural simple times/area like she was. When my grandfather was alive, they just sat each in their rocking recliners all day long and sat quietly or did word search puzzles or look out the window at the neighbors.

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This sounds exactly like my mother. She'd rather be at home, alone than socialize with people. She's always been a loner type person and has the nerve to complain to everyone that she's so isolated and lonely. She has zero interest other than sitting in a damn chair watching TV 24-7 or living on Facebook.

She has the body of a woman 20 yrs older than she is because she has chosen to live a stagnant life for the last 50 yrs. Constantly complains of aches and pains and how low her energy is......she never moves and sits all day wondering why she's light-headed or why her hips hurt?

I have no patience.

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It was very sobering to realize that I was probably the only person at home that would ever get out alive
My roommate , once they movef me out of isolation. does not know where he is and they all told me that prior to kovid he was walking around is one of the more social people in the home

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Glad you're home and better. Pre Covid you'd have been in our skilled wing .. the new as in 2 year old wing with "mostly" people who are there short term and the goal is to go home. There are some who are there "For a chance" to work hard and get stronger and "HOPEFULLY" go home. Some just aren't able to do it not for the therapy staff lack of effort. NOW that side is closed as it wasn't efficient to staff it and keep the lights on so they're now in the normal, long term side in a private room (normally it'd be a 2 person room).

JML, if anyone can, see if they can bring the meal at lunch? I know that the entrance being used for us has a person sitting at her desk to allow people in and to get things to residents. It would be worth a try.

LLady, my mom will be that type ... but kudos to your mom and dad for trying to keep her engaged a time or two during the week. You're right ... your parents have a life as well and it's hard for everyone to find the balance.

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My great aunt currently has coronavirus in a nursing home. She keeps calling my mom and asking where her mother and brothers are at. They're all dead :(

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That’s terrible
Those are the ones that hurt my heart the most & make me realize how lucky I am that my Grandpa is “all there” & understands why we can’t visit

I pray for those that are alone & don’t understand why every night as well as their family

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She has the body of a woman 20 yrs older than she is because she has chosen to live a stagnant life for the last 50 yrs

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dude, SPOT ON.

When I got older and realized my grandparents were in their 40s when I was born, I was stunned. They were "old" as long as I've been alive. My mom told me they were like this when she was a child and teenager even.

It makes me sad because its almost like they've been waiting to die their entire lives instead of enjoying life currently as it is.

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JML, if anyone can, see if they can bring the meal at lunch? I know that the entrance being used for us has a person sitting at her desk to allow people in and to get things to residents. It would be worth a try.

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No home cooked meals, nothing that has opened packaging
He likes cheese but we have to buy a block & send it, we cannot slice it & put into Tupperware

Might have been 3 weeks ago I stood at main entrance for over 10 minutes hitting buzzer
3 of those minutes I was listening to “someone will answer your call soon”

Pretty much every time I go they tell me to set it on the ground & they will get it when they can
I tell them I’ll wait

They have bare minimum staff, they cannot keep anyone
They are at the point of since breakfast is cereal,& grits utensils are plastic
All meals have drinks served in disposable cups
This is to reduce staff time washing dishes because they are needed elsewhere

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If you aren't fortunate to have your kids or anyone else to look after you and you don't have 5 grand a month for someone to take care of you, then what other choice is there? I'll wait for a reply.

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My SO and I will not let our parents go to a nursing home, but we are very fortunate to be in a position where that can be the case without them living in a cramped out with us either.

I don't judge people who can't do that for whatever reason - be it financial, marital, etc.

My friend's grandmother lives in St. James Place and damn that place looks nice. You can go hang out at their bar during happy hour for $1/drink, just in case anyone looking for a cheap HH spot

Are you a doctor?

a. it's so weird to me that my mom is the same age as the grandparents of people in my age range, she's 72

b. my mom's side of the family lives forever and it's a big concern of her's. luckily she's in a much better spot in TX with my sister and their family than here living on her own. she's fully capable of living on her own now, but she could be alive for 20-ish more years. at some point we will have to cross that bridge

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Dear Lord, it's hard to hear an elderly woman say "I'm so lonely" when I asked how she was doing.

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That's a pretty terrible thing. All of my elderly relatives have passed away, but my FIL fell and broke his hip in May and no one could go to the hospital with him, be with him during surgery, or visit him for the 3 weeks he was in the hospital and rehab.

It was tough on my wife and her sister.

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We didn’t choose, my Grandpa did
I fought him & everyone in the family about it
I tell him every time we talk all he has to do is say the word & I’ll have his house ready for him
He’s private pay so he can pay home health & at least eat well & have family around
He doesn’t want to burden anyone which was his reason for asking to go

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I understand, your Grandpa is being selfless. As long as he made the decision I would want to honor it even though I disagreed. The situation I speak of is the patient's spouse wanting to institutionalize. Has long term care and can have someone at the house every day, but doesn't feel like they should have to leave the house to relax during the day. The patient is confused, but settles down and is non-violent. Still enjoys a cocktail and a joke...still humanity left.