re: Is your family a net negative for your life?

The dream would be to have a US remote job that lets me live in Thailand, but unfortunately the time difference is too much.

Mine is not, my wife's is for her. It took me a long time to realize it as well, so now I protect her from them.

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Have spoken to my father probably three times in the last 30 years. Don't hate him and think he was a good dad for the first ten to twelve years but he moved on with his life after he and my mom divorced and I moved on with mine after I served in the military. He remarried and pretty much kissed his new wife's arse and her family's. I started my own life with my wife and kids and never missed him after that. I learned what not to do from him like take interest in my kids likes and dislikes and learned how to communicate with them. I look like my dad, have a great sense of humor and a great worth ethic like my dad but he is just not part of my life and I don't miss him. Is what it is. Everyone else in my family we are good

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Son, is that you?

Our family is awesome but for my mother in law. She was awfully unpleasant to my wife, treated her poorly and they no longer speak. Mother in law won’t even speak to my kids - her grandkids. It’s bizarre and she had to get the boot.

My family as far as my parents and brother, yes. But, the failures of that family has made me closer to my own.

No!
Wife, kids, parents, siblings we all get along pretty well. I even have good relationships with many of my uncles, aunts and first cousins and wish I could get to see them more often

Wife's family is a net negative

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you should identify their good attributes and take what joy you can from those attributes and move forward.

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Good advice.

I have a few cousins that I don't go out of my way to talk to but overall my family and extended family are awesome. I have 50 or 60 first cousins so there are a lot of us running around. My mom and dad are both from big families.

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Haven’t talked to my dad in years. Him and mom divorced later in life. He always made life harder on everyone around him and to this day still does. I’ve heard he’s dying of cancer. He’s not gonna use his dying breath as some attempt to screw with me one last time.

Mom has no good money habits. She will eventually put me in a situation where I have to spend a shite pot of money to bail her out. It will not be pretty. For now I’m not wallowing around with her. We still spend time together but it’s never right according to her.

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Your parental situation sounds extremely similar to my own (minus my father currently dying .)


Mom and dad have been divorced for many moons.. they are diametric opposites, but each are miserable headcases, in their own way.... For a while I thought 'Maybe I am the common denominator ?'.. but turns out, they're both just dealing with their own unique mental issues... As such, I try to give them some grace, and some leeway- but ill be damned if ill let either of them drag me down with their constant pity parties and passive aggressive horseshite ... Families are a weird thing, and you gotta be real cognizant of where to draw your own personal lines .. As you mentioned with your mom though, it really sucks to be a (mostly) responsible person, but knowing that eventually there will be a reckoning and I will have to deal wth someone else's shitty decisions and lack of planning .