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re: Is it upsetting to hear that a couple doesn't want children?
Posted on 5/15/17 at 1:31 pm to lsuwontonwrap
Posted on 5/15/17 at 1:31 pm to lsuwontonwrap
quote:
Many of the parents I meet with small kids are miserable. They love their kids. They wouldn't trade them for the world. But kids under 10 are A LOT of work and people don't realize that.
All grandparent aged people I know say that looking back, those are some of the best times in your life.
It's a difficult transition as you have to learn to not be selfish. You see friends without kids, and sometimes you feel like you are missing out being spontaneous. The thing is that you grow with your kids, and realize that you don't need your former socialite lifestyle.
Kids are great if you keep everything in perspective.
0
Posted on 5/15/17 at 1:31 pm to Pettifogger
Also alcoholics, drug addicts and closeted homosexuals. More often than not.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 1:31 pm to Pettifogger
quote:
I would say bitter, selfish, unfriendly, more likely to be liberal or atheist. Not claiming those are accurate.
At least that is what appears to be mentioned in this thread.
I find that odd. Most of the other DINKs we know arent any of those things.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 1:32 pm to Hawkeye95
kinda like the saying "no one ever wishes they traveled less"
I don't think I've ever met an old person that didn't have kids, say that they are glad they never had kids
not to say they are/were unhappy with their lives, but when they look back on their lives, its something they wish they would have done
I'm sure someone will tell how wrong I am shortly though
I don't think I've ever met an old person that didn't have kids, say that they are glad they never had kids
not to say they are/were unhappy with their lives, but when they look back on their lives, its something they wish they would have done
I'm sure someone will tell how wrong I am shortly though
Posted on 5/15/17 at 1:32 pm to Pettifogger
quote:
I would say bitter, selfish, unfriendly, more likely to be liberal or atheist.
well, those without kids I know are all liberal and mostly atheist, this doesn't mean they are bitter, selfish or unfriendly. None of these applies to the majority of people I know that don't have kids.
But what is wrong being liberal? Or atheist?
Posted on 5/15/17 at 1:33 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
errr, you said horrendous people earlier.
I haven't made any definitive statements about people without kids whatsoever.
I pinpointed some people who are dogshit human beings, but I'm not applying that to everyone in the category.
As to your friends, I probably wouldn't like them, based on our interactions (which is a weird thing to say since I like you fine as a poster). But you talk about your friends a fair amount, and I just doubt we'd get along well. But I'm not going to label them as awful.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 1:34 pm to Pettifogger
quote:
I agree with almost all of this. But, and I don't have strong feelings on this, I think a good argument can be made (particularly from a faith-based outlook) that there is nothing "external" about having a good chunk of life happiness derived from kids. In other words, that part of the purpose for a large majority of people is to have families, and we're naturally drawn to that outcome.
I agree that contentedness and happiness came come without kids, but I don't think that's the baseline and kids are an addition. Rather, I think family life is the baseline and no kids is an exception.
From a Biblical perspective, and at the individual level, I think there's an easier argument that happiness is something that is developed and understood apart from children or a spouse. Especially when you look at Christ's life and his immediate followers. Probably a debate for another time.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 1:36 pm to Salmon
quote:
I'm sure someone will tell how wrong I am shortly though
you are wrong.
Research indicates otherwise, although only in the last 10 years has this been something that is even remotely acceptable in society.
I can see when I am 70 regretting not having children. I don't regret it now though.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 1:36 pm to CptBengal
quote:
I find that odd. Most of the other DINKs we know aren't any of those things.
Well, hopefully it's false. I'd much prefer to eventually conclude that the stereotypes aren't true.
I do think it's a common sentiment, but in fairness, that means it is probably controlled by people with kids.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 1:36 pm to Pecker
quote:if they're white, have good genetics, and contribute to society, yes
Is it upsetting to hear that a couple doesn't want children?
Posted on 5/15/17 at 1:36 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
I can see when I am 70 regretting not having children. I don't regret it now though.
kinda what I was saying
Posted on 5/15/17 at 1:37 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
But what is wrong being liberal? Or atheist?
Look at what Cpt asked, look at what I said
This post was edited on 5/15/17 at 1:38 pm
Posted on 5/15/17 at 1:38 pm to Pettifogger
quote:
For reference, I know one couple in their early 30s that probably won't have kids. They're really enjoyable people. I know a couple couples that won't have kids because they either can't or because there are health reasons not to do so. They're enjoyable enough.
I know 2 other couples pretty well that are older without kids. They're fricking horrendous human beings, and completely miserable. And I know 3-4 other couples that aren't having kids that I don't like but don't really know them that well.
Well, 8-9 couples you know certainly seems like a wide enough sample to make such fantastically idiotic statements...
Posted on 5/15/17 at 1:38 pm to Pettifogger
Best thing I've ever done with my life is have a child. It's hard as hell and sometimes you just want to take a vacation into the woods and be alone for a little while but damn it's so rewarding. Every time that little girl looks up at me and smiles I think about how blessed I am to have her. If other couples choose not to have kids then it's fine by me. It's a free country, they can do what they want.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 1:39 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
I can see when I am 70 regretting not having children. I don't regret it now though.
I dont see it.
I dont see regretting it at all, at any point. The decision was a long hard one with lots of thought placed on it.
I dont see how it would be different at a later point.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 1:39 pm to Salmon
I've met that person. How about we just agree that there is no universal among humanity? Why do people pretend that having met (or not met) someone who believes a certain thing means that their experience is complete or representative?
Posted on 5/15/17 at 1:39 pm to Sentrius
One should not become too attached to someone who actively avoids attachments. Well-adjusted people understand that as a simple human truth. The crowd that is convinced they have found a better way often don't learn it until they wake up and their SO and dog are gone and there is a note on the kitchen table.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 1:39 pm to Pettifogger
Posted on 5/15/17 at 1:41 pm to redfishfan
quote:
Best thing I've ever done with my life is have a child.
this is the crux to the entire debate, conversation, whatever
most parents (at least good ones) 100% believe this (I know I do), and so when friends tell them that they do not want to experience this, its a natural reaction to ask "but why?"
kinda like you go on an amazing vacation or an awesome restaurant and tell your friends about it, and they say "nah, not for me, sounds awful", its human nature to defend or push them to go
Posted on 5/15/17 at 1:42 pm to CptBengal
quote:
I dont see it.
I dont see regretting it at all, at any point. The decision was a long hard one with lots of thought placed on it.
I dont see how it would be different at a later point.
Oh, I just want someone to wipe my arse. So maybe not 70.
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