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Is it upsetting to hear that a couple doesn't want children?

Posted on 5/15/17 at 11:54 am
Posted by Pecker
Rocky Top
Member since May 2015
16674 posts
Posted on 5/15/17 at 11:54 am
Why do people with children seem upset when other people say they don't want kids?

Over the weekend I had a couple try to talk my fiance and me into having kids (once we're married of course). The woman 30 and just got pregnant and wanted to know if we had changed our minds about not having kids (we know this couple well and they know we don't want kids). We were as polite as can be and told her that we didn't see it working given our careers and that it wouldn't be fair to the child, and that we had zero interest. She spent the next 20 minutes giving us all the reasons we should do it, eventually ending with "you'll change your mind. Trust me, you'll change your mind."

She was pretty worked up about it which seemed odd. Even the dude was weird about it. He seemed like he was almost asking us to do it like, "why not guys? Just do it. Come on."

I feel like I've encountered this before and I don't get it. Why does it seemingly bother other couples who have/are having kids?

Posted by AUCE05
Member since Dec 2009
45423 posts
Posted on 5/15/17 at 11:56 am to
People are weird? I have found it is easier to just accept this than try and understand human nature.
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
93541 posts
Posted on 5/15/17 at 11:56 am to
quote:

Why does it seemingly bother other couples who have/are having kids?


I'm not sure that I 100% feel this way but I'm really starting to wonder more and more, why get married if you're not planning on having kids?
Posted by SEClint
New Orleans, LA/Portland, OR
Member since Nov 2006
49487 posts
Posted on 5/15/17 at 11:57 am to
frick no, I don't want any kids.

Plus the world is a shitty place and too overpopulated.
Posted by Master of Sinanju
Member since Feb 2012
12229 posts
Posted on 5/15/17 at 11:57 am to
Because usually the couples who make this decision have their shite together and are the ones you want to see having children rather than the misfits who are having hordes of kids.
Posted by moneyg
Member since Jun 2006
63665 posts
Posted on 5/15/17 at 11:57 am to
Good people who have kids understand that it is the greatest most fulfilling thing you could ever do in your life.

It makes sense that people in your circle that have kids and care about you would want that for you.
Posted by LZ83
La
Member since Sep 2016
17446 posts
Posted on 5/15/17 at 11:58 am to
Nah pecker. I would rather not have any. Than have them and not want them and not raise them to be productive members of society. It's not a stigma. Just some people can't understand simple things.
Posted by CoachChappy
Member since May 2013
34329 posts
Posted on 5/15/17 at 11:58 am to
quote:

The woman 30 and just got pregnant and wanted to know if we had changed our minds about not having kids (we know this couple well and they know we don't want kids)

I think found your issue.
Posted by wfallstiger
Wichita Falls, Texas
Member since Jun 2006
16072 posts
Posted on 5/15/17 at 11:58 am to
To your question, no. Would that work for me? no.
Posted by MSMHater
Houston
Member since Oct 2008
23366 posts
Posted on 5/15/17 at 11:58 am to
I didn't have kids until I was 31, and was adamantly against them until I was 30. If you stick with your desire to not have them, more power to you. You'll make alot more money in life, and probably travel and do other cool shite.

But at some point in your soon to be marriage, you may find yourself hedging on the "no kids" policy.

Posted by Pettifogger
I don't really care, Margaret
Member since Feb 2012
87746 posts
Posted on 5/15/17 at 11:59 am to
People shouldn't be assholes about it, but

1) Most people who have kids generally find it to be life altering and rewarding; and
2) It's probably in our nature to generally promote the development of families
Posted by Antonio Moss
The South
Member since Mar 2006
49577 posts
Posted on 5/15/17 at 11:59 am to
quote:

Why does it seemingly bother other couples who have/are having kids?


The one reasonable explanation is the Idiocracy scenario. As someone with small kids, it's disheartening to watch the worst of us breed exponentially while intelligent people who would raise responsible citizens forgo children.
Posted by danilo
Member since Nov 2008
26328 posts
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:00 pm to
Are you really going to waste your life giving a damn what other people think?
Posted by Pettifogger
I don't really care, Margaret
Member since Feb 2012
87746 posts
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:00 pm to
quote:

I think found your issue.



Yeah that's the real issue here

But the overall discussion has more substance (though it's been done multiple times on this board)
Posted by LSUBoo
Knoxville, TN
Member since Mar 2006
104456 posts
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:01 pm to
quote:

eventually ending with "you'll change your mind. Trust me, you'll change your mind."


You very well might, but if you don't, keep doing you.
Posted by CorporateTiger
Member since Aug 2014
10700 posts
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:02 pm to
There are still some benefits to being married. That includes health benefits, legal rights if one of us were to pass. If we wind up with an accident child.

Plus the mess of untangling a long term cohabitating couple's finances is basically just as bad as divorce.
Posted by notiger1997
Metairie
Member since May 2009
61786 posts
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:02 pm to
I have kids and it doesn't bother me that people choose not to.
Hell its probably a great thing that assholes like you don't reproduce. LOL
Posted by LNCHBOX
70448
Member since Jun 2009
89388 posts
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:02 pm to
In your case, no.
Posted by Pettifogger
I don't really care, Margaret
Member since Feb 2012
87746 posts
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:02 pm to
quote:

But at some point in your soon to be marriage, you may find yourself hedging on the "no kids" policy.



Someone above mentioned that most people making this decision have their shite together. That may be true, particularly for those in your scenario (who are against it but eventually change their mind).

I will say that the people who continue without kids (by choice) and don't ultimately change their position often aren't the nicest or most likable people, on average.
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
93541 posts
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:03 pm to
quote:

There are still some benefits to being married. That includes health benefits, legal rights if one of us were to pass. If we wind up with an accident child.


I can see that

quote:

Plus the mess of untangling a long term cohabitating couple's finances is basically just as bad as divorce.


would take odds on that
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