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re: Is it upsetting to hear that a couple doesn't want children?
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:24 pm to Pecker
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:24 pm to Pecker
I explained this to a good friend of mine the other day when he and his wife said they werent ready for kids yet. I told them if they dont think they are ready or may not ever want kids then dont. My wife and I were ready and actively trying for our first child. He's been a blessing and was born a healthy baby, but being a parents is a lot of work. I would not trade my son for any amount of money in the world, but once you commit to that responsibility there is no going back. When my wife became pregnant everyone was telling us to "get ready" and "your world will flip upside down", and they were absolutely correct. I have 0 regrets, because this is what we wanted. But if you dont think you want kids then dont until you are certain this is something BOTH of you want. Do not ever let someone effect your decision when they will not be the ones living with that decision and responsibility. The best advice we received when everyone is telling you how to raise your children was, "do what makes your home happy". This also applies to you and your SO with or without kids.
0
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:25 pm to Sneaky__Sally
quote:
But its like getting excited about recommending a good book, movie, whatever to a friend.
No, it's not.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:26 pm to Pecker
quote:
Is it upsetting to hear that a couple doesn't want children?
Not at all. If you don't want them, don't have them.
quote:
a couple try to talk my fiance and me into having kids
Next time tell them, you'll let them know if you change your minds. Otherwise, let it go.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:26 pm to CorporateTiger
quote:
Lol. Guy is happy, why do you think you know what is better for him than he does?
Are we talking about the same guy? The guy I know is miserable. At work, everyone his age, talks about their kids all the time. He just sits there awkwardly with nothing to add. He said this really bugs him when he meets other couples on vacation when they do this.
This post was edited on 5/15/17 at 12:32 pm
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:27 pm to BulldogXero
quote:
I would not care if anyone told me they didn't want children, but I do think their opinions will change when they are old and have no children alive to take care of them. What do they expect will happen? Do they assume they will feel good forever or that their nieces and nephews will look after them?
I see it as virtual assurance they will end up in an assisted living facility or nursing home should they live long enough. Of course, this sort of thing happens to people a lot these days whether or not they have kids.
someone deciding to have kids so that they have someone to care for them when they are old is like someone deciding to go to the military for the money. You soon realize a) bad idea b) it doesn't work out that way most of the time.
That's a terrible, terrible reason to choose to procreate.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:27 pm to BulldogXero
quote:
I would not care if anyone told me they didn't want children, but I do think their opinions will change when they are old and have no children alive to take care of them. What do they expect will happen? Do they assume they will feel good forever or that their nieces and nephews will look after them?
As crazy as it sounds, it makes me sad to think that I'd one day be a burden to someone (my children) as I advance into old age. It seems really selfish to say that a primary reason to have children is so that you have someone to care for you when you're unable to do it on your own.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:28 pm to ctiger69
I have two, but I understand why people don't. I wouldn't trade them for anything, but I do sit and wonder what life would be like with all that extra disposable income.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:30 pm to cas4t
quote:
quote:
But its like getting excited about recommending a good book, movie, whatever to a friend.
No, it's not.
Oh lord you people, clearly reading a book isn't the same thing as having a kid. But the same principles apply in terms of why a good friend may advise you to try something which you have said you don't want to. For example: "I know you said you don't like [insert genre], but i just read [insert title] and you would really like it."
It doesn't bother the friend that you don't enjoy those kind of books; however, since said friend knows you, he believes that you may actually enjoy a book of that type if you were to give it a try. Again book does not equal kid, just sort of a simplistic but comparable explanation of why friends sometimes think it worthwhile to recommend things which you have previously said you are not interested in.
This post was edited on 5/15/17 at 12:34 pm
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:30 pm to Pecker
Having someone to love and care for you as you age isnt the primary (you keep using this word) reason to have kids, but it's just something to think about.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:30 pm to Pecker
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:31 pm to Eighteen
quote:
Having someone to love and care for you as you age isnt the primary (you keep using this word) reason to have kids, but it's just something to think about.
Yep there's also putting them to work for no pay early on. That's a big plus.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:31 pm to LouisianaLady
quote:
No is a complete sentence. No need to justify or defend your personal decisions that really aren't anyone else's business. When you give reasons, you leave room for rebuttal.
Good point, but we were trying to be polite because she is recently pregnant and they're good friends of ours.
I kept it light and just placated her when she gave us her spiel. My fiance was annoyed as hell though.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:31 pm to Pecker
I tell every person that will listen to never get married and if they make that mistake to never have kids.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:32 pm to Pecker
People like to impose their will on others. Make them think and like the same. These people are called assholes.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:34 pm to TigerRad
a quote from this guy
who actually hassles people about having children?
quote:
“Are you so obsessed with yourself you need to make more of you?” a friend recently asked so I’d stop hassling him about being childless.
who actually hassles people about having children?
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:35 pm to Pecker
quote:
LNCHBOX, my dude. Ask your wife if she's interested in an open marriage. I might be able to improve your marriage for you.
My marriage is fantastic. You'd be lucky to have half of what I do.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:35 pm to Pecker
quote:
Do they assume they will feel good forever or that their nieces and nephews will look after them?
are you suggesting that your own children will do this? Lots of old people out there with kids who don't do shite for them.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:35 pm to SidewalkDawg
quote:
Yep there's also putting them to work for no pay early on. That's a big plus.
also, you get the opportunity to meet their young, hot teachers.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:35 pm to cas4t
quote:
also, you get the opportunity to meet their young, hot teachers.
Too bad theyre already banging them though.
This post was edited on 5/15/17 at 12:36 pm
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:36 pm to dagrippa
I do to know what is worse the crowd that says having kids is the greatest thing ever or the look at me I don't want kids and I am sooooooo happy I don't have them.
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