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1
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:04 pm to Pecker
I don't know if it bother's them, maybe they just got a bit excited since she was recently pregnant.
But its like getting excited about recommending a good book, movie, whatever to a friend. You want them to enjoy what you are since they are your friends but can occasionally come off as pushy. Really not a big deal, most people with their shite together find having kids to be a highly rewarding and life changing experience. Just forget about it, not that big of a deal.
ETA: I guess i need to go ahead and state that reading a book does not equal having a kid. I thought that would be just a generally accepted principle, but i was mistaken. The above simply an example of why a friend may recommend something to you which you have previously said you are not interested in.
But its like getting excited about recommending a good book, movie, whatever to a friend. You want them to enjoy what you are since they are your friends but can occasionally come off as pushy. Really not a big deal, most people with their shite together find having kids to be a highly rewarding and life changing experience. Just forget about it, not that big of a deal.
ETA: I guess i need to go ahead and state that reading a book does not equal having a kid. I thought that would be just a generally accepted principle, but i was mistaken. The above simply an example of why a friend may recommend something to you which you have previously said you are not interested in.
This post was edited on 5/15/17 at 12:33 pm
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:06 pm to CorporateTiger
quote:
I actually helped a friend with that once (I'm an attorney). It was a clusterfrick.
I believe you, pots and pans in it self is a clusterfrick, and badly in need of reform
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:07 pm to Pecker
Because as a father, having children is the best thing I've ever experienced. It's an entirely new life that I didn't know existed before. Do you sacrifice some things? Absolutely but when it's for your kids, it's not a "sacrifice".
There will be only one type of person at your deathbed - family. Work won't be there, most friends won't be there, and your debit card won't be there. Only family.
Do life right.
There will be only one type of person at your deathbed - family. Work won't be there, most friends won't be there, and your debit card won't be there. Only family.
Do life right.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:08 pm to Pecker
Marriage is about starting a family. Man and woman create life. One of my friends said he did not want to have kids because he said he was to selfish. He said he did not want to waste time on them or care for kids. Said he just wanted to worrry about himself and travel/drink. So I said a child does not deserve a chance at a life because you would rather travel and drink. He said yep. He should not have gotten married.
Some people just have that mentality. You can't changed them nor should you. They will end up being one of those people obsessed with there nieces and nephews at family events/special occasions and it will be awkward for everyone as they try to fill this strange void they have in their caring heart. They will end up dying alone or if they are lucky have their spouse at their bedside when death is near. Nobody will truly miss them except for their old spouse if their mind is right and aren't to busy hanging out with your new replacement. It truly is sad and depressing for these people. Nothing can replace the love a child has for his parents. Nothing.
Some people just have that mentality. You can't changed them nor should you. They will end up being one of those people obsessed with there nieces and nephews at family events/special occasions and it will be awkward for everyone as they try to fill this strange void they have in their caring heart. They will end up dying alone or if they are lucky have their spouse at their bedside when death is near. Nobody will truly miss them except for their old spouse if their mind is right and aren't to busy hanging out with your new replacement. It truly is sad and depressing for these people. Nothing can replace the love a child has for his parents. Nothing.
This post was edited on 5/15/17 at 1:48 pm
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:09 pm to Pecker
I can see why a parent of that couple would be upset because they want grandkids, other than that I don't understand why anyone would bother having an opinion on it at all. If anything there's plenty of people out there that I'd rather they not reproduce.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:09 pm to Pecker
Having kids is a very fulfilling experience that I would "recommend" to any married couple that can financially support them.
Before having kids, I constantly got the BS pressure from other couples with children and have come to the conclusion.... they are jealous that they are strapped down to the duties of being a parent while you are currently doing whatever in the frick it is that you would like to do lol. I actually got to the point where I would tell everyone that asked about us having children that "we are currently enjoying and doing whatever in the frick it is that we want to do and that when we get to a point where we don't want to do whatever in the frick it is that we want to do, we will explore the option" ANDDD that usually shut them up
Before having kids, I constantly got the BS pressure from other couples with children and have come to the conclusion.... they are jealous that they are strapped down to the duties of being a parent while you are currently doing whatever in the frick it is that you would like to do lol. I actually got to the point where I would tell everyone that asked about us having children that "we are currently enjoying and doing whatever in the frick it is that we want to do and that when we get to a point where we don't want to do whatever in the frick it is that we want to do, we will explore the option" ANDDD that usually shut them up
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:09 pm to Pecker
quote:
I had a couple try to talk my fiance and me into having kids
I support your decision NOT to procreate 100%.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:11 pm to Pecker
quote:
The woman 30 and just got pregnant
That couple has realized that for the forseeable future the only friends that they will spend quality time with are others with like aged kids. They want to rope you in so they have friends that they already like. I wouldn't take any advice about having kids from them due to the fact that they have no actual experience with it.
IYAM It's pretty shitty and selfish to push parenthood on friends.
This post was edited on 5/15/17 at 12:14 pm
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:11 pm to ctiger69
quote:
One of my friends said he did not want to have kids because he said he was to selfish. He said he did not want to waste time on them or care for kids. Said he just wanted to worrry about himself and travel/drink. So I said somebody a child does not deserve a chance at a life because you would rather travel and drink.
Props to him for recognizing that he isn't ready for kids. If he's not ready for the challenge, then he shouldn't be pressured into because society says so.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:11 pm to Pecker
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:11 pm to Pecker
I guess they want you to be as miserable as they are.. 
I had just moved in my house and the couple across the street come marching over for a welcome to the neighborhood talk. The guy asked if I had any kids and when I said no he got this look on his face like I was just kicking puppies."What no kids..WHY!" he actually said WHY! I said point blank I don't want kids. He and his wife kept the kicking puppies look on their face.
I had just moved in my house and the couple across the street come marching over for a welcome to the neighborhood talk. The guy asked if I had any kids and when I said no he got this look on his face like I was just kicking puppies."What no kids..WHY!" he actually said WHY! I said point blank I don't want kids. He and his wife kept the kicking puppies look on their face.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:13 pm to Pecker
quote:
we didn't see it working given our careers and that it wouldn't be fair to the child,
Your way of thinking is much better than people who just pump out children because they follow instinct.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:13 pm to Pecker
Low IQ explains so much.
Similarly, an incapacity to empathize with others is all too common. Compassion requires a kind of spiritual maturity.
Last and never least, people want their life decisions validated by peers.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:13 pm to LordSaintly
quote:
Props to him for recognizing that he isn't ready for kids. If he's not ready for the challenge, then he shouldn't be pressured into because society says so.
He is 40 years old. Been married for 20+ years. I feel bad for him. I really do. He wanted to help coach a young youth team and I had to tell him that only parents of kids on the team could help out. He looked devastated. He acts depressed and I think it's because he is alone and never moved on to the next chapter of his life.
This post was edited on 5/15/17 at 12:19 pm
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:14 pm to Pecker
People are raised with certain expectations. People who come from traditional families are expected to get married by a certain point in their life and then soon after they are expected to have kids. Since they were taught that is how "good people" live, in general, they will frown on people who doesn't have the same model of life as they do.
With that said, I always wonder how many people are living a certain life, not because they want to, but because it is expected of them. As for as I am concerned, people should live a life that they feel is best for them. I don't care if someone decides to stay single the rest of their life, if they decide to get married and have no kids, if they are swingers or have some nontraditional sex life, etc, etc, etc. It isn't my place or anyone else's place to judge them. People will, but frick them.
With that said, I always wonder how many people are living a certain life, not because they want to, but because it is expected of them. As for as I am concerned, people should live a life that they feel is best for them. I don't care if someone decides to stay single the rest of their life, if they decide to get married and have no kids, if they are swingers or have some nontraditional sex life, etc, etc, etc. It isn't my place or anyone else's place to judge them. People will, but frick them.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:15 pm to ctiger69
Lol. Guy is happy, why do you think you know what is better for him than he does?
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:15 pm to 777Tiger
quote:
I'm not sure that I 100% feel this way but I'm really starting to wonder more and more, why get married if you're not planning on having kids?
google this exact sentence.
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:15 pm to Pecker
Trust me, your fiancé wants kids and she'll have them even if they're not yours
Posted on 5/15/17 at 12:16 pm to Pettifogger
quote:
I will say that the people who continue without kids (by choice) and don't ultimately change their position often aren't the nicest or most likable people, on average.
Not trying to throw a blanket statement out there, but it's kind of the stereotype. I know several who would "never" have kids, but eventually did and are great parents. The ones who are just hardcore, stick to their guns, never gonna have kids types come off as selfish/narcissistic. If you can't have your life bothered enough to have a kid (which many believe to be an amazing experience for yourself anyway), then you probably put yourself first in every situation possible, which makes you a miserable person to be around.
Obviously that's not true in every case.
It's easy to have a well rounded life enjoying your hobbies while still having kids.
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