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Posted on 8/24/20 at 9:22 am to R11
Of all the issues facing you, I would concentrate on the job. This is the thing that would be most pressing and would bring the biggest sense of accomplishment and refocus you on the things that matters.....being a loving, supportive father. Kids do ok with divorce, they just have to feel secure and loved.
Some women leave, a healthy dose of contempt is best for those type. That relationship is probably gone.
I am not minimizing your other stated issues, but it seems you are trying to compose a list...you have enough weight with the first two. I would not borrow trouble from things that are pretty natural and expected, and also do not have a daily impact on your life. We all love grandparents and friends, but at the end of the day your life is about 95% comprised of your daily interactions with your kids and your future employer.
Some women leave, a healthy dose of contempt is best for those type. That relationship is probably gone.
I am not minimizing your other stated issues, but it seems you are trying to compose a list...you have enough weight with the first two. I would not borrow trouble from things that are pretty natural and expected, and also do not have a daily impact on your life. We all love grandparents and friends, but at the end of the day your life is about 95% comprised of your daily interactions with your kids and your future employer.
Posted on 8/24/20 at 9:23 am to R11
Strip Clubs and booger sugar.
Posted on 8/24/20 at 9:23 am to R11
Yep, one foot in front of the other.
What also really helps is doing something for someone else. If you're in south LA help a friend or neighbor prepare for the weather. Helping others will take your mind off of your troubles and make you feel better about yourself.
What also really helps is doing something for someone else. If you're in south LA help a friend or neighbor prepare for the weather. Helping others will take your mind off of your troubles and make you feel better about yourself.
Posted on 8/24/20 at 9:25 am to R11
Take the kids and go spend some time in the outdoors. Whether its fishing, camping, hiking some trails in a new area, kayaking or tubing down a river. Nature has a good way of being a stress reliever
Posted on 8/24/20 at 9:26 am to R11
Plan a solo trip to Patagonia. Bounce around SA this upcoming Jan. Clear thy head.
Posted on 8/24/20 at 9:26 am to R11
2020 sucks we're getting closer. Pick up a new hobby or get into something you loved as a kid. Keep it moving 
Posted on 8/24/20 at 9:27 am to AUCE05
quote:Yeah, my kids are suffering...let me go head out to Patagonia by myself for a little me time. Jesus.
Plan a solo trip to Patagonia.
Posted on 8/24/20 at 9:28 am to R11
Take up daytrading
Posted on 8/24/20 at 9:29 am to R11
quote:
Any suggested reading besides the Bible that can help me?
Hang in there. I highly recommend "Can't Hurt Us" by David Goggins. A good bit of it is about discipline and overcoming obstacles, but the discussion of his childhood and upbringing and what he dealt with to come out the other side is inspirational IMO.
Posted on 8/24/20 at 9:29 am to R11
Life is definitely full of highs and lows. Going to the gym is a good way to detach from reality for a few hours a week. Also, makes you feel good about yourself. The economy is going to rebound and you will have some great job prospects soon enough. The pendulum will swing back for you before you know it.
Posted on 8/24/20 at 9:31 am to R11
You deserve to grieve with all of your losses. That’s okay.
Keep taking things one day at a time and pray for the grace to make it through another day. Days will turn into weeks, weeks into months.
Once you’ve found a little equilibrium, try to remember that the meaning we get out of life is the good that we can do for others.
That doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice the self totally. Of course not! In fact, you’re no good to anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself and treat yourself like you matter!
But you have learned some very hard lessons that bring sober wisdom: life is not about happiness, unicorns, and rainbows. We cannot avoid suffering forever.
Life is about doing your best to make this place a better, more loving world for you, your family, and the whole community, both now and into the future. And at the end, you can feel you have done your best and have run the race, and fought the good fight.
The pain of life will come. Suffering is inevitable. You just got a double helping all at once. Your experience will be helpful as you reach out to others.
God bless you and know that the Father loves you with an everlasting love!
Keep taking things one day at a time and pray for the grace to make it through another day. Days will turn into weeks, weeks into months.
Once you’ve found a little equilibrium, try to remember that the meaning we get out of life is the good that we can do for others.
That doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice the self totally. Of course not! In fact, you’re no good to anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself and treat yourself like you matter!
But you have learned some very hard lessons that bring sober wisdom: life is not about happiness, unicorns, and rainbows. We cannot avoid suffering forever.
Life is about doing your best to make this place a better, more loving world for you, your family, and the whole community, both now and into the future. And at the end, you can feel you have done your best and have run the race, and fought the good fight.
The pain of life will come. Suffering is inevitable. You just got a double helping all at once. Your experience will be helpful as you reach out to others.
God bless you and know that the Father loves you with an everlasting love!
Posted on 8/24/20 at 9:33 am to Nado Jenkins83
Yup
Posted on 8/24/20 at 9:34 am to Nado Jenkins83
quote:
You can do it because thats what we do as men. You push down all those shitty emotions and work through it.
This is good advice and can get you to push through most things, but when it gets overwhelming reach out to one of your best friends and talk to them. Go out and have a beer (don't get plastered because that will just make it worse) and tell him you're gonna bitch for a while and just need to vent to get some shite off your chest. If he's a good friend they'll sit there and listen and give you advice afterwards. Or make fun of you and get you to laugh for a while. Laughing makes you forget the shitty things, even just for a few minutes.
Posted on 8/24/20 at 9:34 am to R11
I’ve had a better year than some, and I lost one of my best friends of 35+ years at the end of February.
I’m reminded of a conversation I used to have with my grandpa around each of his birthdays.
Me: “So how does it feel to be <80-something> years old?”
Him: “Better than the alternative.”
Posted on 8/24/20 at 9:36 am to Oilfieldbiology
quote:quote:
You can do it because thats what we do as men. You push down all those shitty emotions and work through it.
I don’t why this got downvoted.
My guess is b/c the advice is flawed. Yes OP needs to work through it and be the man his kids need him to be. But he doesn't have to 'push down' the emotions. There are plenty of healthy ways to deal with shite that doesn't involve pushing it down and pretending like it isn't there. OP apparently needs to get shite off his chest and deal with some heavy shite. I'm not saying go curl up in the bed and cry it out, b/c that won't help. There is nothing wrong with seeing a therapist and seeking out advice from others. He has two kids and he needs to be there for them. Most people that push down shitty emotions end up doing it with drinking or drugs or they just become depressed and absent. Avoidance is not the best coping mechanism.
Posted on 8/24/20 at 9:36 am to IAmNERD
All true. Some people do reach a breaking point. I just look at what my grandfathers and father endured. All this is a cake walk compared to their lives. Helps me put it in perspective
Posted on 8/24/20 at 9:36 am to R11
How to Survive the Loss of a Love
This post was edited on 8/24/20 at 9:38 am
Posted on 8/24/20 at 9:38 am to R11
Good luck man
Posted on 8/24/20 at 9:38 am to R11
2020 is a horrid year. Keep your head up and look at even the smallest of things as joy.
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