re: If you want to kill yourself, friggin call someone first. Please.

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I think a couple of things can be true here:

- The large majority of people who take their own life struggle with mental illness/disorder for a long time and aren't acting out of selfishness, even if to everyone they hurt it appears precisely like that. Unfortunately, I think for many, picking up the phone or getting them some help merely postpones the inevitable. I'm not trying to be fatalistic or get people to not do those things, but from observation that seems to be a reality a lot of the time.

- That said, I do think it's a baby/bath water situation where we use the above to ignore the societal/cultural developments that are leading some people who might otherwise not have succumbed to disordered thinking to do so. It allows us to ignore our culture spouting lies of catastrophe at them, the impacts of war, technological isolation, etc.

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I don't disagree with any of that. I just think sometimes people of sound mind try to understand why a person of unsound mind would do something like kill themselves and the answer is rather obvious.

I am going to differ from most in my opinion. I think there are reasons for someone feeling suicidal and not "came out of nowhere." It may not seem rational to us but it is to them. For one, overachievers put high demands on themselves and "failures" in life can feel catastrophic to them.

Also, the scenario in the above post above would be hard for a lot of people to handle

Yeah, I agree. The self-torture never makes much sense.

Unfortunately, I've been around two suicides where mental illness probably didn't play a significant role, both of adolescents. It's probably impacted how I think about this.

I’m sorry for your loss. As an LMSW working in crisis management at a community mental health clinic as well as serving as the director of our local 988 call center. Since 988 went live in 2022, replacing the 1-800-273-TALK number, I’ve been amazed at how many people are still unaware of it. The 988 crisis line is such a valuable resource, and I want to remind everyone that there are trained professionals available, ready to listen and offer support. If you or someone you know is in crisis, you don’t have to go through it alone.

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But these people are almost always delusional in a way that makes them convinced their families are better off without them. They truly believe it is a selfless act, not a selfish one. It's terrifying, honestly, because very normal, level-headed people succumb to this delusion.

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Yeah that’s the thing, a lot of times people have really reasoned it out and put a lot of thought into it. In their minds it’s logically justifiable. Depression can create a lens that presents the decision as one of logic and not emotion.

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Why the hell couldn't he call someone? Talk to someone.

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As someone who has been there before, not even talking to someone helped. I did talk to someone, but still had every intention of taking my life afterwards.

I thank God every day that I failed.

Good friend of mine left his house one day to pick up his 2 young daughters from school. They got home and he got busy in his garage doing some cleanup and the 2 girls went inside to see their mom.

They found her dead in the tub with a bullet hole in her head. Those 2 girls were not the same after that and many sessions with a therapist were needed to help them. My friend never married again after she did that and he was in his mid 30's at the time.

Sorry about your friend.

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Men are told to just bottle it up or you aren't a man.

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My wife tells me the opposite and I still bottle it up. I don't want to burden anyone with my problems that I eventually solve/handle anyway.

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Buried a close friend on Monday. He was the last person in the world I would have thought would take his life.

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Judging from your location... we probably know the same individual and I agree..out of everyone I know or ever have known he would be the last person I thought could commit suicide. Depression is a silent disease and often those suffering the most seem the most outgoing and hardworking...it helps to keep the pain at bay to stay busy..until it doesnt. It is a terrible loss for his family, friends, and community.

Sorry for your loss. Suicide is a hard thing to process. It doesn’t end someone’s pain it only shifts that pain to others.

I know from experience, my wife took her own life in 2013.

People do not wake up and decide to end their lives one day over some trivial matter. They wake up, and finally have peace about NOT Resisting the desire to go on hurting/disappointing the people around them that they love.

Suicide is not a single issue problem. People who attempt and succeed are suicide have multiple things in their lives that are driving factors. The main factor is they do not have access to or do not seek help for their problems. I know. As I’ve said unfortunately I am a manner of that terrible club that no one want so be a part of called survivors of a love ones suicide.

What I can tell you is do not underestimate the value in grief counseling. Survivors of a loved one’s suicide are by some estimates 25% more likely to contemplate and attempt suicide themselves than the general populace.

Again my deepest condolences to you and your friends loved ones.