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2
Posted on 8/1/24 at 3:33 pm to Hangover Haven
One of my friends mentioned that he didn't care if his wife cheated on him as long as he didn't find out, so I wouldn't tell him for sure 
If it was one of my core buddies? I'd tell him. If it was someone who was part of my larger social circle? I wouldn't get involved in the drama.
If it was one of my core buddies? I'd tell him. If it was someone who was part of my larger social circle? I wouldn't get involved in the drama.
This post was edited on 8/1/24 at 7:31 pm
Posted on 8/1/24 at 3:34 pm to RealDawg
If I knew someone was cheating, even if it is just an acquaintance, I would let the other person know. Cheaters are scum, they deserve to get caught.
Posted on 8/1/24 at 3:36 pm to GreenRockTiger
quote:
why? Seems reasonable
i don't disagree that it's reasonable, just not my perspective. i'd want to know.
i know numerous marriages that have survived an affair and then thrived. plenty fell apart, but the affair was a symptom, not the cause of the divorce.
one couple is still happily married 20+ years later and another 10.
Posted on 8/1/24 at 3:36 pm to 3nOut
quote:
however, if you find out one of us had a one night stand and cut it off immediately, i'd just rather neither of us ever know."
and his wife agreed.
i was a bit floored by this.
I kind of get this. If it was for real a one time mistake and they weren't just having "one time mistakes" every weekend or an actual affair, the harm in telling long term outweighs the benefit.
The thing about an affair is that its not just meeting some rando drunk and then regretting it the next day, its a lot more malicious because there is so much sneaking around and planning involved.
Posted on 8/1/24 at 3:36 pm to Hangover Haven
Yes, of course if I had verified proof. It would be very awkward for obvious reasons. However, what choice do you have if it's really your good buddy?
I wouldn't go searching for proof or anything like that.
If it was my buddy doing the cheating and I wasn't particularly close with his wife, I'd certainly tell him he is being dumb, but I wouldn't butt into their relationship.
Now, the entire scenario changes if you're close with the dude and his wife. In such a case, you have no choice again, but someone will hate your guts. It's a Catch 22.
I wouldn't go searching for proof or anything like that.
If it was my buddy doing the cheating and I wasn't particularly close with his wife, I'd certainly tell him he is being dumb, but I wouldn't butt into their relationship.
Now, the entire scenario changes if you're close with the dude and his wife. In such a case, you have no choice again, but someone will hate your guts. It's a Catch 22.
This post was edited on 8/1/24 at 3:41 pm
Posted on 8/1/24 at 3:39 pm to VolSquatch
quote:
TBQH if my buddy was cheating on his wife I would tell her.
Why wouldn't you talk to your "buddy" and tell him to get his head out of his arse and give him a chance to step up and be a man?
Posted on 8/1/24 at 3:39 pm to VolSquatch
quote:
The thing about an affair is that its not just meeting some rando drunk and then regretting it the next day, its a lot more malicious because there is so much sneaking around and planning involved.
and i do get that. i travel for work and am a 6 or so. i don't frequent bars, but i've had my fair share of propositions due to being a decent looking non-douche bag.
i've been drunk enough to contemplate it a time or two, but been faithful on the road for 15 years now. even if it was a one night stand, and i forgot or didn't know her name, i don't think i could look my wife in the face the next day.
Posted on 8/1/24 at 3:40 pm to KCSilverTiger
quote:
Why wouldn't you talk to your "buddy" and tell him to get his head out of his arse and give him a chance to step up and be a man?
I probably would do that first, for sure. But what is right is right whether its happening to my friend or if its my friend doing it. I'm not going to selectively apply morals.
Posted on 8/1/24 at 3:40 pm to Hangover Haven
Just make sure to collect on the money he owes you first because his humiliation will end the friendship unless you guys are like best bros.
Posted on 8/1/24 at 3:42 pm to Beessnax
quote:
No because when they reconcile it would somehow become all my fault and I would lose both as friends
If thats the case those arent friends.
Posted on 8/1/24 at 3:43 pm to Hangover Haven
quote:
Would you tell him?
You wouldn’t be a good friend if you did not.
But, if you were also friends with the wife, and the evidence was circumstantial and there is reasonable doubt there, you may want to give her an opportunity to explain herself before talking to your buddy.
Posted on 8/1/24 at 3:45 pm to Masterag
I think "Saw" or "Knew"
takes care of this
takes care of this
quote:
reasonable doubt
Posted on 8/1/24 at 3:47 pm to 3nOut
quote:
however, if you find out one of us had a one night stand and cut it off immediately, i'd just rather neither of us ever know." and his wife agreed.
They’re both open to the other having one-night stands, obviously.
Posted on 8/1/24 at 3:47 pm to 3nOut
quote:it’s reasonable to an extent bc if one night stands are happening often, then that’s a problem, and I would want to know
i don't disagree that it's reasonable,
Posted on 8/1/24 at 3:49 pm to Hangover Haven
I would just email me them with pics from a burner account.
Posted on 8/1/24 at 3:50 pm to Hangover Haven
If you are truly good friends, you definitely tell him. Anybody who does that type of crap behinds their spouse's back, needs to be called out and publicly embarrassed and maybe that will help curb that type of stupid behavior.
Posted on 8/1/24 at 3:51 pm to Hangover Haven
Why wouldn't you?
Posted on 8/1/24 at 3:52 pm to Hangover Haven
I would tell my friend if I had proof, otherwise I'd mind my own business.
Posted on 8/1/24 at 3:55 pm to Dixie Normus
quote:
I’d give her 24 hours to tell him or I’m doing it for her.
That gives her 24 hours to figure out how to frame you for coming onto her such that she looks like the victim and he does not believe you.
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