- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Coaching Changes
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
re: I Have A Question About Unrequited Love
Posted on 11/18/20 at 6:26 am to Hope Seternal
Posted on 11/18/20 at 6:26 am to Hope Seternal
quote:Couple of potential issues with this.
Try Percy Sledge.
1): He’s dead. Died 4/14/15 in Baton Rouge
2): What’s the charge? I’m not an attorney but this seems kinda Popish Circa 897 AD
See Cadaver Synod Wikipedia Entry
0
Posted on 11/18/20 at 6:28 am to LuckyTiger
quote:
Is he right to realize that she just isn’t the one to fill his needs and desires and is doing the painful but right thing by letting her go?
Probably.
quote:
Is it not a mistake because he can’t make himself feel something?
Probably.
If you’re not feeling it now, try adding 20 pounds, 2-3 kids, and other real life things.
Plus her devotion could likely change over the years (seems to change about 50% of the time from what I’ve seen). So then you’re stuck with a wife you don’t really love or even like.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 6:28 am to Kafka
quote:
Kafka
Posted on 11/18/20 at 6:39 am to LuckyTiger
The reason the divorce rate is so high, and continuing to climb, is because people have changed their thinking on love. People today think love is an emotion, it isn’t. Love is a commitment. Love is a decision. No one “feels” in n love all the time, that’s where the commitment comes in. Your “friend” is no different than most today. He doesn’t deserve that woman.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 6:45 am to supadave3
quote:
How old is this chap?
37.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 6:51 am to Havoc
quote:
Plus her devotion could likely change over the years (seems to change about 50% of the time from what I’ve seen). So then you’re stuck with a wife you don’t really love or even like.
This is possible but supposedly she told him that she has loved him for like 18 years. They were friends then hooked up and have been on again off again ever since.
But you’re right. I’ve known guys I thought hit the jackpot with women who seemed hopelessly in love with them, dedicated, did everything, got married then after 12 years or so left and divorced their husbands. Couples I never thought would split up.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 6:52 am to LuckyTiger
You know, maybe I’m just an old sourpuss, or maybe I’m simply a realist, but the western world, and especially America, puts a little too much emphasis on these fluttery feelings we like to call love, when they’re simply chemical attractions, or Infatuations, obsessions, etc, and much less on the practicality of marriage. Marriage is in fact much more of a business venture than a story book. IMO, it’s far better to find a level headed business partner of the opposite sex you’re attracted to than the Hallmark version of “The One” we are all told is out there for us, that one that’s perfect for us and going to make all of our dreams come true bullshite. Then, when life hits you both square in the face, you realize you should have picked much more pragmatically than like some childhood dreamer.
I know this isn’t a popular take, but Love is much more a decision you make to build than a happening that falls upon you. It takes time to build it.
I know this isn’t a popular take, but Love is much more a decision you make to build than a happening that falls upon you. It takes time to build it.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 6:52 am to LuckyTiger
You can’t force yourself to love someone. If you try, you will eventually hate that you didn’t listen to yourself.
Walk away
You will be happier in the end
Walk away
You will be happier in the end
Posted on 11/18/20 at 6:55 am to LuckyTiger
You just need to end it. Doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with either of you. You just can’t proceed in a relationship where your feelings are “i like her fine.”
Posted on 11/18/20 at 7:06 am to LuckyTiger
It's called the Peter Principle: people will pan out based on their level of competence which entails many factors.
If he isn't all that, then it may be time for a reality check aka he needs to meet some hot female who uses him and dumps him.
If he is that gifted, then he might be able up to move up in the world and find a woman who has a better combination of good looks and kindness.
This is why generally you find that couples usually have about the same level of attractiveness. And when this seems incongruent, there might well be some hidden factors that are skewing the perspective of the more attractive mate.
If he isn't all that, then it may be time for a reality check aka he needs to meet some hot female who uses him and dumps him.
If he is that gifted, then he might be able up to move up in the world and find a woman who has a better combination of good looks and kindness.
This is why generally you find that couples usually have about the same level of attractiveness. And when this seems incongruent, there might well be some hidden factors that are skewing the perspective of the more attractive mate.
This post was edited on 11/18/20 at 7:34 am
Posted on 11/18/20 at 7:10 am to Mike da Tigah
quote:
Mike da Tigah
I don't think you and I will agree on many things but in this case I tend to agree, particularly in a case like this where the two people have known each other for a long time and have already been intimate and such. I believe that in new couple there should be that spark, that excitement, but it wears off quickly and you have to work at love. You have to cultivate it with communication, honesty, and selflessness.. That spark may not be there in a couple who has known each other for 20 years, but the rest could still be true.
That said, if the guy in the OP isnt feeling it and doesn't want to commit then it's best if he nips it in the bud and ends the relationship.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 7:10 am to LuckyTiger
I’ve got some personal experience with this one. The truth is there are so many factors that go into attraction that it isn’t impossible for his feelings to change, but it is probably unlikely, and definitely unfair to wait around to find out.
I dated a woman for a few months and she was definitely really into me, but I realized my feelings for her weren’t growing any stronger over time like hers. I was still having fun and she was really amazing, but I just didn’t see a future for us, so I broke it off. Fast forward just a couple months, we had remained in touch, and I was kicking myself because I was falling hard for that woman. But she made it pretty clear I had lost my shot at her.
Fast forward a few more months and I start seeing someone else. I’m not a great looking or special guy but somehow lightening struck twice and I found myself dating another amazing woman, who was head over heels for me. But it was the same situation where I just wasn’t feeling it for her. Not wanting to make the same mistake twice, I stuck with it for waaay too long. I never felt the same way about her as she did about me but by the time I broke it off with her she was just devastated. I’m not sure the extra pain I caused her by keeping at it for so long was worth the 100% certainty I had when I left her. I know for sure she doesn’t think so.
I dated a woman for a few months and she was definitely really into me, but I realized my feelings for her weren’t growing any stronger over time like hers. I was still having fun and she was really amazing, but I just didn’t see a future for us, so I broke it off. Fast forward just a couple months, we had remained in touch, and I was kicking myself because I was falling hard for that woman. But she made it pretty clear I had lost my shot at her.
Fast forward a few more months and I start seeing someone else. I’m not a great looking or special guy but somehow lightening struck twice and I found myself dating another amazing woman, who was head over heels for me. But it was the same situation where I just wasn’t feeling it for her. Not wanting to make the same mistake twice, I stuck with it for waaay too long. I never felt the same way about her as she did about me but by the time I broke it off with her she was just devastated. I’m not sure the extra pain I caused her by keeping at it for so long was worth the 100% certainty I had when I left her. I know for sure she doesn’t think so.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 7:15 am to LaLSU10
Damn that’s rough.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 7:17 am to LuckyTiger
quote:
They were friends then hooked up
This is the problem. He already had her. Woman used to know this rule.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 7:21 am to LuckyTiger
Posted on 11/18/20 at 7:22 am to LuckyTiger
More often than not the one who isn't feeling the same level of attraction has someone else in the back of their mind. Someone who they want and can't get to, and will hold on to any kind of thread that may be prevailing. They'll wait until that person either has a ring on their finger or married before they finally let go. Half assed relationships will be the norm while they try and fill the void/time because hey, if Jim and Pam somehow got together, we can too, right?
Posted on 11/18/20 at 7:25 am to LuckyTiger
quote:
She would do just about anything for him, she would make his life easy, she would make a great wife. She would be devoted.
This is what she wants him to think so he'll hitch himself to her. No telling what woman will exist on the other side of "I do".
Posted on 11/18/20 at 7:25 am to Fat and Happy
quote:You don’t have the best track record on telling others how to be happy. (See Heart Attack & Die-beet-us)
Fat and Happy
Posted on 11/18/20 at 7:32 am to LuckyTiger
The heart wants what the heart wants.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 7:37 am to LuckyTiger
Why get the state involved? She can love him, live with him, and when she’s ready she can leave him.
A man isn’t responsible for anyone’s feelings than his own. You can’t control what you feel. Only tamp it down.
A man isn’t responsible for anyone’s feelings than his own. You can’t control what you feel. Only tamp it down.
Page 2 of 3
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News